


Touken Revolution

by Vesperchan



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Sakura, F/M, Sakura is a sage, and a swordsmith, and give them human bodies, and is hunted for it, long chapters, she can hear the voices of the blades, warring shoguns era, were you looking for BAMF Sakura?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-10-31 06:24:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 72,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17844128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vesperchan/pseuds/Vesperchan
Summary: Sakura could hear the voices in the steel long before she knew what this meant. Years later she's nearly killed for this reason and is sent running out of the Land of Fire and into the neighboring country of Water for refuge. But her life is still not safe and very well never will be considering that's she's one of the only Sages alive, a person with the power to animate the nonliving as human soldiers. In her hands blades become warriors more fantastically loyal than any human born legion. She's a dangerous player in the world of warring shoguns, but all she wants to do is dirty her hands and make beautiful blades in the forge.In order to stay alive Sakura animates several Kiri treasured blades and is a little surprised with what happens next.





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

 **Touken Revolution  
**刀剣 -革命

* * *

刀  
Tou = a word for swords/knives/bladed weapons

剣  
Ken = usually refer to swords/katanas  
刀剣

Touken = (multiple) swords/bladed weapons and katanas

* * *

revolution : [rev-uh-loo-shuh n]

noun

1\. an overthrow or repudiation and the thorough replacement of an established government or political system by the people governed.

2\. Sociology. a radical and pervasive change in society and the social structure, especially one made suddenly and often accompanied by violence.

_3\. a sudden, complete or marked change in something: the present revolution in church architecture._

* * *

Part 1

* * *

When she had been a child in the slum villages Sakura had heard the stories of evil people with voices in their head who were hunted and killed to keep everyone else safe. When she started hearing the voices of weapons in her head she didn't tell anyone.

Maybe it was unwise, but the Wise Woman told Sakura her thread of fate was a tassel on the hilt of a sword, so she grew into a piece of the forge, learning the craft by a master too good for her meager origins. It was only through virtue of her skill he took her on, but never once did he regret it.

Before she was sixteen, she was fulfilling custom commissions for short blades and tantou with her seal next to her master's. A year later, she was the one fashioning the swords without his seal. By the time she was twenty, she was almost as sought out for her Uchigatana or striking swords as her master. Though it was her Tachi blades that she devoted herself to the most, and by the time she was twenty five, she made a small name for herself with those too.

"The demon is at it again."

Sakura looked up from the plates of kera steel that would be layered like puzzle pieces into the shape of a block. She knows the steps by heart by now, knowing that once the pieces are all assembled they will be wrapped in paper to keep together through the ash and the mud. Her fingers are already black at the tips and her knuckles are rough.

Sakura frowned at the shadow of one of the apprentices. His name was Idate but she called him Chip and he hated it almost as much as she hated being called a demon.

"I thought I smelled something reeking," he said.

"You have commissions you have to help master with. Leave me be."

Sakura huffed, looking back down at the flakes of steel that hum like whispers in her brain, telling her how they will work together in secret languages that haunt her into her dreams.

It's taken her hours to find half the pieces out of her boxes of jewel steel. There isn't much left and she has to be careful if she wants to make a matching tantou next month. Jewel steel won't be restocked for another sixty days. She needs to make it last.

When he doesn't reply right away she looked up and frowns. Chip's glare was cutting. "He sent me to fetch you for it. I'm working on the tatara forge."

"What, so soon? Why would you do that ahead of schedule?"

"You think I ask master pointless questions like that?"

Sakura rolled her eyes and forgot to hide it. "No, I don't think you ask many questions at all, to be honest."

"We can't all be haughty know-it-alls," he retorts. "Some of us have to do the ugly work that actually requires discipline, if you know what that is."

A part of Sakura hated Chip, but she also pitied him. Working on the tatara is a labor just to build it, but then there is a week long process where iron sand and charcoal is consumed to make the precious kera steel that's as treasured as jewels.

Sakura ignores the part of her that hates and pities the younger apprentice and focuses on her work once more. "Whoever ordered from master didn't request my hands in his steel, so I won't put them there. If they want my work they can ask for it."

Chip's sneer was almost audible. "You're quite full of yourself for being as young as you are. Just because you've made a few fancy blades for the Diamyo you think you don't have anything to learn from master."

Sakura looked back at the steel chips, hating how so many of them didn't want to work together. Sometimes they were loud and angry when settled next to each other, and that didn't make a legendary blade. Their voices needed to resonate, their voices needed to sing, not squabble like angry children until her brain felt like bleeding. The chattering of the metal was almost as annoying as the chattering from Chip.

"Sarutobi will call for me himself when he needs it. I'm busy, leave me to my work."

"You're not his son or his grandson so who do you think you are using his first name so-"

Sakura threw down a piece of kera steel and it chimed loudly as it fell back into the box. The sound made Chip stop and take a step back, almost cowering under the heat of her glare.

"You're damn right I'm not his son or his grandson. Neither of them are here, but _I am_ , so I'll call the old man whatever I want. Go work and leave me be."

He held her glare a moment more before ducking his head and tucking in his chin. Without another word, he turned and headed off in the direction of the field where they built and tore apart different tatara over the months. Some masters only made three a year, but Sarutobi used his apprentices to fashion seven to eight in a year.

"W _e live in dangerous times, more than you know_ ," Sarutobi once told her when she was smaller and thinner and complained more often about the labor of building a tatara.

She knew what his words meant a little better now.

It was twilight when Sarutobi came to her. She didn't look up when he sits down on the edge of a chair left in the corner for exactly that reason. Sakura didn't look up from her chips, but continued to sit lotus style in front of her drawers, listening and watching.

"Are they speaking to you today?"

Sakura looked up from under her lashes and her expression is baleful. Sarutobi laughed shamelessly and it was enough to pull her out of the lull of murmuring voices heard only in her head. They were still a noise, nothing cohesive.

"The brat said you wanted my help on a commission."

Sarutobi nods slowly. "I do."

Sakura tilted her head to the side ever so slightly. "I wasn't asked for in the commission, was I?"

She knows she sounds short and she knows he notices, but the smile doesn't falter.

"No, you weren't. The Shogun wouldn't ask for a woman to craft him a blade from what I know of him."

The attitude washes out of Sakura and she's left with a cold feeling in the normally warm forge. "The  _Shogun_  asked you?"

"Well, his retainer commissioned a 'fine katana worth admiring' as a birthday present, but I thought best to present my katana with a wakizashi of your own. The Shogun was once a fearsome samurai, and the picture of your wakizashi worn together with my katana…"

"Old man, you're crazy," Sakura breathed. "You'll lose your head for presuming too much."

"Or we'll lose all our free time filling orders for his men. Why do you think we build so many forges?"

Sakura hated the idea of fashioning a blade without being commissioned, but in all the land the only one more noteworthy was the emperor himself. And between any of the local daimyo and the Shogun, the one more likely to admire the truth of a blade was the one who actually was trained for one.

"When is this due?" Sakura asked.

"We have nine months."

She smirks. "It'll be like birthing a child."

His smile is ancient and ageless all at once and Sakura is reminded of the monkey he wears for his family crest. "I'll fashion the mother blade, then. You will birth the child?"

Sakura stares down at the materials she has to work with and then looks back up at her master. "Let me use some of your kera for the wakizashi."

"You can help yourself to whatever you like as long as it's for the Shogun."

He turned away from her and stared out at the dim sky where the last few sharp glares of sunset made the world disjointed in a way they said invited demons. Shadows stretched longer and went deeper one last time before melting out of shape.

Sakura never admitted to loving twilight best.

"Help me with the katana first. You should know what sort of personality it will have before you fashion a wakizashi to go with it." Sarutobi moves to stand and his body cracks as he straightens. "I think I will end the day with a smoke. Will you join me?"

Sakura didn't smoke, but she got up and walked him back for the sake of being close to the old man who is probably kinder to her than she deserves.

In hindsight, she should have taken that smoke and told the old man to go fuck himself.

* * *

It was raining like she knew it would, but nothing like she thought it would be in the land of fog and moors. The rain is a cold feeling like bites on her skin and she knows her face is red and raw where it isn't pale from the cold that comes out of everywhere. Her only solace is that for as miserable she must be, the hunters tracking her through the dusk and rain will be just as miserable.

The whisper of uniform swords is far and distant, but it wasn't far enough that she couldn't hear their words in her head, and she knew that meant they were closer now. There were dog barks and she wondered if they have spotted the blood. She was still seeping in places but without an extra pair of hands to hold pressure on the wounds, Sakura could do little more than keep the largest from draining her dry. She couldn't even draw her tantou to defend herself if they caught up.

 _'What were you going to do if they did?'_ she snarks to herself, feeling cynical and angry. _'You only make swords, you don't know how to use one.'_

But even if she could defend herself against the average thug, these were samurai who served under the Shogun. She wouldn't last ten seconds. Sarutobi certainly hadn't.

Sakura crossed a vein of water that branched off from the larger river, picking her legs up to keep the sound as low as possible. With the rain there was a constant hiss in her ears, but she still didn't want to take chances in giving away her position to anyone.

The land was muddy and dull, looking like the same thing no matter where she turned. There was nothing for her to use as a guide and nothing to save her from doubling back and accidentally running into the men who chased her. She almost cried, but there was no time for tears or self pity, she had to move.

The vein of water she crossed over reconnected with the main river and Sakura grimaced at the strong rolls of white foam she saw where water broke upon rock. It roared a dull roar only, but she didn't doubt it was powerful enough to sweep her away if she fell in.

It was the stupidest thing she could have done and she knew that. But she also knew that her pursuers would think that as well. So, Sakura stepped into the water.

An arrow dug onto her shoulder from the side and she staggered sideways, crying out and dropping the cloth around her wound. The world spun dizzy and she feared the bloodless would finally do her in. She had run so far with so little already.

Sakura felt her whole body shake as she reached up to grasp the shaft sticking out of her shoulder and wince at the hurt sensation. Her other hand reached for her tantou, smearing blood over the dark handle. It wouldn't do her much good, she didn't have the energy to even raise her arm, much less swing it.

The dog barking grew louder and Sakura closed her eyes to the sound of it, recognizing the whispers behind the noise. Their swords were coming for her, drawing ever closer. Another arrow landed in the water a few feet away, followed by two others. They couldn't spot her exactly, but they knew she was somewhere close.

If only she could have gotten to the docks. If only she had made it as far as they told her to go. She would have been safe there, where Kakashi waited for hr. Maybe she was close, maybe she wasn't, but as she lay bleeding out, Sakura couldn't help her thoughts be anything but critical. She should have been faster, smarter, quicker.

With effort, she drew her tantou and held it with her bloody fingers till her knuckles gleamed white underneath the blood.

"Please," she whispered, through clenched teeth. "I don't want to die like this….not here, not now…not like him."

She could still see her teacher, old and dead and red, red, red, red…. For as long as she lived, no matter how short that may be, she would never be able to forget that scene.

The tantou that often whispered back was silent. She didn't blame it. She was pathetic to blubber for her life without any pride. She wasn't worth whispering to anymore. Not even her best tantou, the only one worth naming, would comfort her in her final moments.

"Sorry, Sai," Sakura breathed, closing her eyes and letting her head roll to the side on the riverbank, half turned into the water.

She felt the knife slide out of her hand but didn't look up. She could hear the footsteps close enough to trample grasses on the riverbank. Someone crouched over her and Sakura let herself fade a little more.

"What are you doing here, kid? We've got a-ugk!"

Hot blood spilled onto her hands.

"Get him, run him thought!"

"Set loose the dogs, Mirai!"

Sakura forced her eyes open once but all she saw was shadows without shape. Her heart stuttered in her chest and she felt her face fall the rest of the way into the river. She didn't bother to lift it again, keeping her nostrils just above water, she drifted out.

* * *

Shikamaru grimaced at the sight before looking off to the side where his captain should have been, only to see that spot empty, as usual.

"I'm going to take this loss personally," Shikamaru grumbled, stepping over the stain spread across the floor's wood grain. "Sarutobi made my  _Temari_  and his apprentice made its brother,  _Kankuro_. She was supposed to be working on a tantou to complete the set."

"You are not the only one who will have to endure the loss," Neji replied sternly, hands clasped behind his back. "The pair had a great number of clients they were crafting for. Be grateful you received one of her last works. The value on their swords will surely skyrocket because of this incident."

Shikamaru shook his head mockingly. "Oh, well at least we have that, don't we?"

"You are not the only one upset, so don't act like it," Neji snapped in a rare show of agitation that even made its way into his eyes.

Normally the paragon of a perfect ward in the noble family, Neji never showed much emotion to the rest of the world. Few things irked him enough to cause him to snap and Shikamaru doubted the loss of investment property was really what bothered the young man.

"Did you have her working on a commission as well?" Shikamaru guessed. He lowered his voice and muttered the rest to himself before moving to a new end of the room. "Figures, she's your type."

"That's not important enough to discuss right now," said Neji, staring down at the blood designs that stained the wood floors. "We have villains to track down. In addition to Haruno, we may suspect there to be several others involved in the plot."

Shikamaru glowered. "Your language is a bit too strong for this sort of situation. Sarutobi is already dead so Orochimaru shouldn't have any more demands from us. He was the only one with evidence damning him as an usurper. Unlike the intel he provided us with, the Nara have been unable to substantiate any evidence of dissension."

"It's not my place to question that. I am sure our Shogun has his reasons," said Neji.

Shikamaru watched the taller male from across the room, hands lax at his sides. Neji's posture was pin perfect. Like the girls at court claimed, he was princely and serene in spite of his lowly standing. He had risen through the ranks on merit and good favor, earning much respect as he went.

Shikamaru respected Neji enough, especially for the Hyuga's intellect. But in moments like these, looking at the princely Hyuga put a bad taste in Shikamaru's mouth. Nothing was sacred to Neji, not even his friends. If the situation had been different, would Neji be just as quick to turn on his other friends? Would he turn on Shikamaru without hesitation?

There were footsteps and Shikamaru looked up to another solider approach the murder site. This one looked little different from the last, and he knew it was because the Shogun liked all his personal guards to be raised and trained the same way-in the dark without love or sunlight. Rumors said most were orphans or eunuchs discarded and the edges of barren farms and salted fields.

"A report, Nara san!"

Shikamaru looked up and accepted the paper from the delivery boy, folding it open with one hand. His eyes scanned the first few lines and the paper crinkled under his fingers as he readjusted his grip to grasp it with both hands.

"What is it?" Neji asked, hearing the paper crinkle.

"You can call off the rest of the searches. They littered her body with arrows just outside of Kiri. She was alone. There's nothing to track down anymore." Shikamaru handed off the report to Neji and started to walk away, one hand resting on Temari and Kankuro. "I hope that makes Orochimaru happy."

He didn't look back, but he heard Neji pick up the crumpled note and stretch it taunt.

* * *

Sakura awoke on a gasp of breath that burned her in more places than she remembered being injured. Her side, her shoulder, her leg-she remembered those injuries-but her lungs were raw and burning with salt and blood.

"There she is, I'm glad to see you alive and well," Kakashi cheered playfully, staring down at her on the floor with a small book in his hand. The pages were colored in shades of peach and the pictures on the back and cover gave away the crux of the story.

"Well?" Sakura coughed. She leaned over and gasped again, filling her lungs up with air that made the deep places sting. When she coughed again it sounded like tearing bedsheets.

"Yes, well enough considering how cold and till you were when I found you at the edge of the river, caught in the storm dam. You were barely bleeding with how numb the river left your body. It's been over a week and for the first two-three days we weren't sure you would even pull through. Ah, but I put my money on your full recovery."

Sakura closed her eyes and let the world go dark as she rolled back onto her back.

"You found me," she surmised. "What of the guards?"

Kakashi flipped a page. "What guards?"

"The ones that put the arrows in my back," she snapped, eyes sharp. "Tell me you weren't followed."

"No…but I thought you were. There were bodies, but no one left alive anywhere near here." He flipped to a new page. "Oh, well, no one from the palace anyway. Your friend looked like he took care of whatever you were running from."

Sakura remembered hot blood on her hands. "Friend?"

Kakashi set aside the book and knelt down next to her bedside. "Well, I suppose you would have questions considering it was your first time manifesting a body for your blade. Sarutobi said you didn't know how to do it yet and that you weren't even practicing it. Also not surprising. He didn't want you to attract more attention than you already had."

Sakura opened her eyes and glared up at Kakashi. "You are making zero sense right now. I'm hungry, I smell, and I hurt all over."

"What an angel."

Sakura braced with her hands on either side of her and moved. Kakashi's one visible eye widened as she pushed herself up, pulling her legs underneath her. He could smell her wounds, bleeding through the bandages as she stood.

"Where is the bath?" she asked through clenched teeth. Her skin was thin and in need of blood to color it.

"This isn't a palace."

Sakura glared dryly back over her shoulder. "Maybe you don't mind the stink, but I'm not an urchin. Bath, now."

"Demanding creature. Fine."

Kakashi stood and led her out of the tiny room into the hallway of a manor that had once been magnificent, but now looked little better than a ghost's dream with punctured rice screens, splintered walls, and holes through the floor every few steps. There were webs hanging like decorations from the rafters and the smell was one of moist dirt and mountain pine.

Sakura inhaled again and picked up on the salt submissive to all other smells. They were in the Kiri mountains, right on the disputed borders between fire and water claimed lands. No wonder the house was such a mess. They were in the middle of no man's land.

Kakashi grabbed the edge of a door and heaved it sideways, grunting as it caught on the track and stuck in places. Debris overhead drifted down with the disturbance. Inside there was a small circular bath and several overturned buckets. Only one was without holes.

"You'll need help pumping water into the bath with your arm like that," Kakashi said, stepping in and grabbing the lid off the bath.

To the side there was a curved arm he lifted and pumped down. A few moments later the first gurgles of brown water burst out. He let that water drain out and waited till the water came through clean before plugging the bottom.

Sakura sat on the side of the tub and began to pull apart the rags she had been left in. Kakashi didn't look up and she didn't disrobe completely, so he had no reason to stop or comment.

"I'll get you some of my things you can change into and then we'll talk. Maybe by then your friend will be back."

Sakura tossed her rags aside, not intending to ever pick them up again. "You mentioned a friend. Is he a ghost?"

"Of a sort. Like I said, we'll talk when you're done. Maybe then you won't want to bite my head off every time I open my mouth."

Kakashi stood and started to tug the screen closed after him when

Sakura looked up, glare gone. "Kakashi." He stopped. "Thank you for doing what you did to save me. You only owed Sarutobi, but you still saved me. You didn't have to."

He smiled over at her and yanked the screen forward over the last obstruction. "Ah, don't think this old man is as heartless as that. What else was I supposed to do when I saw a cute little girl in distress?"

"I haven't been a little girl in years."

"Could have fooled me."

He shut the door behind him and walked away.

Sakura saw the bath was only mostly filled and moved to pump more water into it with her good arm, finding that act taxing after so long asleep. Her strength was lax and it embarrassed her, but the water came all the same and she slipped into the bath with the last bit of her rags still in place, washing her base lawyers with her wounds and her skin. The bath was cold and she was thin, feeling the chill in every corner of her body, from her eyelashes to the roots of her teeth.

There were pine branches coming in through the holes in the wall and Sakura reached for a handful to crush into the water and scent her bath. She used others to brush her body, not caring how most of her skin came away red and raw. There was still blood under her fingernails. Was it her's or Sarutobi's?

Sakura submerged her head under the waters in time to hide the feel of tears on her face. That stupid old man had gone and gotten himself killed. It was his own fault he was where he was and she was where she was right now. It was his fault. She shouldn't waste her tears on him. He didn't deserve them.

Hands penetrated the waters and Sakura saw only blurs as fingers closed around the collar of her under robe and pulled her upwards. She broke the surface choking and coughing, falling and reaching to curl her fingers into something she could yank and twist. She felt something like a body and blinked the water out of her eyes, holding as tightly as her near lame arms let her.

"Who are you?" she coughed, not recognizing the first few features of the character in front of her. He was solid though, so not a ghost.

"Were you trying to kill yourself?"

Sakura spit water out and glared hard at the stranger. "What are you asking? No, I was taking a bath. Who are you, and what do you want?"

He let her go and moved back but Sakura yanked on the front of his shirt and held him in place.

"I asked you a question, boy." She didn't have a dagger but her eyes were sharp enough when they were narrowed. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

He didn't seem disturbed by the glare or her sharp words, but answered her with unguarded eyes as dark as his hair, framed by raven soft lashes curled and pretty like a girl's. He was a beautiful boy with skin as clear and clean as milk, not a flaw in sight.

"I came to see you. I thought you were trying to drown yourself so I made an effort to revive you. Should I not have?"

Sakura let him go and he stepped back, off his knees and off the edge of the tub. He was as tall as her, maybe a hair taller, but he still looked young. Something about him was familiar though. She didn't feel a threat in his presence either.

"I thought I was alone here with Kakashi. Who are you? I'm not going to ask again."

He blinked and his eyes were wide. "I'm Sai. You named me."

Sai was her pretty personal tantou, the one she had started making for the Shogun before falling in love with the tender blade. Her heart seized in her chest when she recognized his voice. She had heard him many times before, as a whisper in her head, coming from the blade she fashioned.

In the stories of magic and demons, there were stories of swords that took on form to fight for their masters, when the bond was strong. There were stories of blades becoming cursed and taking on dreadful new bodies that they used on their own to ravage the land. There were plenty of stories. There were even stories of sages with the power to bring life into mundane things if the spirit of the object was old or pure enough.

What was it Kakashi had said about a friend?

"Sai?" She breathed his name and knew it like a born truth in her heart that she was looking at her tantou made flesh. She remembered hot blood on her hands and the cries of her hunters.

"Are you better now?" he asked, reaching for her shoulder where the bandage was still red. "They hurt you before I could stop them all. You didn't wake up for so long."

"I-I'm sorry I worried you. I'm fine now."

Sakura swallowed and looked the boy over once more, seeing the perfect parts of him with new eyes. He had been her beautiful blade and now he was a beautiful boy. It almost hurt to look at him head on.

"He said the same thing, that I was worried, but I have never felt worry before, so I had nothing to compare the sensation to. I appreciate learning of this new feeling, but do not wish to experience it again. Please do not let yourself become hurt any more."

Sakura thought he sounded like a child and a courtly prince all at once. He was innocent and ignorant, but his words were just as polished and pretty as his face. His voice had been one of her favorites as well as one of the reasons she found herself unable to part with him as a blade.

Slowly, Sakura sat down on the edge of the tub and crossed her good arm over her chest to hold the skin under her wounded shoulder and preserve a bit of her modesty.

Now, some of what Kakashi had said started to make sense. He had said it was her first time manifesting a body for a blade, so he knew about Sai and he knew that she was capable of something she considered strange magic. And what was more, Sarutobi knew, or that's what Kakashi wanted her to believe.

' _Sarutobi said you didn't know how to do it yet and that you weren't even practicing it. Also no surprising. He didn't want you to attract more attention than you already had_.'

"Are you hungry?"

Sakura looked up and saw Sai was staring at her without blinking.

"Sorry, what did you just say?"

"Are you hungry?" Sai repeated. "The scarecrow said you would be hungry when you woke up so I've been catching dinner for you every night, but you never were awake to eat. Will you eat now?"

She wasn't hungry, but she suspected that had more to do with her distraction and the dull pain throughout her body and less with her need to eat. Even if she wasn't hungry, she knew she needed to try and eat something to help build up her strength again.

"I think food would be a good idea. I need something to wear first. Kakashi said he would lend me something to put on. Would you help me with that and see if he left anything outside?"

Sai nodded once before dashing over to the screen door left open from his initial entry. There were clothes folded off to the side on the ground that he picked up and brought back to her. It was a man's simple yukata with a cloth belt and some wooden sandals.

Sakura took the clothes and started to peel her own off, pausing only to see Sai still watching her without blinking. She narrowed her eyes and thought back on the number of times when she worked in the forge without a shirt, or changed when she was alone with a blade. She had never considered that odd, but Sai was made flesh now.

"You can turn around while I get changed and watch to make sure no one else is watching. You're not supposed to watch a girl get changed unless you are married."

Sai nodded slowly and turned to watch the open door. "I understand that you feel differently now. Kakashi said I wasn't supposed to sleep with you anymore either. He said things would be different."

Sakura almost dropped the robe, but caught herself, realizing what he meant. She slept with a blade under her pillow for protection each night. That blade was often Sai.

"It's a little different now that you have a human body," she said, pulling her hair out and letting it drop over her shoulder and turn the fabric damp.

Sakura pieced the folds together and tied it off only to glance over her shoulder and see Sai still watching the doorway. She reached for his elbow to gently turn her back around. He followed her direction without resistance.

"When I was in danger you protected me. I wouldn't be alive without you. Thank you." Sakura pat the side of his face and then reached up to kiss his forehead.

When she pulled away his hand reached for the fabric of her robe and clung there. She stilled, watching his hand before looking to his face, searching out an expression and finding close to nothing. Sai looked distant, refusing to meet her stare.

"I don't like not being able to touch you anymore. You always had me at your side or in your hand or close to you. I… don't like being parted from you."

Once more, he sounded like a child and a prince at once, clinging to his mother and whispering words suited for pearls and palaces.

Sakura reached for his arm hesitantly, folding it over her good arm the way she had seen court ladies do. "This better?"

He nodded mutely.

She found Kakashi in one of the more sturdy rooms of the manor, one without holes in the floor and a working door. There was still a cloth mask stuck to the bottom half of his face, but she could see the outline of a smile there when he saw Sai on her arm.

"He found you. I didn't think it would be long. He's been little better than a pest with you out cold. Still, I think he did well enough in catching rabbit and elderberry, so let's talk more over that, shall we?"

Kakashi stood to retrieve the food but Sakura felt like she couldn't wait. "You knew."

Kakashi paused and watched her, waiting to hear more.

"You knew what I could do, what I was. Did Sarutobi tell you I could make human swords?"

"No…but he told me he had a sage he wanted to watch and see if her powers ever actually developed to  _that_  stage. She could hear their voices, he told me, and she made some of the best damn swords he had ever seen because of it."

"A sage. I've heard of those only in stories. I thought those were like the monks who dedicated their life to the arcane arts and learned magic."

"Close. Sages can be monks, but we have stories that talk about them being able to hear what is unheard, see what is unseen, and do the impossible. They could hear the spirits of the dead of the constructed, and manifest them in flesh. Sarutobi wasn't a sage himself, but he did teach one other who could hear and manifest bodies out of his swords.

"Another like me? I've never heard of such a person. I thought if such a power existed it would be far more famous in story and lore. Why have I never heard it spoken of?"

Kakashi held up a finger and slipped out of the room. Sai tugged Sakura to a seat at the low table in the center of the room and he pulled the cleanest, firmest pillow for her to rest atop. When Kakashi came back it was with a basket of salted rabbit, elderberries, and a pot of rice.

"Eat first," he said, setting the foods down.

Sakura found her appetite to be a vicious thing the moment the first grain of rice was on her tongue. She felt her emptiness in full with the first mouthful swallowed. Sai didn't touch the food, but Kakashi ate across from her.

"You seem to be doing well with Sai so far. You're believing in all of this very well," Kakashi said with a smile as he pulled out his peace colored book and flipped to a new page. "You're not asking me if it's a trick."

"I know it's my Sai, I've heard his voice in my head for months. I would recognize it anywhere," Sakura said around a mouthful of rice that stuck to her chin.

Sai ducked his head and leaned into her side a little more.

"How cute. Do you regret only taking a single tantou now? If you had grabbed a Katana or some other blade in addition to Sai you would have have twice as many loyal in your service."

Sakura paused in her eating. "What do you mean?"

Kakashi nodded at Sai. "Look at him. He's a puppy. You tell him to jump he'll ask how high. It's what made Sages such a dangerous threat to anyone in power, especially someone who could forge their own swords. You could make a fanatically loyal army more skilled than any woman-born one."

"Is that why I've never heard of any other sages before?"

"At the first sign, most are killed outright. The ones that manage to survive to adulthood must be dealt with like devils, with deals and mansions. At least, that's what our Shogun believes when it comes to Orochimaru."

Sakura felt a cold pit in her chest. "That snake is a sage too?"

"He was the first sage Sarutobi ever found, and the old monkey taught the snake all he could, holding back nothing. You can guess what happened next, as the story should be plain enough. When it came to you, Sarutobi knew the voices you heard meant you could do what Orochimaru could do, but he wasn't about to repeat the same mistake twice."

"Sarutobi never told me any of this. I knew he suspected when it came to the voices…but…." Sakura set her spoon down and started off, trying to remember clues that could help her understand. "He never wanted me around when Orochimaru came back to visit. It was only twice, but he was…mean about it. It wasn't like Sarutobi to be mean, least not like that."

"Orochimaru turned out to be a monster."

"But he did nothing to stop him. He didn't tell me or others, and in the end that's why my master is dead and I'm here in a foreign country." Sakura fisted her hands under the table. "I could have done something."

"There was nothing you could have done to stop someone as powerful as Sarutobi's first apprentice. His swords made flesh would have killed you outright. Sarutobi hid you as long as he could, but in the end even he couldn't out trick the snake." Kakashi paused to observe her expressions more closely before continuing. "Still, that's no reason to blame yourself or him for all of this. Call evil what it is. The one to blame is none other than Orochimaru."

Sakura reached for the jug of sake that had remained untouched atop the table and drank straight from it, passing over the need for a cup. She stared straight back at Kakashi while she drank until the small jug was empty. She pretended not to notice the way his eyebrows rose like he was impressed with her ability to drink. It was a useless skill that lost her more money than it was worth.

"Now what?" She asked. Sakura set the empty jug down and let it tip sideways from the sloppy set down. It rolled until it hit her plate and stopped there.

"Now what?" Kakashi echoed.

"Now what do you want of me? You save me for the sake of goodness? I might have believed that if I was ten years younger or a little prettier, but I'm not that little girl anymore. You want to use me for something, don't you?"

Kakashi grinned through his mask, believing in the keen glint in her eyes more than the doubt in his heart. She was as clever as the old man said she would be. Maybe she would be clever enough for the snake.

"Is there something you want to do?"

"Yeah, I want to make swords and I want to live. Even if you let me keep making swords, you're going to ask me to do something else that paints a bigger target on my back, aren't ya?" Sakura pointed over her shoulder at Sai. "Like make more little boy soldiers for a power grab."

"A power grab is such a petty way of putting it."

Sakura's eyes narrowed further. "Call evil what it is."

The taste of his own words thrown back at him made Kakashi consider his position a bit more carefully. Sakura wasn't emotional now. He wouldn't be able to use her grief or make use of her drive for vengeance because neither existed. Manipulating her would be difficult.

"Then would you like to make swords without having to run and hide everywhere you went? If you wanted to touch a forge again you would have to sail off this continent, and where would that land you? You think they buy many swords in the Demon Lands?"

"And you think it would be safer to stay here, in the ghost lands?" Sakura eyed the empty sake jug. "Living off what…bugs and rainwater?"

"Hardly. This may not look like a palace now, but once our finances start coming in-"

"Our finances?"

Kakashi's grin was playful but the book remained closed on the table. "I'd be helping with the details and the connections in this operation. It's only natural that I be taken care of as well."

"You need to do better if you're trying to convince me of anything," Sakura said.

"Do I need to?" Kakashi tapped the table and then pointed at Sakura. "You owe me your life. Without me the elements or the river would have killed you. If not those, then your wounds. You needed the medicine I gave you. You needed shelter, which I also gave you. You needed a place to rest, which I gave….you guessed it…to you."

"You think too well of me. I was never known as being a woman of honor. What you did you did for selfish reasons so sell it a little bit better."

Kakashi leaned in. "He was right about you, but he's not the only one that can see through a person's facade. You're not a good person, but maybe that's exactly what I need. I am your best chance at your best life. You will have no peace beyond these mists. I can at least make one of your desires come true. What will you give for that?"

Sakura looked down at the table with the empty jug of sake, the empty plate, the scratches and the gouges in the wood, and the stains on the surface.

"You planning on overthrowing the Shogun?"

"We have someone in mind for his seat. Danzo has been in power too long and Orochimaru could stand to lose his head from his shoulders if we could be so lucky. That too much for you?"

Sakura stretched her hands out, feeling the joints between each bone in her fingers. There was an ache to use her hands for a purpose she couldn't explain with just words. Her body needed to be a part of the creation of beauty and, for good or evil, she wanted to toil in a forge once more.

"Sakura?"

She looked at the sound of her name and saw Kakashi watching her with a keenness that was almost smug. It was nearly enough to make her deny him out of spite.  _Nearly_.

Beside her, Sai sat silent.

"Where is the forge?"

* * *

 


	2. Part 2

The forge was on the edge of the manor's property, but the next day found Sakura further south, where the salt was in the air and the weather was a blind man's guess. They were waiting for a contact in the Kiri government to visit them at the safe house Kakashi was told to use.

That had been four days ago and Sakura's wounds were still sore, but not as ugly to look at. She felt well enough to go out and be something other than a burden to the scarecrow looking pervert that was taking care of her at every turn.

Sakura reached into the water and pulled out the clam, it was fat and puckered enough to be worth eating later. She tossed it into the box and went back into the tide pool to find another. There was more than one person she needed to find food for. Even if Kakashi could probably take care of himself, Sakura now had a mouth of her own to be responsible for.

As if her thoughts summoned him, Sakura heard the footsteps behind her and turned to see the youth with eyes as black as a blade's hilt and hair just as dark. He wasn't wearing shoes...again.

"I told you it's cold in this part of the country, your toes are cold," she chastised.

Sakura shook her hands out of the water and then wiped them on the edge of the peasant smock tied around her waist. Her hands were still cold but the callouses were thick enough from years of labor to keep that sort of pain layered away. Sai didn't have those callouses yet.

She reached for him and set her foot beside his to eyeball the size before unwrapping her cloth sandals. His blinked once before turning his head to the side and squinting at her work.

"What are you doing?" Sai asked. "You implied I was foolish again, yet you are copying me now. Why?"

Sakura grumbled before stepping out of her shoes into the sog of mud just above the beaches. Her toes hated the feel of it, but like her hands, they would survive the cold better than his.

"Give me your foot, idiot," she grumbled, reaching for his ankle.

He complied and she began to wrap her shoe around his foot, tying it up tight to keep it from being a hindrance. She reached for his other ankle without a word and repeated the action until he was standing in shoes on both feet.

"I see what you did," he said.

"Good that you're learning, because I don't like walking home like this. Come on, you can help carry these for me," Sakura said while handing off the small box filled with clams.

Sai picked it up easily and turned to follow her back.

A figure in the mists made Sakura stop. She grabbed Sai and tugged him behind her and squared her shoulders. She wasn't taller than Sai but she thought she might look more intimidating than a slight boy with eyelashes too long to not be envious of.

"Hello," the figure greeted kindly, waving to the both of them.

Sakura saw too quickly the lack of equipment or supply that would explain what she was doing out in the middle of seemingly nowhere. She was well dressed too. She didn't look like a laborer.

"Are you lost?" Sakura called out. "You look out of place."

The woman raised a single brow. "And you look surrounded, or did you not notice?"

Sakura's attention jumped and she whipped her sight around her to spot four, five, no, six different figures on the edges of the mists. She was too well dressed to travel without protection and in the land of mists, she of course had assassins who could step through the fog with death steps.

Sakura heard Sai draw the tantou that represented his original body, back when he had been a blade. Sakura reached back to grab his wrist and stop him. She didn't want things to escalate to that point.

"What do you want?" Sakura called out.

"A greeting would be nice. Don't be rude." The woman stepped forward, drawing closer but her shadows didn't move.

"Hello," Sakura ground out. "Did you come here to kill me?"

The woman frowned, blinking widely as if the thought had surprised her. "Kill you? I should hope not. You're my golden ticket to a better tomorrow, girl. Didn't that old scarecrow tell you about me?"

Sakura swallowed. "Kakashi? He doesn't talk much."

The woman pouted and crossed her arms. "What a lay-about. What is he good for anymore now that his pretty face is always covered?" She shook her head and then pointed to herself. "I am Mei Terumi, and you're in my country."

Sakura had made swords for Daimyos before, but never for the Shogun of Kiri. Sarutobi, however, had once told her he had heard of one of SAkura's blades ending up on the hip of one of Mei's most loyal. After that, Mei had sent inquiries for a custom Uchigatana, but never filed an official commission. Kiri was notorious for their swords, and never sought out smiths from other countries. Kiri was a different country, after all.

"Shit," Sakura hissed under her breath.

"Don't look too panicked, I'm not Danzo and I don't want you dead. I'm not stupid enough to kill the most beautiful artists in the world. We will never weep enough to honor Sarutobi adequatly. I'm just glad we were able to save you."

"You're the powerful friend Kakashi was talking about?" Sakura guessed. "You're the one giving us materials to forge?"

"If I feel like it. Are you worth it?"

"Likely not. I'm not a machine that makes swords for war like spun sugar. You want a massive army, I can't give that to you. Sorry." Sakura thought absently that she should have probably tried to be nicer to one of the most powerful rulers in all the five nations, but…no one ever accused her of being wise.

"I like you. You're snappier than Sarutobi. I can see why he wouldn't let me meet with you. I'm not eager enough for a full on war with the Country of Fire, but that hasn't stopped their units from making skirmishes on my side of the border. They've become greedy and I need something extra to push back with. Kakashi said that might be you."

"I don't know how. I just make the blades, I can't use them."

Mei tilted her chin up and smiled at Sai. " _He_  seems to be doing well enough for himself. Shall we test it?"

Sakura felt fear in her gut but before she could do anything the men in the mist were gone and then they were back, close enough to touch. Sai pushed Sakura to the earth and flickered out of the way of a downward strike. Sakura bit mud and spit out dirt, rubbing it off her teeth as she rolled onto her back and looked up.

Sai was pulling his tantou out of the gut of one of Mei's men before flickering away and coming up under a different guard. Sakura watched with wide eyes as another man went down in a gush of red from a cut arteries, greedy for release.

She screamed out his name but he dodged under a swinging blade and rolled backwards, behind the man. There was a clang from when their blades met, but Sai twisted out of the lock and cut at the man's hand.

"That's enough!" Mei shouted out. The men who had been circling Sai dropped their blades and backed away. Two stayed dead on the ground.

Sakura cursed again under her breath. Sai appeared at her side in an instant and reached to tug her up out of the mud, more concerned about the stains on her smock than the blood on his skin.

"You have a fine blade in your service. He's more than just a pretty face."

Sakura looked over her shoulder at the woman with hair as long as her skirts. Mei smiled and there was something dangerous about the curve of her lips.

"But you needed to see that for yourself?" Sakura huffed, bracing on her knee to stand. The stitches in her side still hurt, but didn't pop. Her skin was starting to knit back together.

"More than just me needed to see that."

She laughed and pointed to a man who had one eye covered by a patch of black silk. His sword was drawn, but he had hung back. He frowned down at the bodies on the ground and then looked up at Mei before finally glancing over at Sakura and Sai. He was taller than her and looked like what one would expect of a Samurai in terms of posture, but not in terms of armor. He wore too little and moved too fast.

Sakura's eyes went to the sword in his hand and she swallowed to keep her throat from going dry. She recognized the size and shape of Chōjūrō like it was yesterday. It was good to see a blade she made so well taken care of.

"You didn't think it was a little unfair how Sai was outnumbered?" Sakura huffed. She threw back her shoulders and leaned into her words.

"He's beautiful and fierce. You should be proud of your work. I think we can leave some of our treasures with you. Kakashi said it would be awhile before you could forge because of your wounds, but there shouldn't be a reason you can't be a sage, is there? I'm not sure how that works."

"That makes two of us. I wasn't in the best state of mind when I…when Sai appeared, and I really don't know how to repeat something like that." Sakura spared a sideways glance at the men who had stood down but not yet retreated. "I'm really just good for forging."

"I doubt that."

Sakura felt exposed, like the fleshy parts of her were bared for the end of a blade. It wasn't a good feeling and she bared her teeth to fight it.

Mei smiled once more and then waved a hand at the man beside her before turning and walking away, back into the mist. She called back once over her shoulder before she was out of sight.

"I'll leave my treasures with Kakashi and you can do what you like with the metal. He'll have more information on how you can be useful enough for more."

Then she was gone.

That night Kakashi brought back with him a wooden case almost as long and tall was he was but he said he would only open it once they were back at the manor. They left that night and trekked through the dark until it was dawn and then noon and then dusk.

Sakura was too tired and thin to pester him any more that day. She slept as soon as they returned and stayed asleep all through the night and into the next morning.

When she woke it was to the smell of bacon, of all things.

"A gift from Mei. It's enough for a few meals, but if you're able to be a little more impressive maybe we can eat like this again."

Sakura looked up and saw Kakashi in the doorway with a bowl of rice held up in one hand and his peach colored book in the other. He was looking at the pages and not at her, but she knew he was listening.

"Impressive how? I don't know how the hell she wants me to make more…" her words trailed as she looked to Sai and remember how cold her toes had been coming home. He was watching her with wide eyes, absorbing everything.

"Don't worry about that," he said. Kakashi had caught the reason for her fault in speech. "Sai is a young blade, never having been wielded by anyone other than yourself, so he is a bit unaware of how the world works. The blades Mei left us with are far older. Would you like to see?"

Kakashi pressed a bowl of rice, topped with egg and bacon, into her hands and moved to the back of the room where the case from yesterday waited.

Sakura watched, eating her breakfast with her fingers and not caring for manners. Kakashi set the case down on the table and unlocked each end before lifting back the lid and exposing the pair of intimidating Odachi inside.

"Shit, they're huge," Sakura swore. "Who would be able to use such things?"

"Not many. They're treasures, apparently, but the military isn't what it once was and the two lances are dead weight, she said. We're not supposed to tell anyone about this though, since they are…relics. Mei would get in trouble for it."

"What am I supposed to do?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi shrugged and then waved a hand over the blades. "Get to know them? Do what you did with Sai? How should I tell you anything you don't already know?"

"I don't think it'll work. Sai was…is-was- a blade I forged myself. I've always heard his voice because I was the one who pieced him together. I had a bond with Sai. These blades are strangers to me."

"Ah, Sarutobi said it would be easy after doing it once. I guess he didn't account for you being nearly dead when you did it the first time. You don't remember how to do it?" Kakashi asked. He looked up from his pages to watch her answer.

Sakura frowned down at the bottom of her bowl, finding it too soon. She was still hungry. "I don't think I'll be able to. I don't know them." She held out her bowl. "More rice please."

Sai took her bowl when Kakashi just stared at it, expression baleful. Kakashi's didn't move an inch for her. Sai took her bowl out to where the rice had been served and scooped more for her while Kakashi turned a page in his book.

"Don't make the mistake. I'm not your servant here. If you can't do this much we'll be eating bugs."

"Old pervert," Sakura muttered.

She took the bowl back from Sai and kicked at Kakashi's side until he moved. She sat down in front of the two swords and listened for their voices. She had the sensation of their voices, but neither blade was in the talking mood. She _could_ hear them, they just weren't talking.

She gripped the hilt of the first one and raised it from the box, wincing at the weight. It was long and heavy and a little too grand to wild effectively. It was the opposite of Sai, short and fast.

There were only broken doors to the outside, so Sakura carried the Odachi out to the inner courtyard where there was enough room to move it off her shoulder and into her hand. She used her good arm, the one with all the strength and none of the stitches.

While she was no samurai, Sakura knew a bit of the theory on how to use blade and she had practiced with plenty enough to know when the blade was sharp enough to sing and the metals balanced enough to scream. She wasn't a samurai, but one thing Sakura was proud of was her strength. She was made for a hammer and could out-lifit most men.

Sakura used only one hand to swing the Odachi, turning it over in midair and bringing it down in front of her, only to stop it perfectly straight out in front of her, keeping it from dropping in spite of it's weight. She held it there for a few more seconds and then repeated the swing.

' _Tell me your name.'_

She swung and stopped, swung and stopped. She reversed her position and swung again, and again and again, chaining the movements together until the weight was carrying the blade through a series of attacks. Then she stopped. One of her arms hung limp at her side but her other arm held the Odachi level.

' _Speak to me_ ,' Sakura urged.

Sakura practiced stances and swings with the sword until her arm couldn't take it anymore and she retired it back to the case. There were oils and cleaning papers at one end that she pulled out. On the edge of the porch she cared for each blade, one after the other, cleaning and polishing them both.

She couldn't hear their voices, but she thought she could feel their emotions in a different way. They seemed pleased by the care and attention, and enjoyed the practice. She meditated on the swords, trying to hear their voices and knowing it had been a long time since anyone last benefited from their beauty.

She practiced for several days with no change.

A cold cloth on the side of her face made Sakura jerk out of her musing and look up at Sai. His expression was hard to decipher, but she thought he looked worried.

"You shouldn't do so much or else you may injure yourself further. I think your wounds need more time to heal."

"I'm fine. Thank you, Sai."

Sakura took the wet cloth and dabbed at the sweat across her brows. It was cool out but her body was warm from pushing it with the first Odachi. She could feel the sweat on her back under her clothing.

"You don't need to push yourself. I don't like it." He sat down on the edge of the porch beside her. "Those are not even blades you made so why are you trying to have a relationship with them?"

"It's a little harder when they're not blades I've made myself, but I still feel like I care for these swords now. I've practiced with them so much that I think I know them both well enough to pick them out blind. I miss the voices of blades. I was always surrounded by it, I forgot what this sort of silence felt like."

"You can hear me, and I know you can hear Kakashi's blades."

"His swords all sound like dogs, they don't count," Sakura laughed.

"His blades are not as fine as the ones you have made, that is true."

Sakura stared down at the Odachi on her lap and felt a longing in her heart. "This is such a beautiful sword, I wish I could make something this impressive now. It's been too long since I was in a forge, but even if I had access to metals, I was not very good at long swords."

"You did well enough with me."

Sakura smiled at Sai and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "You're the most beautiful tantou I ever made."

"I'm the most beautiful tantou ever," he corrected, ducking his head. He glanced up through his bangs at her. "And you made me. I don't think you need other swords."

"Kakashi said we needed to do jobs to earn our meat. Mei has left several different C class missions and a few D class missions, but I don't want to send you alone anywhere."

Kakashi had been passive aggressive about how he didn't want to go out on his own with only Sai to finish any missions left for them. He would complain loudly about wishing he had someone or something else to help him out.

"I'll go out with Kakashi tomorrow and it won't be alone. You don't need to worry about not getting your meat because I'll bring back some with the allowance. Will that make you happy?"

"Meat always makes me happy!" Sakura laughed. "Sake too."

Sai frowned. "That's expensive. We would have to do more than one mission for that woman if you wanted both."

Sakura hummed. "Yeah, I know. Sorry for making silly requests. Don't worry about it."

"If I can bring back both will you let me sleep next to you again?" Sai asked, voice raising with the question.

Sakura flushed but forced herself to smile. "Uh, Sai, we talked about this. You're not a tantou anymore, you're a human male and…and I'm a woman. Sleeping next to a woman isn't proper."

"I don't understand that. It wasn't bad when you hid me under your pillow." He hunched his shoulders and turned his face to look down. "Also, it is cold at night and I know you're warm. I want to sleep beside you."

Sakura groaned, hating how she felt like a bad guy for how pitiful he looked. It made her heart hurt. "Fine," she relented. "If you can bring back both I'll let you…sleep in the same room as me I guess. Just don't tell Kakashi about it, because then he'll be annoying about it. I'm already that much older than you."

A few hours later the pair left and Sakura was alone, staring at the twilight sky with one of the Odachi resting on her shoulder. She was alone and she was hoping tonight one of the voices would reach her.

'Speak to me. Tell me your name. Tell me anything, please.'

Neither used their voices, but she knew-she just knew-that they could hear her and were aware of her. They were older than any sword she had held or worked with before, so she wondered if that had something to do with it.

Sakura closed her eyes and tried to hear their voices, talking to them about anything and everything. There was only silence to greet her.

She was about to give up for the night and head back inside when something made her pause.

Words.

She had to strain, but Sakura could hear voices making words that she could understand.

'We must be quiet and we must be swift. We must strike true and not take long.'

There was ice in her spine as she turned and rolled the Odachi off her shoulder and into her hand to wield. The voice didn't come from either of her blades, but it did come from a blade….one far younger and drawing closer.

'Kill her, kill her and go home, kill her…'

Sakura turned and saw a figure drop into the courtyard and stand among the weeds, a blade in his hand just as thirsty for her blood as the assassin wielding it.

"A houseguest," Sakura cooed, playing off her nervousness. "How did you find me?"

The figure was alone at least. There were no other voices nearby.

"There is no one better at tracking than me. You'll die and buy me my manor from Orochimaru."

He darted forward and Sakura swung, but Sakura was not a samurai.

' _I don't want to die here!'_

Her Odachi caught his shorter blade and she carried through with the swing, surprising her attacker with her show of strength and pushing him back off her blade. He was surprised enough to give her an opening she took advantage of. She readied for the thrust, but by the time she moved he was already recovered and turning out of the way. She was too slow with too long a blade. Sakura cursed as he came for her again. She spun out of the way, twisting with the Odachi.

She heard his blade sing as it cut the air close to her face, but she leaned out of the swipe. She lost a hair in the swing, seeing it sever from the rest of the strand.

She cursed over and over in her head, knowing she was outmatched. She was strong, but she wasn't swift. She wasn't fast, either.

She felt her skip separate when the sword cut through her, even if it was shallow cut. She staggered and blood ran freely and red over her front. She couldn't stay upright, for whatever reason, and her heel caught the dirt and she tumbled backwards.

She saw the shadow loom and her head was screaming with the same thought, loud and clear.

' _I don't want to die here!_ '

The blade burned in her hand and she screamed as Kisame reached forward to bring the pommel of his sword down on the head of the would be assassin. There were still sparks in their air from his manifestation when he roared and swung again, a wicked wild glint to his eyes as he moved with the swiftness of a killer.

There was a strangled cry and then plenty of blood as an artery was struck and then a head let loose to roll across the grounds. Behind him the sky was burning with the last rays of sun making the blood all the more vibrant. Kisame laughed and raised his sword above his head. No, the sword was him. He was the sword.

What had happened?

"I'm so glad you figured that out, finally," he laughed, turning his back to the headless man and grinning down at Sakura. "I've been wanting to let loose for  _decades_."

Sakura gaped. Kisame was huge, tower taller than any many she had ever seen, taller than Kakashi by almost a foot. His skin was a pale blue like the color of his blue mokumegane steel, but his eyes were ink black in all the places she expected to see other colors. He blinked and a film slid off his eyes and he looked human again.

"Kisame? You're not an odachi anymore," Sakura gasped. "How…?"

"Oi, didn't you know? You're the one that did it, princess. Plus, I'm still an odachi, look here, I just have a human body thanks to you. Eh, I guess I won't complain since I wasn't really that pretty as a sword either. At least I'm big!" He threw his head back and laughed, obviously delighted with himself.

"I really hope this isn't a habit, me having to have my life in danger to summon swords into bodies," Sakura moaned, starting to tilt sideways. Her old wounds ached now that the adrenaline was gone.

She couldn't help it, but grunted in pain and started to fall back down to her knees. A warm hand around her waist stopped her and she instinctively grabbed onto his arm before looking up at Kisame. He was grinning down at her still.

"Hey, it's sorta nice to be the one doing the holding this time, but you gotta be careful. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

Without waiting for her answer, he leaned over and pulled her up into his arms, cradling her easily. He was careful not to touch the front of her where a long angry line made her skin bleed. It was shallow enough to not need stitches, but it bled enough to make his smile fall off.

"It's just old wounds bothering me," Sakura admitted around a yawn. She reached up and pulled the pieces of her front together to help protect her modesty.

Kisame grunted, looking away from the places where red stained her robes and instead staring at her face. "I've not been a human long, but I know a thing or two about humans because of how long I've been around them. You're tired all over and need to be taken care of. Here, let's find the bath and get you cleaned up."

Sakura absently thought it was comical how easily he carried her in his arms. She was tiny compared to him. Sakura worried there would be places in the manor that were too small for him to fit through with his hulking frame.

"I'm kinda tired," Sakura yawned again. "I'm sure this is nothing. Just set me down in my room and I'll be good."

Her eyes felt heavy and she thought she was going to fall asleep until she fell into a tub of water. The shock made her jolt and the weariness was chased away as she thrashed and sputtered in the cold water that was both old and forgotten.

Sakura grabbed the sides of the tub and stared up, eyes wide with confusion and accusation. Kisame chuckled and scratched the back of his head before apologizing.

"Sorry, I didn't know it was cold. Here, use this to wash off the blood," he said.

Sakura took the cloth and shivered before turning around and wiping the blood away from the cut down her front. It had already stopped bleeding and the thin line was crusted over and hard with a streak of dried blood to act as a band aid. She wouldn't even need to bind it except to hide it. She grimaced at the sight. She was ugly.

"Kisame, there should be dry clothes in my bedroom. Do you know where to go to get them?" Sakura asked, glancing back over her shoulder at the sword made man who hadn't left like any other person would have.

"Oh yeah, sure I think I can do that. Hang on, I'll be back in a second."

When he was out the door Sakura turned quickly and pulled herself up out of the bath, shivering at cold of the evening air in made more bitter when she was wet. She started to peel her ruined things off and grabbed a sheet meant to hang as a divider and provide privacy. She used the towels left behind to wipe herself dry and then cover herself up with. She was wiping her face when she heard him step back in with her sleeping clothes.

Sakura looked up and frowned when she saw him standing stiffly in the doorway, looking no better than a deer caught in the lamplights. Her things were in his hand, but he was too stiff to extend his arm and offer them to her.

"Here, give me those," Sakura said, taking her things out of his hand and shuffling awkwardly back to a corner with some little privacy left. "You're supposed to turn around and not look when a woman does this. I get that you're just newly human and swords don't have this sense of propriety, but now you're a man and I'm a woman and you're not supposed to see me like this."

"Like what?" he asked, still staring.

Sakura huffed in agitation. "Without my clothes on. It's indecent."

"I-I know that! I may be just a sword but I remember plenty from when I was around humans being used. I-I-I know this much. I was just tr-t-checking to make sure you were okay and not more hurt." Kisame couldn't meet her eyes as his cheeks flushed with a pink purple color. He stiffly turned on his heel to face the other way. "I'm looking away now!" he yelled.

Sakura let herself chuckle at his awkwardness as she dropped the towel and dressed as quickly as possible. Her hair was still wet and making her shoulders damp, but she was no longer dripping. There were more blankets in her bedroom she could warm up with and maybe even a fire.

She sneezed loudly and held her face, sniffling in the cold. Kisame started to turn towards her but stopped. "Are you okay?" he asked, sounding worried.

"Yeah, just…" Sakura sniffed loudly again. "Yeah I'm just a little cold. I have more blankets in my room I can warm up with. I'm fine so you can turn around now."

"You're shivering."

Kisame sounded worried when he turned around to look her over. She heard him curse as he leaned down and reached for her. Sakura didn't fight it when he pulled her closer and pressed her to his chest. He was radiating heat in spite of his half open shirt.

One arm was through a sleeve and the other flapped limply at his waist without definition. It was an old, old fashion she remembered from the history books on Kiri. It was interesting to see what a sword made man came into the world wearing. There was a leather strap that ran under his dominant arm that connected to a brace meant to hold his Odachi self. The sword was too long to sheath so it hooked into a holster and came unhooked when he drew it.

"Come here," he said, holding her and leading her to her room where her bed had been left in a mess.

She hadn't seen the sense in cleaning it when it would only become messy latter. Her mother had told her she would never be a good housewife because of such bad habits, but that never bothered Sakura because she knew she would be a swordsmith for as long as she was left alive. She didn't need to impress anyone with her domestic skills.

Sakura pulled away from Kisame and dove for her covers, realizing that they were not as warm as she would have wished them to be once she was under them. Her hair was still wet and sticking to her face along with her water thick lashes. Kisame ambled in after her and sat down next to her bed on the floor and helped pull up her covers.

"You should have some animal skins around here, somewhere," he gruffly commented. "Are they in another room?"

Sakura sneezed again. "No, we sold them for food. I think we only have the rabbit skin left, but Kakashi said he wanted to sew it in as a liner to his jacket so…I think he's wearing it now.

Kisame cursed again. "They just left you here like this? Where's the fire?"

Sakura pointed into the corner of the room where a small circular stove sat with a black lid punctured with holes. Kisame pulled it over and pulled back the lid to see the space meant for logs left empty.

"Firewood?" he asked.

"Back of the house. I split some yesterday." Her eyes were heavy but she managed to point in the direction of the woodpile.

Kisame was up and running before she could drop her hand. Seconds later she heard him again, climbing up onto the porch and then ambling into her room with a small handful of half split logs that would fit into the tiny stove. He dropped a few in and then reached for the match sticks left alongside the stove in the corner. Breathing heavily to stoke the flames, Sakura peeked one eye open to see him nursing a small fire onto the mostly dry logs.

"Everything in this damn country is wet," he complained when the logs caught fire so slowly.

Sakura laughed from under the covers and Kisame's gaze switched back to her. She made sure to grin when he saw her. "Thank you for taking care of me. It's really alright. I would have been fine."

"You just brought me to life and was nearly split open like a ham and those others just left you here alone. You know they say that sages are real powerful people, but they never mention anything about the exhaustion you must go through after bringing a sword like myself to life. And not to brag, but I'm a pretty big deal of a sword, so I can't imagine that was a walk in the park for you, princess."

Sakura laughed again, curling up under the covers. "Yeah, you were a pretty big deal. It took so long before I could finally hear your voice. Why was that? Why couldn't I hear you or Zabuza?"

Kisame rubbed the back of his neck and the purple pink blush was back in place. "Ah, well that wasn't your fault. We were…left alone for so long, we sorta just stopped talking on our own and it was hard to start up again, especially when we were both pissed about not being used. Zabuza and I were just a little moody…but I'm not anymore! I'm sorry I didn't say anything. When you started taking care of us again I was really happy. I didn't know what to say after that, especially when I knew you were listening."

"Ah, that's good then. I was afraid I couldn't hear the voices anymore."

Kisame grinned and reached over to poke the center of her forehead. "I'm pretty sure you could, because any time you held us and talked to us, even in your head, we could hear it. It made me happy to be used again."

"Sorry I'm not a samurai. I've always been better at making swords than at using them."

"Hey, you could lift me. It was nice just being held if you know what it's like to sit and collect dust for generations like a relic. I liked it when you practiced and polished us. And I know Zabuza is more of a grump than I am, but he appreciates it too, he's just slower to trust people."

Sakura hummed and snuggled into her covers more. "Once I'm feeling better I'll be able to lift either of you no problem. I'm used to working in a forge and moving heavy things." She yawned and it almost turned into a sneeze, but she stifled it.

Kisame nudged the fire closer and scooted in closer himself. "I wasn't joking about the drain a sage has to go through to summon a sword though. I already said I'm a big deal. You probably are plenty tired. Can I get you some food from around here or something."

Sakura felt herself blush when she remembered there really wasn't any food left aside from rice that needed to be cooked. "I'm not hungry, but I'm tired. I think I'll sleep, but…would you keep watch and make sure more guys don't try to come. I thought we were safe here before, but I was wrong."

"Yeah, well, you can thank you friends for that one, they were sloppy about their coming and goings. I don't think anyone else will be coming tonight, otherwise they would have moved in when they saw you fighting the other guy, but of course I'll keep watch. I'll do a better job of it than those other guys, too."

"Thanks. I'm glad."

Kisame huffed and scooted back along the mats until he sat on the edge of her bed roll. His back was close enough that the heat from it could be felt even through her covers. Sakura unconsciously gravitated towards it. She was half asleep when she realized she had curled up along and around his back like a pill bug in her blankets. When she looked up through her lashes she caught the edge of his grin and realized he didn't mind. That was the last thing she remembered before falling asleep, curled around the base of his back and finally warm.

She awoke once in the night, forced into wakefulness by something sharp in her chest. A pounding heart made her stir, she later realized. Blinking quickly she started to push herself up and looked to see Kisame was still in the same spot he had been in when she first fell asleep. A longer strand of her hair was caught widely between his fingers as he rubbed it between his index and thumb while watching the world outside her room.

At night when colors bled away and the world adopted highlights of silver from a full and heavy moon, Kisame looked almost like a blade again. He had a human face with eyes, a nose, and mouth, but he was all harsh edges in his high cheekbones and a serrated grin.

He felt her move and turned to glance down at her. Seeing her still half asleep he grinned and pulled up the covers so they were tightly tucked under her chin. He said something too but Sakura's head was full of cotton and she couldn't make it out, even though the night was swollen with silence.

She heard it when she spoke though.

"I'm glad you're here."

Then she was asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely comments that let me know you're enjoying this. Yes, this is a repost of an older story but I'm updating it and there will be a more, ahem, 'adult' dream scene that I cut. So you have that to look forward to.


	3. Chapter 3

Kisame was trying to figure out how he got so lucky. He hadn't been a lucky blade per say. He had one or two masters who could actually hold him and use him out of the half dozen who actually owned him as a property piece. He hadn't thought himself lucky when he was hung on a wall and admired as dust collected along his frame. He hadn't thought himself lucky when he was left in the body of his enemies after his first master died. He had nearly rusted inside that corpse before being salvaged, cleaned, and put away for a time. He hadn't been lucky for most of his career, but he thought that might not matter now.

How many swords were lucky enough to become human and gain free will?

He understood so many things now that he had hands, things he had known but never  _understood_. There was a difference there, he realized. He knew what it meant to swing, now he understood what a swing was. It was an amazing experience that would likely trip him up if he thought about it too long.

He was lucky to have this life, but also lucky to be where he was.

His sage was adorable and he admired her right away. She had taken his size and weight and used him without hesitation, despite her status. She wasn't a samurai, clearly, but that didn't stop her. He and Zabuza both felt the wind again as a single hand formed the thrusts many started training with. She had practiced with them, and even cleaned them.

But it was her words, her trying to talk to them that really made them lucky. Like his partner in the box, Kisame had gone nonverbal years ago when it became clear they would be nothing more than relics on a wall. It was a bitter resignation that made both swords lock up their voices. There was no one around to hear them anyway. What difference did it make?

_'Tell me your name.'_

_'Speak to me.'_

It was tempting to believe in her, to be sure, but they had been bitter for decades and that wasn't undone in a couple of days. Neither of them wanted to believe in her only to be put back in a box again. There was talk about her being a sage which both believed, since they could hear her voice the same way they could hear the voices of other swords, but that didn't mean much. Most sages died before they even realized what they were.

The fact that she went on for days, taking care of them and speaking to them did a lot to lower their walls, Kisame's more so than Zabuza's, but that was because he was just naturally more inclined to like pretty young girls with smiles like wildflowers and legs like tree trunks that stretched for miles. Also, the fact that she could hold him one-handed did wonders for winning him over.

_'I don't want to die.'_

He remembered hearing that thought, loud and clear, and feeling it. It might as well have been his thought for how attached he had grown to the girl in two weeks. He didn't know how it happened but he turned towards her and suddenly he was human and wild with hands and feet and a sword in his hand that took off the guy's head.

That had been amazing.

"Shut up."

Kisame looked up with a wide grin knowing that Zabuza couldn't see him from where he was in the box, but that didn't stop him from being able to hear all of Kisame's telegraphed thoughts. It had taken a couple hours of reminiscing, but finally the other sword was annoyed enough to voice his anger.

"You mad about something?" Kisame asked, using his thoughts instead of his mouth to speak with the other sword. Zabuza was locked in a box in another room, there was only one way they could communicate and that was through thought.

"You're making this unbearable," the other sword growled. "Wake her up."

"No point in that," Kisame drawled.

"What do you mean no point you purposefully obtuse bastard? Wake her up so she can release me as well."

"She's got no reason to do something like that right now. She's sleeping and I kinda like watching her sleep. Humans sleep, did ya know that?"

"Of course I know that you ugly ogre."

"So lay off it you moron. She's tired and I don't want to wake her up to do something stupid like rouse your cranky ass. She's so tiny."

"Her size doesn't have anything to do with it."

Kisame's tone turned nonchalant. "She's cute  _and_  tiny and she needs her sleep. I thought you knew that, idiot."

Zabuza growled low and dangerous, likely realizing that Kisame wasn't going to do anything helpful in that moment. "When she's awake tell her to give me a body as well."

"Why don't you just ask her yourself. She seemed really sad that she couldn't hear your voice. If you want something for her you shouldn't be going through me to get it."

Kisame could have sworn he heard Zabuza's box shake from the other room, but that might have just been his imagination, since Zabuza was just an inanimate object with no way of moving on his own. Still, the guy's cursing was top notch for a sword, and it didn't hurt that he was terribly easy to rile up after so many years locked in the same box. Zabuza was notoriously incapable of voicing his true feelings if ever there was a word for it, that would be Zabuza through and through.

Kisame turned and checked back behind him to see she was still asleep and still curled around his back like some sort of animal. Her hair was a mess around her face, flared like a halo that became bushier and softer as it dried. He couldn't help himself but felt compelled to play with it.

She wasn't a child anymore, he could tell by the scars and the muscle, but she was somehow still childlike when she was asleep and vulnerable under the covers. He felt compelled to protect and even care for her, and knew that a part of the reason was because she was his sage, but also because she chose him…picked him up and swung him when no one else would. For that fact alone he decided he would be loyal to her. It was nice to be wanted, to feel chosen and cared for after so long alone.

A curse from Zabuza made Kisame sigh. He wasn't the guy's best friend by any stretch of the imagination, but he did understand the sword better than anyone else, having come from the same set of circumstances. He had also been abandoned and left alone for ages. For as happy as he felt now he knew that it would unfair of him to deny Zabuza the same peace.

_'I sorta want to be a little unfair right now, though,'_ he thought to himself as he watched her sleep some more with a strand of hair between his fingers. Maybe that made him mean, but he liked being relied upon.

Well, whatever. She already said she was planning on giving Zabuza a body if she could, so it's not like he  _needed_  Kisame's help. Knowing Sakura, he assumed she would try to use her power as soon as she was awake.

Kisame resolved to be content with being relied upon for the night.

* * *

When Kakashi and Sai stepped back onto the manor grounds Sai went rigid at the sound of something and dashed off, leaving Kakashi in his dust just as the sunrise burned over the horizon and brought color back into the world with it.

Their mission had taken longer than expected and the kid was likely over eager to see his sage or something.

"Who are you?" Sai's angry demand rang out.

Kakashi let his hand fall from behind his head as something like emotional exhaustion started to take him over. ' _Great, here we go.'_

Kakashi jogged over to where he heard Sai's voice coming from and recognized Sakura's sleeping chamber. He rounded the corner and stared inside, only mildly surprised to see the pink haired sage asleep in a curl around the base of an unknown man's back. A large unknown man with blue skin and a sword longer than Kakashi's whole frame.

"She did it then," he mused aloud, completely ignoring the hostile stance of the black haired tantou who looked ready to take on a mountain just to get to his sage. It was laughable how loyal the pretty dagger could be.

The blue skinned man kept grinning, but his black eyes swiveled over to Kakashi and landed like weights on his shoulders. Kakashi kept himself from shuddering but meekly raised a hand and waved it causally.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted. "You Kisame or Zabuza?"

"Kisame, obviously. Did Zabuza look this blue to you?"

"I'm a little color blind with only one eye," Kakashi playfully lied. "How's she holding up? She been asleep long?"

"She's safe, not that you really seemed to care. We had a visitor yesterday. I think his body is still in the courtyard if you want to go looking for it." Kisame leaned forward and the gleam of his grin caught the morning light just right. "Careful, we left it in pieces."

"Very nice, we'll get to that later," Kakashi remarked offhandedly as he knelt down close to her head and pulled off one of his gloves. He reached for her face and felt her forehead. He tilted it up and took in the color after something made him frown. "How did she get a fever?"

Kisame stilled.

Sai made a strangled sound and darted around the two to kneel down at Sakura's other side. He pulled away the blankets and tugged her up onto his lap as Kakashi slipped his glove back on. Sai's hands were on her face feeling the heat just like Kakashi's had. Sai tugged the blankets back around her, keeping them close to her chin.

"Is she going to be okay?" the boy asked.

"Ma, it's not that bad. She got like this after you, Sai. I don't know if it was the blood loss and the river or summoning your body, but I've seen this before. She's plenty healthy for her age so I'm sure she'll pull through. I'll go get the medicine. You, blue face, wanna draw the water from the well I need for her tea?"

Kisame didn't respond, but spoke as if Kakashi hadn't just addressed him."Is she sick?"

"Yes and no. She'll be fine. She's just exhausted," Kakashi said. He stood and started to head off in the direction of the kitchen. "I guess I'll help her out since she managed to do her job. Getting some more help around her will be nice."

"Oi," Kisame called out. He stood and lumbered out of the room onto the porch where he could stand up all the way. "You don't sound too concerned, bastard. Aren't you worried?"

"Why should I be? I told you she'll be fine."

"She's…isn't she in pain?"

Kakashi blinked and then his eye trailed off as if in thought.

"Maybe, but no more than anyone else with a fever. She'll be fine since she's stronger than most women. We also managed to bring home real food this time." Kakashi's lone eye drifted back to Kisame with a new sharper gleam. "But we didn't get that much, and now we have to feed you. If only we had some wild boar, that would make her fever go down much quicker."

"I can get that," Kisame scoffed. "There are plenty in the hills. It'll make her better?"

"What person doesn't get better with good food and rest?" Kakashi countered.

Kisame reached up behind him and grabbed the hilt of his long odachi. The action made Kakashi pause and slowly swallow. If he wanted to, Kisame could slice him in two with a single swing and they both knew that. Kakashi tried extra hard to keep his overly pleasant smile on his face under the mask so that it showed in his lone, exposed eye.

"Fine," Kisame gruffly muttered with a low shadow over his eyes. "I'll be back in a couple of hours at the most."

And like one would expect from a legendary blade become man, Kisame was gone is a breeze too fast to see with the average set of human eyes. Along with him went the killing intent.

"If that's what one of them is like I can't imagine what two would be like," Kakashi muttered to himself before turning to prepare the medicine.

True to his word, Kisame was back in an hour and a half with a dead boar slung over his shoulder and two fat rabbits dangling from his belt. Kakashi asked about the rabbits, hoping they could be used for a stew, but Kisame just barked about Kakashi getting them when he was done skinning their hides for a collar Sakura could wear inside her Yukata like the fancy women in Kiri were known to wear.

"She's awake if you want to go see her," Kakashi muttered offhandedly. "Something about that dead bastard's sword keeping her from sleeping. She's with Sai cleaning it up."

Kisame hesitated, but then dropped the rabbits with an over the shoulder warning to not touch their hides until he got back.

* * *

Sakura remembered hearing the voice before waking. If that voice hadn't been there, crying out, she might have slept on for however long her body needed. But the crying was there and she roused, turning over and pushing up off the floor with more pain in her front than before. The angry red line was still there under the layers of her yukata, cracking with her stretches.

"Sakura, don't move," Sai pleaded, reaching for her shoulders and pulling her back towards his lap. "You still have a fever. You need to rest some more."

"Can you hear it, Sai?" she asked, tasting her voice in her throat like it was some dried out dead thing that reeked. She licked her lips and looked for water.

Sai anticipated her need and had a cup of hot water on hand, meant to cleanse her palate. Sakura drank from it, not minding how warm it made her body. It seemed to shake her voice free.

"What are you talking about, Sakura?" Sai asked as he watched her drink the rest of water.

"The voice," Sakura sighed, closing her eye and leaning forward so the line down her front didn't open and bleed again. "Can't you hear it?"

Sai paused to listen and then recognition crossed his features. "Oh yeah, that one. It's just the sword from that guy Kisame killed. You can ignore it."

Sakura grunted and pushed away from Sai to stand. She didn't have slippers or shoes, but padded out of the room and into the courtyard. Sai called out to her to be mindful about the weeds with thorns, but Sakura didn't stop until she was back in the place where Kisame had killed the assassin. The body was still there, still dead and still cold, but the thing beside it was crying out.

"Sakura."

Sai started to reach for her but she shushed him and told him to hold off while she reached for the discarded sword, still stained with blood.

"You can get me a rag and some more warm water, please. This blade needs to be taken care of."

Sai's face scrunched in displeasure. "Why are you taking care of a sword that wanted to kill you. It's blaming you, can't you hear what it's saying?"

' _Her fault, it's not fair, why am I alone now, it wasn't supposed to be like this, bitch, how dare that sword strike him down.'_

Sakura smiled softly over her shoulder at Sai who seemed to melt under the attention. "I can hear him just fine. Please, I need that water."

Sa finally ran to get the things she asked for. When he came back she was cradling the angry sword like it was one she had made herself. With the rag and the water she wiped her own blood off the blade and cleaned it before taking a sword care kit out. Once the blood was gone she treated the blade with expert care that came from years immersed in her craft. Sai sat beside her and watched as she oiled it down and used the paper to make the metal shine.

"That's surprising."

The pair of them looked up to see Kisame lumbering over to them, having just appeared out of what seemed like thin air. He stopped a couple of feet away from Sakura, close enough to reach her if he wanted to.

"Good morning," Sakura greeted, still red faced from her fever but awake all the same.

Kisame grumbled and reached out to touch her head with his own hand. "You're still hot. What are you doing out of bed?"

Sakura grinned up at the blue skinned man and it made him flush a shade between purple and red high up on his cheeks. "I'm feeling fine. It's just my body that's a little burnt out. This isn't an issue, really."

"I still wanna see you in bed resting. I feel like it's my fault you got sick like this. I told you it was a big deal giving me a body and you were so cold last night too. There weren't enough blankets."

"That's why I said I wanted to sleep with you," Sai muttered into Sakura's ear from behind her shoulder.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine, really. This is as restful as anything else I could be doing."

"I'm pretty sure the whole point of rest is to not be doing _anything_ so your body can heal. The sword looks fine now, you can put it away and climb back into bed."

Sakura looked like she wanted to say something else, but Sai interrupted her by pulling out the sheath for the sword and setting it down on her lap. When she looked back over her shoulder at him with a question in her eyes he just shrugged.

"I pulled it off him when we were over there. You can put it away now."

Sakura huffed but sheathed the sword that had gone oddly silent after she first took the rag to it's blood stained blade. She handed it back to Sai who took it and propped it up against the wall.

She then braced to stand but Kisame caught her ankle and kept her from moving. Sakura choked on a blush at the intimate touch, but kept herself from saying anything when she saw he was frowning down at the dirt on her bare feet. Without saying anything he took a rag and wet it once before ringing it out and using it to wipe down her feet.

"You don't want to crawl back into your bed like this," he muttered softly in way of explanation as he ran the rag over her heel and back again until the dirt came off.

She jerked a bit when it tickled, but he kept her ankle in one hand and prevented her from pulling away until his work was finished. He was strong enough to lift her with a single hand, but he held her with soft care and the utmost gentleness until his cleaning was done.

It felt so unnatural to be cared for in such an intimate way after an entire lifetime of being hyper independent and alone. No one, not even her own mother, had touched her so fondly. It left her feeling like there were no words left in the world for her to use to express herself, so she ducked her head and mumbled an insignificant 'thank you' before turning and climbing back into bed where she slowly started to drift back to sleep, knowing Sai was nearby.

Kakashi made the medicine like he said he would, along with the extra fine meal that each of them enjoyed. Kisame made the fur collar for Sakura to wear inside her yukata, even though she protested that she didn't have a kimono fine enough to wear it with and that she was too simple for something fancy like a fur collar.

She stayed close to her bed for the next few days until the fever was gone and then she asked for Zabuza.

* * *

She didn't try to give him a body right away, but cleaned him and they worked with him, going through all the stances she could. She tired easily though and knew she wasn't in any shape to be using her abilities. Even though being a sage was something she didn't fully understand, she knew there were very real limits she could run into if she wasn't careful.

' _Tell me your name,'_ she would whisper to Zabuza at the end of a short round of practice.

_'Speak to me,'_ she would say when she bent over his blade to make it shine like it hadn't in years.

But for as close as she felt to hearing his voice, Zabuza refused to speak to her and Sakura started to wonder if he even wanted to be a human with a body, or if he wanted to remain a sword. When she asked Kisame about it he laughed and then glanced down knowingly at Zabuza before telling her that it was up to each and every blade to decide something like that, and that maybe she should wait to hear from Zabuza before giving him a body.

Sakura took his words to heart, but wondered why Zabuza's silence seems so much more forced and upset after that conversation. She couldn't hear his words, but she could understand and feel his soul somehow. She had a better feeling for Zabuza as a spirit and wondered if that was because she had pulled two others from inanimate bodies into breathing ones.

"Whatever you're thinking, cut it short. We're going on another mission and this time I think I need to take both Kisame and Sai."

Sakura looked up upon hearing Kakashi's words and frowned. "I'm feeling better. I can go with you."

He grinned down at her, smile lazy like his eyes. Today he wore the mask and his hair was thick over the eye normal kept closed or hidden. "Nah, you'll just slow us down and if things get messy you can't fight your way out of it."

"You're going to leave me here alone again, aren't you?"

"You scared?" he teased.

Sakura rolled her eyes and looked away. "You know I'm not, but the other two are going to throw a fit. What sort of mission is it, anyway? Something dangerous?"

"Dangerous enough to need the two of them. I wouldn't have taken it on if I didn't have both of them to help, but still I think it should be fine. Kisame is a powerhouse when he wants to be, and plenty sneaky when he wants to be that too. It will be good for Sai to learn a bit from him."

Sakura snorted in reply. "Don't let him hear you say that. He doesn't like Kisame very much right now."

"Children are like that when they have to share their favorite things. It might get better if we had a few more helping hands around here. I mean, after this mission of course This manor is a dump."

"And you think swords would make excellent carpenters?" Sakura guessed with a wry smile.

"What if I brought some swords back? Some swords that weren't Zabuza, swords you could actually hear."

"How do you know I can't hear Zabuza."

Kakashi waved a hand between them. "No, I don't think you can't hear Zabuza, but I think he's not talking to you, because you keep asking him the same stupid questions and then tell that other sword to be quiet and stop complaining. Speaking of which, I can take that sword with us and sell it if you don't want to turn it into another helper."

Sakura glanced backwards over her shoulder into her bedroom where the sword that nearly killed her rested up against the wall. It didn't want to kill her anymore, not like it had in the beginning, but it still seemed to enjoy tormenting her in its own way and she found that… endearing.

The sword sounded more like a child than a murderer. The master it had been serving had not wielded it long, but before that it had spent too many years in darkness and disuse, so that bond, while brief, was strong between him and the deceased. Sakura hadn't been able to get it to tell her much more than that.

"It's a really good blade, I wouldn't want to trade it unless you were getting some good coin for it.

Kakashi's gaze drifted past her to where the sword leaned against the wall. "How can you tell?"

"I'm literally good at one thing and that's crafting swords of value, so of course I would know how to spot a sword of value. He's whiny and sounds young, but he's a Hozuki blade."

Kakashi squinted at her. "I am supposed to know what that means?"

"It's a well known sword name. All Hozuki are quality blades and as I recall, they're older blades from before Sarutobi's time even. It makes me wonder why a sucky assassin had such a fine blade on him. I doubt he knew what he had."

"It looks the same as any other blade, but if you don't want me to sell it than you should consider making it useful, otherwise I'll blame you next time we have to go hungry."

"Shut up," Sakura grumbled. "Don't complain when you plan on making my boys do most of the work on your mission."

Kakashi's mouth stretched wide under his mask and he chuckled at the flush of her face. "Your boys? You sound like a doting mother when I'm pretty sure Kisame is a hundred times your age. Ah, don't worry, I won't let anything terrible happen to either of them while we're out. The sooner we leave the sooner we can get back."

Both boys did come to bid her farewell, and both promised her they would bring her something back as a memento. Sai seemed especially upset to leave her with such words, but Sakura assured them she would be fine and waved them off.

It was later in the day, after hours of trying to get Zabuza to talk with training, treating, and talking, when the Hozuki sword spoke up.

_'Can't you just leave him alone and pay attention to me.'_

Sakura looked up from Zabuza and smiled at the other sword. "Your sentences are sounding better, more fully formed."

_'No one ever bothered to listen to me before, so I never had to sound good,_ ' the sword grumbled.

'Will you tell me your name now?'

It was quiet for a while before speaking up. _'I'll tell you if you do something for me. I have a brother who wasn't found when I was. He's still in the darkness near here.'_

Sakura's eyes went wide at the idea of another Hozuki blade to add to her collection. ' _Where_?'

_'I'll tell you if you take me to go rescue him, I'll even tell you my name.'_

_'You said it was close?'_

* * *

Sakura was dressed and ready for travel in less than ten minutes. She strapped the smaller sword to her side and hooked Zabuza to her back in a way that made it impossible to draw. She wasn't planning on pulling him out and using him, she just wanted to keep him close while she went wandering. Apparently this place where the Hozuki blade was buried was on the same side as the mountain and close enough that she could reach it and return with a single day's worth of travel.

It took nearly all the daylight hours to find the clearing that led up to the abandoned manor where a great coup had ended a family line several years ago. It was getting dark though so Sakura decided she would camp inside the manor and head back in the morning after finding the sword.

_'But we're so close.'_

Sakura huffed and pushed open a large, sagging door that scraped across the ground terrible from a shattered hinge. _'I'm tired and I need rest. If it's not easy to get to I'll have to start looking again in the morning.'_

_'It's easy, it's easy, it's easy!'_

Sakura stopped in the middle of the front room, looking around to try and figure out where she needed to go next. It was getting harder to see without a light, and she only brought enough oil for a few hours of light. She thought it might be better to save it. Even with a three quarter filled moon, it was hard to see indoors.

Sakura found a bedroom and was surprised to discover bedrolls in the closet, looking as neat as the day they were folded up and put away years and years ago. When Sakura tugged them out they smelled like age and dust, but there weren't any holes or blood strains, so she beat them out the window and set up for the night.

The Hozuki sword grumbled loudly from where she rested it, insisting that she look for his older brother.

Once the bed was set up Sakura sighed and relented, reaching for her lantern. _'I'll look if you're being honest with me about it being close by. I don't have much light.'_

_'He's close!'_

Sakura rolled her eyes and lit the lantern before picking up the sword again. _'Where.'_

'To the left.'

Sakura followed his directions as they led her downstairs and outside and towards a path of field where dirt looked less fresh in patches, like something unholy dwelt beneath it, burning it.

_'It was a fire. Under there.'_

Sakura looked where she felt she needed to and saw a silver handle. She pulled it up and the rest of a door followed. Down beneath her toes was a winding staircase. It stretched down into a darkness she couldn't see into without her lantern. She started make her way down and cursed at how tight the fit was with Zabuza still on her back. She reached the end of the stairs and groaned when she saw her light reflect the dead bodies of a couple of skeletons that looked to have killed each other. She waved her light around and saw she was in a storeroom.

_"There, there, there!'_

Sakura looked and saw there were bedrolls stacked in a corner, smelling just as bad as the ones she found in the manor but looking uglier with old-fashioned designs that went out of style decades ago. Sakura reached for one and pushed it aside when she felt something heavy.

_'Brother?'_

That voice hadn't belonged to the sword on her hip, but was a new voice entirely.

_'Hello, my name is Sakura, and we've come looking for you. Where-ah, there you are. I see you now,'_ Sakura said just as her hand encircled the polished sheath. She felt a tingle and knew it was the sword warming up to her.

_'Hello Sakura,'_ the new sword responded amicably with a polite tone. _'My name is Mangetsu and I see you already know my brother Suigetsu. It is an honor to meet such a lovely young sage. Thank you for the rescue. It was dreadfully boring.'_

Sakura couldn't help herself, but laughed at his words. _'Oh Mangetsu, you are quite charming, but I'm not sure I can believe you when it's as dark as it is. Save your compliments for someone else. Still, I am glad you are alright.'_

_'Brother, why did you tell her my name?'_ Suigetsu complained in a shrill whine.

_'Hush, brother. That's no way to speak of a lady.'_

' _Oh, I like him. He's all manners. What happened to you, Sui? You loose all the good charm after a few weeks with mountain bandits and assassins?'_

_'How unfortunate for a blade as renowned as a Hozuki to fall into the hands of such simple villains. I pity you, brother. It would have been better to rot in darkness I think.'_

The two brothers began to bicker teasingly, which only amused Sakura as she turned and started to climb out of the cellar with a couple of spare bedrolls under her arms. She planned on bringing them back to the manor and using them to help pad her limp bedding. She would have to come back with Kisame and Sai some other time and loot the manor. Much of it looked untouched apart from the damage, decay, and old bloodstains.

Sakura found her way back to her room and put out the light to save what little oil she had left. She set all the swords aside and laid her body down between the sheets to sleep.

Sleep held her for a good many hours, until noises down below roused her awake. It was still dark out, but the sun was starting to rise. Sakura turned over and froze, hearing the voices again. Those didn't belong to the swords.

Down below there were a pair of men drifting in through the door, talking about some odd trail they had caught and followed. Both men were marveling about the find and planning on looking through the place for bodies and treasure.

"There has to be some finely left over. It doesn't look that cleaned out."

"If you see anyone, kill 'em."

Sakura pulled back into the room and dressed quickly, hands fumbling. She could hear them far off and then drawing closer. She strapped the swords to her side and reached for Zabuza. He was big and her hands were shaking, making it impossible to strap him to her back. She could leave him and climb out the window and maybe make it back.

The footsteps were in the hallway.

' _Use me, Sakura,'_  cried Mangetsu. ' _I will be your blade.'_

But Sakura didn't know how to use a sword, she held Zabuza up and noticed that at least the room she had chosen was large enough to swing the heavy blade freely. She didn't know why she didn't drop him and run, but something made her stick to her spot and level the large blade.

The door started to slide back and Sakura felt her heart drop when the mountain bandit spotted her.

The blade in her hands warmed. _'My name is Zabuza Momochi, the demon of the mist you brat, so give me that damn body!'_

It happened so fast, but before she knew what was happening the light was at her hands and then Zabuza was gone, then he wasn't, he was just human and charging with a roar of bloodlust. He swung his blade and it was too wide for the doorway, but that didn't stop it. He cut straight through the wall and through the body of the bandit as well. He snarled like a demon and launched him out into the hallway to hunt down the other body. He spotted it and from the cry of fright he found it quickly. There was a horrible, wet, thunk of a sound and Sakura smelled the blood before she was even back in the hallway.

He turned around, blood splattered across his front, and stared balefully back at her. Like Kakashi, there was a cloth of some sort covering the lower half of his face, and like Kakashi he was tall with an angled posture meant for sharp movements and quick draws.

"Zabuza," Sakura breathed his name and her eyes grew wide at the sight of him. It was nearly dawn, but in the dim of the manor, he looked gray to her eyes when he turned back towards her. He huffed loudly and swung his sword around to clip onto the hanger on his back, similar to the one Kisame used.

"Ah well, it can't be helped then, can it?" he muttered gruffly, sounding like his voice was made to always be guttural. "It looked like you needed me after all."

"You're really Zabuza," she gaped, staring up at him when he approached.

He was a fraction of a head taller than Kakashi, but not as tall as Kisame. She almost took a step back when he stopped in front of her, but didn't. She wasn't scared of him, though maybe she should have been.

"Who else would I be," he gruffly barked. He shifted the weight of his body from one leg to the other and then reached for her, turning her head to the side and poking her to move as he inspected her. "You're not hurt anywhere, are you?"

"N-no, I'm fine. I didn't actually do anything this time."

Zabuza huffed. "That's because I'm more reliable than that other guy that waits for you to get cut before showing up. If you're fine then it's alright. Are you ready to go back?"

"Thank you!"

He blinked, tilting his head back and staring down at her with a confused expression.

"You saved my life and you didn't have to, so thank you."

"S-shut up. You think It would have been better if I let you die? Besides, I just wanted a body. You-you don't have to thank me," he groused, looking mildly uncomfortable with her words. "But you're welcome."

Sakura smiled wide, feeling younger than her years. She smiled like she was a kid and she didn't care who saw it. "You're cool. I'm glad you decided to talk to me."

Zabuza made a sound like a groan but ducked his head and shouldered past her, trying his best to ignore her as she skipped along behind him. She hadn't missed how his ears turned red. She darted ahead of him and took the stairs two at a time before his hand on her wrist made her pause. He pointed to her side where the swords once hung.

"What happened to those two?"

Sakura turned around and reached for the door Zabuza had cut into. She pushed it aside and saw into the room, where two newly human swords stood, looking like a pair of brothers when they turned as one to spot her. Zabuza stopped just behind her and cursed low under his breath.

"Shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, I did in fact get the idea for this lovely fic from the video game/anime franchise Touken Ranbu and Katsugeki/Touken Ranbu. In the game you play as a character-a sage- who brings to life different historic swords to fight for you and protect history and it's so pretty and easy and fun to get interested in, but I wanted to explore the dynamic between a sword made man and the maker or master. And you know me, I love Sakura reverse harem style fics. Plus, the Kiri nin and all the swordsmen of the mist were just too perfect to pass up the opportunity to.


	4. Chapter 4

Sakura watched Kakashi for a hint as to what he was thinking.

"So," he hesitantly began. "Let me get this straight…you went off on your own, discovered another hidden mansion in the mountains, found that sword, gave Zabuza a body….and then…accidentally gave those two their bodies without meaning to?"

"I don't see why this is hard for you to understand. This is good, isn't it? They're helping out around the house fixing things and Zabuza wants to go out on missions. Why are you making that face?"

"I thought this was supposed to be hard for you."

"It's not like I understand what I'm doing either," Sakura huffed. "It just happened."

"You're not holding out on me are you?"

Sakura stared across the table at Kakashi balefully and then leaned back to sweep her hands across the expanse of the table. "Oh no, Kakashi, you see I _like_ starving and living in a run down house full of holes with half a dozen different men. This is what I've been dreaming of my whole life."

Kakashi made a note before glancing back down at his novel, flipping a page. "I don't know, there are some women who would be especially pleased about that last part. You've got almost all of those swords eating out of the palm of your hand. You tell them to jump they'll ask how high. If you want one of them to keep you company for a night-"

Sakura spit out the tea she had been drinking and it was only with his fantastic reflexes that Kakashi managed to save both himself and the book in time from being sprayed. Sakura bent over the table choking on her drink and Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of her red stained face. Even though she was an older maid, she was still a maid in every sense of the word. She had probably never touched a man, because of being too busy making swords for the old monkey.

'How cute," he thought.

"You're talking shit," Sakura croaked, hitting her chest to get her voice back.

"Am I?" His delight was infused into each of his words. "What is that Sai keeps bugging you about each night?"

"That's different."

"So you say." His voice was full of mirthful suggestion that only made her groan again and blush harder.

"He doesn't understand the implications and you're a pervert for suggesting such a thing." Sakura made a swipe for his book and missed. "You're reading smut all day and it rots your brain."

"Don't deny an old man his pleasures when he's the one who has what you probably want most."

Sakura snorted. "And that is?"

Kakashi reached into a pouch at his side and pulled out a weighty cloth bag that he set down with a heavy clunk. Sakura perked at the sound of metal chips inside. There were whispers with words barely half formed that made her heart constrict. She looked up with wide eyes to see Kakashi grinning down at her over the edge of his book.

 _Kera_.

He chuckled at the sight and waved to the open doorway. "The rest of your things are already set up in the forge. I had Kisame bring back the stuff I couldn't carry."

Sakura remembered the forge and went running with the bag of metal chips held close to her chest. She didn't stop to bother with sandals, but ran barefoot as fast as she could until she was at the edge of the forge, left standing alongside what might have once been a barn for how broken the structure stood. Like Kakashi said, her tools were all in place and the forge had been cleaned out.

Sakura pulled out the boxes left empty and began to sort the chips of metal into different sections of the box depending on their weight, texture, and voice. The more she had to work with the better the chances of her sword being the finest it could be.

Sakura looks up from the plates of kera steel that will be layered like puzzle pieces into the shape of a block. As if she were back in her old forge the steps come back to her so naturally. She starts to sort through her favorite pieces, knowing that once the pieces are all assembled they would be wrapped in paper to stay together through the ash and the mud.

Sakura felt like she finally fit somewhere. Sage or no sage, she was a swordsmith before anything else. It was what her soul had been crafted for.

The voices grew louder under her fingers and she heard the sounds of actual words from several shards. Sakura began to pull them out one by one and speak to them, listening to their baby talk. Some were immature and too weak for words, others, rarely, could speak back. The most common sound was the one of longing.

' _Use me. I want to be used. Pick me. Make me beautiful. Make me sharp. Make me useful. I want to be used. Me!'_

Before long her fingers are already black at the tips and her knuckles are rough once more.

Sai sat at the edge of the forge is what made her finally look up from her work of layering.

"Yeah?" she asked, squinting to see him as he stood in front of the sun. When had it sunk so low?

Sai stepped into the forge and looked around. "It's dinner, we've made it together. I didn't know where you were until Kakashi finally told me. You were here all day?"

"Dinner already? I didn't realize a whole day had gone by."

She looked down at the work she had been busying herself with. The beginnings of a sword were there, but it would take a few more days for her to be sure that the pieces she had chosen were perfect and compatible. She only wanted the best pieces for this sword because it would be the first sword she made on her own without anyone else attached to her name.

"I'm coming."

Sakura brushed her fingers on her yukata and frowned when she realized she wasn't wearing a smock. She was a mess already after just one day. Sai reached for her and helped her up and didn't mind it when his hands came away dirty.

Sakura washed her hands quickly under a faucet and followed him back.

"What have the others been doing?" she asked.

Sai shot her a look and she chuckled. "Like you weren't keeping tabs on everyone. I know you know."

"Kisame made Zabuza train with him once before the pair went out looking for food, the brothers have been going over the compound looking it over. They found a garden patch that they think they can revitalize and use to grow some vegetables, nothing too fancy, but the basics. Tomorrow they want to go back to that other manor and loot it."

"And you?"

Sai blinked before looking over at her. "Me?"

"What did you do all day?"

"I…watched people. I noticed I have a lot to learn. I don't understand what they say sometimes, especially Kakashi."

"That's because he is a sarcastic asshole. Sarcasm takes a while to understand for some people."

Sai huffed. "I understand when you use it. I understand you well enough. It's other people I don't understand."

Sakura felt a tug of guilt in her heart. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe you just need more practice. Like, tonight at the dinner table would be a good place to practice. You can pay attention to how I interact with the others."

"The others are annoying though."

Sakura chuckled. "They're not that bad, and the brothers have only been here a day. You barely know them."

His brows drew together and Sakura remembered the face of children who were being forced to do something they hated. "They're all annoying because they talk like they know you. I'm the only one who can act like that because the others aren't made by you, they were just found swords."

Sakura saw the part of the house the took dinner in coming up and reached for Sai to pull into a side hug. "True, but right now we're all humans together, and we're all learning together. I want you to try…for me."

Sai ducked his head and grumbled. "Not fair. You know I'd do anything for you."

Sakura laughed, releasing him and climbing up onto the porch and entering the dinning room now partially crowded with bodies. "I do what I can with what I have."

"You were doing something, Sakura?" Mangetsu asked, clearly turning the fullness of his attention onto her and smiling politely.

Unlike his brother, Mangetsu was seated neatly at the side of the table and looked clean for dinner. Suigetsu looked like he just came in from a long day out in the sun as he slouched at the table. The two brothers looked painfully related with the same silvery hair cut short and same bright violet eyes, but the differences ended there.

"I was in the forge, but I lost track of time. I meant to come back and help out with some other things. Sorry about that. Sai says you guys found a garden."

Sakura took her place at the table and neatly folded her legs under the table and sat with her back purposefully straight, the way any mother would want their eligible young daughter to sit. That thought made her posture shift a little bit and return to normal. She didn't want to force herself to be perfect. She didn't want to force herself to change for such a silly reason.

"Not to worry. No, Sui and I were mostly just getting our bearings on being human and being…here, wherever here is. Kakashi was being a little vague about the current state of your circumstances."

"Oh, you mean the face that I'm a wanted refugee, on the run and fleeing for my life because apparently some other sage in the land of fire didn't like that there was someone else who could do what he did?" Sakura sarcastically bit, glaring sidelong at Kakashi who was busy leaning back with his book and ignoring all of them promptly.

Mangetsu nodded, eyeing the pair keenly. "That…does explain some things."

"I've hear of Orochimaru before," said Suigetsu. "He's a real big deal in the land of fire and as I hear it, he's got his own little army fanatically loyal to him. If it's true that he's a sage, it would make a hella lota sense. All his little warrior soldiers are just swords he turned into humans."

"Sounds like an asshole to me, but I'm mostly biased," Kisame huffed, carrying in the rice and reaching for the first few bowls to fill.

Most of the meat was already assembled on the table and vegetables had been purchased during their last trip out. Sakura grabbed her chopsticks and started to pick pieces to add to her rice once she got her bowl back. Kisame was explicit about serving Kakashi last.

"Do you want to go back?" Mangetsu asked Sakura.

Sakura paused with a clump of rice caught between her chopsticks. She let it fall back into her bowl. "I don't know. My family died when I was really little and all my friends and the people that took me in after that were killed. I have nothing to go back to. This place is as good as any now that I can use the forge. Plus, there are things I have to help with."

"What sort of things?"

"Nothing right now," Kakashi interrupted before Sakura could answer Mangetsu's question. He turned another page in his book and chuckled at something happening in the novel. "You just worry about making your pretty swords and taking care."

Sakura scowled. "I don't like that attitude. If you're going to ask me for favors then ask me. Don't pretend like you're doing any of this because you care."

"I'm not really asking that much from you, though. It's the others here, at this table that are actually worth anything. Are  _you_  going to fight Orochimaru's men when he comes looking for you?"

At the mention more than one body went stiff in the room. Sai was poised to attack at the slightest twitch and Kisame looked ready to do something savage too. The brothers were still, listening and watching for what was coming next. The only one who seemed unconcerned was Zabuza, but maybe that was because he was so hard to read to begin with.

"He thinks I'm dead, remember?" Sakura huffed.

Kakashi continued to grin. "Yup, you're safe for now, no need to worry."

Sakura huffed loudly and shoved the bowl up to her chin and began to furiously shovel clumps into her mouth.

"Is he truly such a dangerous man that you would have to worry with so many blades at the table?" Mangetsu asked, looking between Kakashi and Sakura. "My brother and I are no lightweights, also Kisame and Zabuza are both relics."

"That doesn't mean anything," Zabuza growled, speaking up for the first time. He glared sideways at Kisame who didn't say anything and reached for his bowl. Zabuza took it with him, stood up from the table and stomped out.

Kisame blew a breath through his teeth in Zabuza's direction and then leaned back nonchalantly. "Forget that guy, he's as stiff as ever about stuff that doesn't even matter. Relic or not, he'll still get used, which is the only thing he's worried about not happening by the way. Don't worry about him, princess I can see you making a face and his attitude 'aint because of you."

Sakura buried more of her face in her rice, cursing how she was a terrible example for Sai to be observing. Kakashi just drove her up a wall sometimes. He was such a dick.

"I'm not worried about anyone, least of all myself," she muttered before setting her bowl down.

"Should you be?" Kisame asked.

Sakura made a face like she had smelled something bad. "What does that mean?"

Kisame jabbed a thumb in Kakashi's direction. "Are you really in danger like this guy says?"

"Not right now I'm not."

Mangetsu was watching the exchange with his eyes, seemingly absorbing every word said. His brother, likewise, also seemed more interested.

"If that guy knew where you were, would he send people here to kill you? Like he did with that one there?" Kisame asked while pointing to Suigetsu and then back at her chest where she had been cut.

Sakura rolled her eyes and lounged sloppily at the table, no longer caring in the slightest how she was seen. "I don't even know that for sure. The guy could have been trying to kill me for any number of reasons. There's a shortage of perfect women in the world and it would be a shame to let this one get away."

Kisame barked a laugh and reached up to rub his jaw while watching Mangetsu, the prude, sputter at her crass speech.

"I knew that much," Suigetsu cut in. The whole of the room's attention turned to him. "He wasn't hired by Orochimaru and he didn't know who you were exactly, but there was a bounty put out for a pink haired women that fit your description. I'm sure that was his doing because any bounty hunter and rogue from the hills would be willing to kill for that sort of money."

"How much am I worth?" Sakura asked, suddenly interested.

It was Kakashi who interrupted. "Last I heard it was 3,000,000 ryō."

Sakura swore under her breath, eyes lighting up. "Damn, that's impressive. I guess I'm a pretty big deal."

"Almost as much as Sarutobi, who was 15,000,000 ryō. Or at least that's what Orochimaru paid to have him legally slaughtered without repercussions. Still, that's nothing for the Shogun to be raking in."

Sakura set aside her bowl and reached for the teacup that was filled with tea so watered down it was practically warm water. "We once worked on a set of blades together for an entire year and Sarutobi made 1,000,000 ryō off of the set. It was the most I've ever seen him make and it was a really big deal."

Kakashi looked back at his book and turned to a new page. "Well, you're worth three sets of those damn swords, you're welcome by the way."

"Hardly," Mangetsu interjected, leaning forward and placing both hands, palms down, on the edge of the table. "I should think Sakura owes you nothing. Turning an innocent maid over to a vile killer isn't something one is thanked for. Nor is one thanked for not burning the fields down in the middle of a harvest. Only a villain would do such a thing."

"Starving people have been called worse, I'm sure," Kakashi absently replied. His eyes were still on his book, reading from the pages. "There are plenty of people willing to be a villain if it makes their life easier."

"If someone tried coming for Sakura I assure you that their life would not be made easier," Mangetsu said.

Kisame barked a laugh and eyed Suigetsu, who had gone quiet behind his brother. "That sounds about right. If they try it they'll end up like the last guy. Ain't that right Suigetsu?"

The younger brother ducked his head and scowled. "You don't have to remind me. It's not like I had a voice or a choice in the matter, alright? Besides, that was before I knew any of you." He looked to Sakura. "You saved me and then found my brother to save too. We have human bodies now too, with hands and shit, so don't look worried. I'll not let anything bad hurt you either. I owe you more than that."

"Yeah, well I'm thankful too, but I'm sticking around because I like the princess, not because I feel like I owe her everything and the moon. I mean, I do owe you a lot, but I like you more, if you get it," Kisame interjected.

Kakashi flipped to a new page in his book, close to the end.

"You have a handful of loyal blades, how cute. Don't think you're holding off an army with thre-sorry Sai, _four_ swords as your last line of defense. If Orochimaru knew where you were, he'd be even more desperate to stamp you out than the old man. You're the sage he's worried about, and he's got the Shogun on his side too, worried about you turning into a foreign power to throw him over."

"Isn't that what you want me doing?" Sakura asked. She recalled hearing from him how there was someone in mind to take Danzo's place once he was out of power. It sounded like Kakashi had been part of a coup resistance at one point.

"Eventually, but wars aren't won in days. This is a long campaign and I'm willing to wait another ten years if that's what it takes. Speaking of which, I'm going to check on that stupid messenger bird and see if we have any new missions coming up. The other fellow looks like he's chomping at the bit for some action."

Kakashi nodded to the group and popped out of his seat to start ambling out of the room.

"Don't leave me out either!" Kisame shouted at Kakashi's back. "I'll earn twice as much as last time." When Kisame turned back to look at the group he smiled at Sakura. "I'll buy you something nice on the way back. What do you want?"

"There's nothing I need at the moment. You're better off saving your money."

Kisame leaned forward across the table. "You're gonna make me guess, are ya?"

His crooked grin made Sakura feel funny enough to blush. "I didn't say that," she hissed. "Don't waste your money, I don't want anything."

"Yeah, well I wanna make you blush like that again, so don't count on it."

Sakura choked on her rice and Mangetsu started to protest Kisame's impropriety while Suigetsu flopped back and laced his fingers behind his head, content to let the rest of the group have their fun arguing without him. Sai sipped his tea wordlessly, watching Kisame a bit too keenly.

* * *

Sakura left dinner, still feeling uneasy about Kisame's too keen interest in her discomfort. His teasing had rattled her more than it should have and she wasn't sure why that was. She had been…flirted with in the past, but she had always been able to keep her cool and bite back something whenever it happened. Kisame just unnerved her too much to be her usual sassy self. It wasn't like she actually believed him or anything. He just liked teasing her.

She found Zabuza behind the wood stack, swinging his blade in practice. He paused, blade held perfectly leveled, and looked to her. There was a light layer of sweat that was still visible in the dim light of dusk. Sakura spotted the empty bowl from dinner on a tree stump nearby.

"I'll take that for you," Sakura said, bowing her head and shuffling forward to grab his used bowl.

"You don't have to worry about it," Zabuza barked.

Sakura paused for only a second before grabbing the bowl and lifting it up. "It's fine. I don't mind doing this much. I'm sorry if I disturbed your practice."

"That's not what I meant."

He grunted, letting his blade swing down and sink into the earth, staying upright when he let go of the handle. He hiked his shoulders and stalked over to where she was standing. When he stopped Sakura had to look up to see his face, they were so close.

Sakura held the bowl closer. "It's just a bowl."

"I wasn't talking about the bowl."

Zabuza's voice was a rumble; like far off thunder was something that was trapped in his lungs only to be let loose whenever he spoke. He looked down at her hands, both clutching the red bowl, before reaching for one. His fingers spread over her hand, hovering there for a breath,  _almost_ , as if, afraid to touch, before his hand finally touched hers and pried her fingers off the bowl. She still held the red thing with one hand, but the other was wrapped up in his opposite hand, scarred and calloused. Her own hands had plenty of scars and were rougher than any woman's hands had a right to be, but he didn't seem to mind.

"You don't have to worry about it," he repeated.

Sakura understood, slowly, that he didn't mean the bowl, but he was talking about something else. Her slow brain could comprehend that much, but was drawing blank when it came to the rest.

"What do you mean?"

Somehow she had been tugged closer without her realizing. It made her heart hammer and knees shiver like some teenage girl-something she had never been allowed to be.

"You feel guilty, like you don't deserve to send us out. You forget we were made to be used. Being human doesn't change that. We're still restless for purpose."

"Yeah, but you're human now, you could find that purpose anywhere."

She tried to pull away, scared by the way her legs started to wobble. He tugged her hand back, grip unrelenting.

"Then believe it when someone tells you they chose you."

He let go of her hand and she almost stumbled when he reached for the red bowl. He was able to snatch it away without much resistance and brushed past her with it, calling back over his shoulder about how he was taking it back, himself.

* * *

Sakura spent several days in the forge going through the precious steel, looking for the perfect combination. The voices got louder the longer she spoke to them and listened to them in earnest. Almost as if her proximity was enough to help them into maturity. Sai would could in and sit with her for a time before being called out, and the others stopped by to greet her and say something in passing, but for the most part they left her alone with her art, knowing that she needed the time to concentrate.

She helped the boys with the garden, managing to cultivate some vegetables alongside their efforts, and even repaired parts of the manor that needed it the most.

One week became two and then two became three.

There were no more attacks by assassins.

Sakura healed.

They looted the other houses they discovered scattered around the mountains, and life went on.

It was when the boys came back one night, Kisame, Zabuza, the brothers, and Kakashi, all bloody and ragged looking, that things started to change. Kisame carried all of _them_ , but when he set the box down he didn't need to open the lid before Sakura knew what was inside.

"There's-" Sakura sucked the air in through her teeth and braced on the wall, holding her head with her free hand as an onslaught of voices rushed over her. "There's more than three in there."

"We took what we could. There are four of value, but the others…we weren't sure. We grabbed as many as we thought we needed," Mangetsu explained, looking worried at the way she staggered.

"Where did you go?"

The boys exchanged looks while Sai came up behind Sakura, perfectly free of blood since he had been with her all night, watching her while the others went off.

Kakashi was already off in the corner, sliding down the wall and reaching for his book like there wasn't a huge gash down his front bleeding out."A daimyo in Kiri that Mei wanted us to take care of. The spoils were our payment in addition to our advance."

As if that was his cut, Kisame held up another sack, this one fist sized, and rattled it to make the items clink together inside. "We all got goody bags."

Sakura swallowed and then reached for the latch on the box. Inside there were six different swords, but the ones she could hear best were the Wakizashi siblings, one being a fraction longer and older looking than the other, but both bearing the same maker's seal on the hilt. She let out a curse of reverence when she recognized it.

Next she pulled out a long katana that was also longer than the average of its kind. It was loud and howling and she suspected it might have  something to do with the reek of blood it carried with it. She turned it over and narrowed her eyes at the signature. It was a stunning blade, but there was so much bloodlust in it.

The last one she took notice of was likely the most beautiful blade Sakura had ever seen in her life. It made her hurt in her heart when she pulled it free. Sai would always be her pride, but she could admit to the possibility of other blades holding just as much beauty and she realized it hurt to be proven right. It was more lovely than anything she had ever seen. When she pulled the blade free Sakura watched it reflect the little light left in the room.

 _'Your name is Haku?'_ she asked when she heard it's voice, so soft and delicate like a court lady's.

She had heard of Haku before, being that he was a blade carried alongside Zabuza many long years ago. The two of them went well together and Sakura felt inclined to draw this blade out before the others.

The bloodthirsty blade was a descendant of Kisame's, made from the same forge and school, Shizuma Hoshigaki.

The other two blades she had inspected were a younger Kagura Karatachi and the older Yagura Karatachi.

She didn't think the others were worth looking over when she heard one more voice with enough personality to make her pause. Sakura reached under the swords and pulled out one. When she asked for the name of the Katana it told her he was called Utakata, and that he wished to sleep somewhere peaceful please. His voice was so polished it made her set him aside with the others for later.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut. "Shut the case, I can't listen to the rest of them just yet."

"Those the ones you think you can use?" Kakashi asked casually, still pretending he wasn't gravely injured.

Sakura clucked her tongue and walked over to his side, pulling at his bloody things until she could see the gash across his chest that really wasn't as bad as she first thought. It still needed to be treated.

"You're a mess, Kakashi."

He smiled down at her through his mask. "You care for me so much."

"I just don't want you dying on me. Come on, get washed up and I'll bandage you up."

"I can do that much," Mangetsu interjected, stepping forward. "There's no need for you to have to do such a thing yourself, Sakura."

Suigetsu sucked from a bottle of water he kept on a string around his neck. He looked up when he heard his brother and grinned around the bottle. "Yeah, you're gonna be exhausted if you plan on making bodies for all these guys. Why don't you save your strength?"

"Are the rest of you hurt any?"

Sakura asked, looking each one over more critically. She could see minor cuts and bruises, but the men who were once swords didn't seem to take wounds the same way Kakashi did. They always came back looking better than the natural born human. Maybe it was because they were forged out of steel initially, but her swords stood up well in a fight.

"Don't worry about us too much princess. The brat's right. You'll be tired if you plan on pushing yourself the way you're known to do. So what do you say, can the forge wait a few days?" Kisame asked.

Sakura had finally assembled all the pieces she needed and it was ready for fusion, but she was stalling. That task would take several days of undivided attention if she was doing it herself, and the rest of the house and gardens needed her help more.

"I'll be fine. Will we have enough food for this many more mouths?"

"Yo, we brought back plenty with us, princess. You'll be eating yourself fat for weeks. I think that was the best haul yet. We weren't even able to bring it all with us. Some of it's buried at the base of the mountain." Kisame's face lit up as he remembered something. "But this wasn't."

He reached forward and dropped something silvery into her hand. When Sakura looked down she saw a thin band of silver with several coins dangling from it. It looked like a bracelet that would be too big for her.

"It's for your ankle," Kisame explained before pointing out the coins and their significance. "It's from our mythology. Each coin has a different beast on it. Look, a narwhal, the devil fish, even the speckled whale."

"It's lovely," Sakura heard herself admit. She liked the idea of it around her ankle more than her wrist, since she was too dirty and busy for beautiful things when she worked like she did.

Kisame didn't seem to mind that others were watching as he crouched down and reached for her ankle. Sakura braced a hand on his shoulder and shifted her weight so he could grab her ankle and rest her heel on his knee. Kisame fingers were rough and tickled when he drew his hands back and let her foot down again. He had clasped the chain around the thinnest part.

He grinned up at her before standing. "I'm glad you liked it princess. You never let us treat you like one, so this is nice."

"Ah, don't make a habit out of it. If we're getting more mouths to feed we need more rooms fixed up and more of the garden cleared out. Our money can go into those things."

"We have plenty, let us spoil you some," Kisame whined. "You even made us return the fancy lady kimonos."

"I'm a wanted refugee that can't leave this compound, what use would I have in such fancy things?"

"I don't know, maybe some of us would like to see you all dressed up and fancy."

Sakura snorted and shook the anklet so that it jingled. "This is as close as you're going to get, so congratulate yourself now. Those sort of things have never been for me."

Kisame couldn't help himself, and grinned in spite of her defiance. "Alright, I'll take what I can get. One day I'll force you to be spoiled though."

Sakura could only roll her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

 

The house came together quite splendidly with so many hands working on it. After the death of the daimyo the boys had to lay low for a while until things cooled down. They spent their time gardening, preparing the manor, and exploring the mountains for other hideouts and treasures.

One week became two.

Sakura gave a body to a new sword every two days, finding that it tired her out too much to do much more than that in quick succession. After she used her powers as a sage she got tired and had to sleep or rest her body longer for a full recovery. She hated how it incapacitated her so much, but was relieved whenever she recovered.

Like how Mangetsu and Suigetsu Hozuki were a pair of brothers, Kagura Karatachi and Yagura Karatachi were also undeniably related, but the ages between them was enough to make one the grandfather of the other.

Sakura gave a body first to Kagura and was delighted to make his acquaintance. He was polite and curious and always willing to help. His nature was that of a peacemaker, and she noticed how he always tried to smooth things out between the swords when arguments got heated. He also didn't look very old compared to the others. He resembled more a teenager than a full grown man. Kagura had a fair complexion with short, disheveled ash blond hair that fell over the right side of his face and spiked up on the left his she thought was striking were his pink eyes and the tattoo with three points running down under his left eye.

After a couple of days she gave a body to Yagura, the longer of the two swords, and was surprised when he appeared _shorter_ than Kagura, but obviously more matured. He came into the world with the same bright pink eyes as his relative and both arms crossed over his chest. Sakura also noted he had a stitch like scar under his left eye.

Yagura took a look around him and then demanded to know where the others were and something else that Sakura couldn't really understand because the world was swimming, so she just sat down and Kagura rushed to her rescue, offering to show his  _brother_  around.

Sakura heard about how Haku had traveled with Zabuza and was a companion blade to the relic, so she summoned him next, but never expected the figure in front of her to look the way it did. Sakura wasn't even sure if she was looking at a male or female when the lights died down and Haku smiled up at her.

"I'm most grateful for your efforts," Haku said in a voice she recognized. It was like bells in her chest ringing.

Sakura tried to say something but Haku brushed past her and smiled at the people he passed, asking each person where Zabuza was until eventually Kisame pointed him in the right direction. She watched him go and wondered if all court women looked like that when they walked.

Sakura slept too late to do anything in the forge the next day, so she cleaned Utakata and readied him for a body. He was one of the swords she liked talking to best because he seemed so pleasant. He reminded her of a warm breeze, widely dancing through her hair. He wasn't lazy, but…almost. If gardens could be people that's who Utakata would be. He was a place of tranquility.

That evening she gave him a body and was able to see his golden eyes for herself. He was taller than her but not taller than Kakashi, with chin length hair hanging heavily over one eye and a smile that fit too easily on his face. He thanked her for his body and then told her she should rest.

Sakura couldn't remember what she said after that, because things went fuzzy. But, she remembered looking down at her hands when she was back in her room, changing for bed, and seeing thin trails of blood from her nose. She groaned at the sight and wiped what she could away.

The next day she thought she would do Shizunma Hoshigaki and get the last blade over with, but Kakashi appeared at her door with a rough tantou. It's voice was like a child's and when she felt it in her hands she could almost see the slight figure it would become.

"As a favor to me? It's so small I'm sure it wouldn't be much effort."

She couldn't say no to Kakashi.

The light dimmed and there was the boy,  _Inari,_ looking taller than he had sounded and just as rough as his blade self. He was a scrappy knife, but he wasn't Sai and wouldn't fit on a battlefield. Still, he was perfect for helping out around the house and Kakashi said he would learn with training.

Sakura went to sleep ignoring the blood or maybe forgetting about it.

Sakura slept like a sick person, waking after a handful of hours to feel pain and discomfort, only to sleep again for another stretch until the cycle began again. It was hard to sleep and Sakura despised it.

In the middle of the night with the moon nearly full and hanging, she washed her face and moved to return to her room when the sounds from the roof made her pause. They were voices that weren't trying to be loud, but failing to be whispers all the same. With the doors open it was too easy to overhear Haku and several of the other swords conversing with what smelled like drinks to share among themselves.

Sakura remembered just then that swords needed so much less time for sleep and were awake and active far longer than humans. When she needed eight hours in bed, they got by on three.

"I'm just saying I'm not impressed yet," said Haku.

"You're too much of a prude to be impressed with anything. You're too _fay_ for yer own good," sneered Suigetsu. "And who asked you anyway."

Haku's answering voice was sickeningly sweet. "It was the topic of conversation, Suigetsu dear, it was open to everyone."

"Well I didn't ask ye…" the other sword slurred, sounding more tired than drunk.

"Don't let Sai hear you say that, he'll curse you for it," chuckled Mangetsu.

"Who cares about him, he's always skulking off," whined Haku.

"He's actually a very talented scout. Out of all of us, he's the best as stealth, answered Mangetsu again.

"It would explain why he is always gone. I am eager to prove myself once we are dispatched for the first time," said Kagura. "With so many of us now, not everyone can get picked to go out."

Someone else on the roof huffed loudly in annoyance. "It would suck to have to stay here and do old woman chores," Yagura cut in.

"What, you don't like cooking dinner?" Kagura teased his partnered sword. "You look right at home in an apron."

"Shut up," Yagura hissed. "There's already a woman here, shouldn't that be her job? What else does she do?"

Haku laughed loudly and the sound was like bells. Suigetsu might have chuckled too, Sakura wasn't sure. It was hard to tell when her brain felt full of cotton.

She staggered by, holding herself and hiking her shoulders as she slipped through the shadows back to bed. When she woke again it was late in the morning and there was no one on the roof anymore.

Sakura threw up before lunch and skipped the meal with the others entirely, too afraid to get sick again in front of them. Kakashi was teaching Inari how to repair the broken parts of a rice screen door when she asked him for medicine.

"Are you sick?" he asked.

Sakura glared without malice. "No, I just like sucking down god-awful disgusting drugs for the thrill of it. I just need something for my stomach."

Kakashi put his things down and brushed his hands on his legs before standing. "I can check what we have but if it's something serious I can send a few boys down into the village at the base of the mountain to pick something up. Kisame and Zabuza are getting restless and I haven't walked them in a while."

"If you think it's not too soon…" Sakura bit her lip and watched him open up the mobile apothecary to see if there was something she could use in one of its drawers.

"It's fine. This far out I think two weeks is more than enough low time. It might be too soon for missions, but we can make a shopping trip. Ah, here we go." Kakashi pulled out some leaves meant for boiling into tea. "This should help your stomach pains but I'll need to send out our help for more supplies to replace these. If your stomach is bothering you, more than just one tea would be a better idea."

Sakura took the leaves and boiled them in her room for tea like she said she would. That's how Kisame found her.

"We missed you at both lunch and breakfast, you know that. Is tea all you're going to have?"

Sakura glanced up from the pot in her room and managed a tired grin. "For now, until I am feeling more like myself. I've been more tired than usual and I think it might have to do with-" the voices from last night came back to haunt her head and Sakura caught herself before she could admit to any weakness.

"Do with what? Is it too much to summon so many swords?"

Sakura forced a smile and turned back to face Kisame. "Ah, no, it's just all my sleeping. I've just gotten a bit lazy and I think my body is slowing down or something. It's not too much.  _You_  worry too much."

For a second it looked like Kisame didn't believe her and he was going to call her on it, which was a very Kisame thing to do, but then his eyes widened a fraction and he looked away. There was enough color on his cheeks for her to suspect he was blushing.

"Ah, well you are a girl, so if you feel like you need to sleep extra don't force yourself. I know there are-that the days of the month, sometimes you're-some days are harder than others so-you don't need to um, ahhh…." His words were an utter mess as he fumbled his way into an even more awkward situation.

It made her laugh loud and clear. Kisame's face flushed with even more color and he avoided her eyes.

"I was just checking to make sure you were fine!" His voice cracked uncharacteristically. "I'm sorry I disturbed you. I'll be just doing my training with the kids out in the yard as usual. Ask if you need anything. I'll help."

Sakura covered her mouth with her hand and smothered the laughter. "Did Kakashi talk to any of you about going out on an errand?"

"Yeah, Zabuza and I are going to take Suigetsu, since he knows markets the best. We'll be back by the end of the day. Will there be another Hoshigaki by then?"

Sakura glanced to the end of her bed where the blade named Shizuma Hoshigaki waited patiently. It was a relative of Kisame's and she could tell he would be invested in tutoring this particular blade once it took on a body. The keen glint to his eyes was hard to miss.

"You've been nothing but unfailingly kind for as long as I've known you Kisame," Sakura softly murmured, closing her eyes and reaching with her mind for the voice of the blade, finding it soft and subdued as it dozed. "I'm sure he'll be human as well by the end of the day."

Kisame's smile was wide and he reached forward, into her room, and grabbed her into a crushing bear hug that showed off his excitement. Sakura grunted at the pressure but didn't complain, because she didn't mind the contact. It was nice to be liked, after all.

Sakura drank her tea and thanked the boys who were going before they departed at the gates. When Sakura turned back Haku was there, arms crossed into the sleeves of his nicer yukata. His face was nonchalant porcelain, pale and without flaw. He stared at her with half lidded eyes the same chocolate brown color as his hair, but didn't say anything as he stared past her at the retreating forms. Sakura glanced behind her and noticed Zabuza at the tail end of the pack.

With a soft huff that didn't betray anything and everything at once, Haku turned and returned to the more habitable parts of the manor. Sakura could only guess what he felt like having to see Zabuza go off without him.

Kisame once told her than more than anything, swords all wanted to be used.

* * *

 

Sakura tried to eat something, but the rice balls, as simple as they were, didn't want to stay down. The smell of sticky rice alone made her remember the bile staining the bushes behind her room.

Sakura took the tray of refreshments, each filled with something different, and traveled down to the end of the manor where most of the new swords were taking up rooms. Only Haku, who roomed with Zabuza, put his bedroll down at the other end of the manor.

Sakura found Yagura cleaning his sword on the edge of the porch and looking just as grumpy as ever. Not far from him Kagura trained in his stances.

"Either of you hungry for a snack?" she asked.

Kagura dropped out of his stance and made a sound of delight before jogging over. Sakura folded her skirts under her and sat down on the edge of the porch and offered the plate to him to pick off of. A screen door slid back and Utakata stuck his head out, nose sniffing comically for the smell of bean paste.

"I made them," Sakura offered when Utakata saw her plate. "Have some."

"Don't mind if I do," Utakata chuckled. He took one for himself and nodded his thanks before slipping down to the edge of the porch to sit beside her, putting himself between her and Yagura.

"You've made these before?" Yagura asked, turning his own rice ball over and inspecting the thin wrap of seaweed that kept it neat.

"I…have made food for myself before. I've been known to do that when I need to, but I'm not a housewife and wasn't raised to be one," Sakura said, not sure how she should take his comments.

Was he trying to pick a fight or be the misogynistic little shit he had been last night on the roof? He had been the one complaining about how _she_ should be the one making their meals because she was a woman. She didn't doubt it was born out of his displeasure of being sorted into kitchen duty recently.

"I didn't know you were capable of it," he muttered gruffly before taking a bite. "It's edible."

Sakura felt her smile stretch and sharpen. "Of course it's edible you pigheaded  _fuck_."

From where they were eating Kagura and Utakata stopped chewing to turn and look at Sakura with wide eyes before their attention switched over to a shell shocked Yagura.

Yagura's own pink colored eyes were as open as his expression. " _What_?"

Sakura leaned her head back and ignored the way her vision swam at the edges. Her smile was too sharp to be missed. "You want to try rolling out that attitude around me again, because what you just heard was what we call a natural consequence. You act like a self righteous cock, I'll call you out on it, hear me? I'm not a housewife, and I'm not  _your_  housewife, so don't put those expectations on me, shorty."

"I don't deserve such words! How dare you talk to me like that. I'm a legendary blade, the Sanbi Isobua, the three faced beast!" Yagura scrambled to his feet and planted them firmly before fitting his hands on his hips. "And I am not short!"

Sakura blew at a stray strand of hair and cracked her neck, keeping her eyes half lidded in disinterest. She pushed up off the edge of the porch and sauntered over to Yagura, closer and closer until they were almost toe to toe, close enough to show how Sakura was a fraction of a head taller.

She saw his face color with flush and leaned in even more so her bangs mixed with his. She could smell the oil on his fingers from when he had been tending to his sword.

"You think I care who it is that treats me like their inferior? I don't give a rat's ass who you are, the next time you try to diminish me for my sex I will call you what you are to your face, any time or date."

"You-you wouldn't talk to me like that if we had swords."

"Maybe not, but I'm not a samurai." Sakura's eyes swiveled sideways and her grin stretched when she noticed the courtyard open and cleared. "But I've got two arms just like you. Think you can use them better than me?"

"Only men wrestle," he bit.

"Only because they're afraid of losing to me," Sakura bit back, pressing into his space even more. "You afraid, shortie?"

"When I win you'll never call me shortie again," he growled, looking ready to murder.

Yagura pulled away and tied up his sleeves before storming out across the yard and planting his feet. Sakura did the same and tied back her hair as well before standing opposite him in the yard. She hadn't missed how Mangetsu and Inari had shown up as well. From the shadows, Haku watched.

"Ready to eat your words?" he growled.

Sakura smiled and launched herself at him with a deep cry, made for the hammer and the anvil. She hit him so hard he was pushed back in the dirt, even though he caught her. His hands reached for her, to hold around her but she was just as fast and just as thick, countering his hold with one of her's. He went low, trying to get her where she was weak and subvert her strength, but Sakura followed through with her hold and pivoted on one heel to lift him up off the ground and then drop him back into the dirt.

"Point one out of three, Sakura!" Kagura hollered.

Yagura struggled to his feet and wiped the blood from his bit lip away. He raise his arms again and scowled. "Lucky shot."

"You underestimated me," Sakura teased. She held up her arms and all the years with a hammer in the forge showed off. "Don't make the same mistake twice, shortie."

Yagura tried going for her legs but Sakura purposefully lowered her center of gravity and spread her legs enough that the opening of her yukata showed off the muscles there before she reached for his waist. He saw it coming and countered, moving fast, but when he tried to lift her and throw her to the ground she moved with him and overpowered him again, turning him up over himself until he was falling back into the dirt.

"Point two out of three, Sakura. Match point!"

Yagura glared up at her from the dirt and Sakura stalked over to where he lay seething. She lowered herself down over his waist and reached for the front of his robes, pulling him up. "You want to go round three and see if you can recover some of that pride of yours?"

"What the hell?" he hissed, struggling out of her grip with little success. "How?"

Sakura huffed and let him go, shoving him back as she stood up and backed away. "Don't think about it too much, I haven't lost a wrestling match since I was seven."

He stood and stared at her with maybe something close to disgust on his face. Sakura pretended she was unfazed by it. After all, it had been years since she gave up on the idea of being what her mother wanted for her.

" _How_?" Yagura asked.

Sakura shrugged. "I wasn't what you expected. Maybe you should raise your expectations a little or, I don't know, get to know the person you trash talk at two am on the roof with cheep booze."

She hadn't meant to let it slip, but at the end the words just came out and she couldn't take them back. She had meant to keep it a secret what she knew. She had lied to herself, claiming it didn't bother her, it didn't matter. She was fine. She didn't care. Whatever. It was no big deal.

_Lies_.

Sakura didn't look back to see if anyone heard the last part of her sentence or what the look on Yagura's face was. She left the plate full of rice balls behind and retired back to her room to clean up and get ready for Shizuma Hoshigaki.

Before dinner there was a shadow crouched at the corner of her door and then a knock. Sakura grunted and the screen slid back, showing off the kneeling figure of Yagura Karatachi. Behind him the sun was low in the sky.

"Yes?" Sakura asked, not sure what to make of his appearance.

"You were right."

She almost quipped back with something sarcastic and mean but held her tongue. "Oh?"

"I underestimated you because I didn't know you. I made rash judgements and trivialized your importance because of something as silly as your sex. I…was wrong."

"You're also short." Sakura let it slip before she could help herself.

Yagura flinched but then he nodded. "F-fine. Yes, I am also…short." His face was flushed with color when he looked up. She could almost read his expressions. "I'm sorry about the things you heard."

"You can only apologize for yourself and you have. Thank you." His eyes went to the sword set in the stand at the foot of her bed. "Are you…busy?"

Sakura nodded to the sword. "I was thinking if I did it now he would be just in time for dinner, which is a good way to come into the world."

Yagura shifted where he sat and she noticed him swallow before he spoke. "I've not seen this done before. May I watch?"

Sakura nodded once, not having the energy for too many words words. "I think he would like that."

She took the sword off the stand and held it in her hands, listening for his voice. It was like Kisame's but younger and lacking purpose that came with age. There was something like youth there too. Sakura spoke to the sword and felt the warm feeling that came whenever she dipped into the powers she still didn't understand. The room was flooded with a light she couldn't ignore even though her eyes were closed.

When the light dimmed Shizuma Hoshigaki was standing in his sandals in the middle of the room, rubbing his eyes. He had a lot of the same features as Kisame, but he was paler, shorter, thinner too. His eyes were blue and his hair was an unruly mess of waves and curls that was tied up and hanging in a tail off his shoulder. When he smiled his mouth took up too much of his face.

"Hey, that was neat," Shizuma exclaimed.

"It's good to see you," Sakura greeted, returning the smile. "Are you hungry?"

He looked down at his hands and then touched his stomach. "I don't know. I mean, maybe? I've not felt hunger before but I know what it is. I guess I could try it."

"Dinner is just as much for the food as it is the fellowship. We're getting ready to eat so you should join us, right Yagura?"

From the door Yagura just grunted and stood. Shizuma Hoshigaki laughed at the shorter male's disposition and threw his hands behind his head before following him out. He stopped on the threshold and looked back over his shoulder at Sakura who was still kneeling on the floor in front of the empty stand.

"Are you gonna eat with us?" he asked.

Sakura covered her mouth with her hand as she forced herself to swallow a cough. "I'll be right there, I just need a minute to clean up here. Go on ahead without me."

"Oi," Yagura snapped. "Don't keep me waiting just to bother her. Hurry up or I'll leave you behind."

"Sour puss, I already know where you all eat. I could still hear as a sword."

"Don't keep me waiting then."

Shizuma Hoshigaki made a sly comment about doubting how fast someone with such short legs could walk and Sakura heard Yagura roar about how no man is allowed to call him short-this of course excluded her.

Sakura bent over and coughed, letting her lungs scream and push out the foul air held in place too long. Blood came up and splattered across the mats. It was thick and meaty, like scarps of her lungs were coming up with the blood. Sakura grabbed a rag and coughed into it, staining the cloth red.

Her vision swam and she pitched sideways. The rest of her body started to betray her. She lost feeling in her legs first, and then her hands weren't working. She tried to raise her arms but her fingers wouldn't even twitch. She felt her consciousness and knew she was still awake, but her body was beyond her control somehow and even her neck started to go stiff while her vision phased out of focus, growing so blurry it was impossible to even recognize the familiar walls of her room.

Somewhere deep in her she felt broken, like a long crack was running through her heart and leaving it in two barely attached pieces that were only held together because of their memory from being one. She had broken herself and she had no one to blame but her own self.

_Stupid_.

She should have waited like she knew she needed to. She thought she could push herself in this area too.

She couldn't feel it, but she knew she was coughing and blood was coming up. She could hear it splatter across the floor. Some of it dribbled out of the sides of her mouth, making her look a mess no doubt. It was disturbing to feel so helpless in her own skin.

Sakura screamed at herself to wake up and move, to get up, to stand and be better. She willed herself to be better, but all her spirit couldn't make the broken parts of her heal up. This left her seething and cursing in her own mind as she let her heavy eyes fall.

She waited in darkness, still just barely alive.

In the same way she heard the voices of swords in her mind, Sakura heard the voices when they found her.

It was Kisame who rolled back the screen, complaing loudly that she wasn't at dinner to see what he brought back for her. His words cut off before the screen could roll all the way back and then he was screaming.

She felt him turn her over so she was on her back and suddenly there was weight in her lungs, making it even harder to breath. Blood had settled there. It made her start to choke and cough again. She heard the expletives and curses as he held her up and supported her lolling head while more blood came up.

Others came. Someone screamed to get Kakashi cause no one else knew anything about medicine. Someone mentioned that Sai was still scouting and someone else hissed about not hexing it with those words because 'Sakura wasn't going to die and no one needed to say goodbye.'

Sakura felt the pressure of faces, voices, and bodies all around her and wanted to cry. She didn't want to be seen or touched or heard. She wanted to hide away in the dark and never let anyone see this part of her. She wanted them to remember her tossing Yagura into the ground, or maybe over the fire in the forge. Those were parts of her she was proud about, parts she didn't reject.

"What's wrong with her?" Zabuza demanded, sounding angrier than she remembered him ever being. There was a transference as she was moved into a bed and propped up on extra pillows.

"How the hell did this happen?" Mangetsu whined, sounding pained.

Something new snapped and Sakura felt herself outside of her body. Suddenly she was in the corner, kneeling from what she realizing was another sword display. She was inside a sword without a voice, one mass produced and crudely made. Sakura had kept it in her room in the hopes of finding a voice there she could rouse. She was inside the sword now, watching and hearing everything it could if it were alive. Now it was just an empty vessel for her to dwell inside of.

Kisame was behind her head, leaning over her while Zabuza and Mangetsu were crouched on her side. Utakata came in with a bowl and moved to the opposite side of her body. He pulled the cloth off his arm and dunked it into the water before laying it across her forehead. Sakura could see from where she watched that her skin was flushed and pale simultaneously. In places she was so white the blue purple veins stood out. She looked like someone dying from consumption.

"She was fine today," Suigetsu mumbled from the doorway where he watched, hanging back along with Haku and Shizuma.

"She was fine a few minutes ago," Yagura growled, kneeling at the base of her bed.

There was the slapping of bare feet on wood as Kagura burst into the room from the opposite door, the one that led into the indoor hallway. Behind him trailed Kakashi with Inari on his shoulders.

Kakashi took one look at Sakura and set the boy down, brushing him back with an excuse that he needed to not be near sick people. Kagura still looked winded from the run but reached out to hold Inari back and whisper words to the kid that made him stay.

"We left to get her medicine. I thought you said it wasn't urgent," Kisame growled when Kakashi knelt down next to her neck.

Kakashi ignored the other man and started to pull at her face, checking her eyes and then her mouth. He felt her wrist for the vein that clued him into her heartbeat and frowned when he had trouble finding it.

"She said it was just stomach pains from not being able to eat. She never mentioned trouble breathing. Hey, keep the pillows there, she should be propped up. If she coughs again tilt her onto her side and be prepared to catch blood."

"You don't sound like you know what you're doing," Zabuza bit with a glower.

"Do I look like a doctor to you?" Kakashi's voice wasn't panicked or angry like the others in the room, and that only served to infuriate some of them. "What was she just doing?"

Shizuma took a step back, worry darkening his expression even more in a way that made Sakura's heart hurt to watch. Yagura looked back at the doorway before sighing. "She fought me earlier and might have tired herself out before…before summoning another sword its body."

Kakashi glanced about and counted heads before looking back at Inari and then Sakura. "Too soon," he mumbled. "She taxed her body doing too much too soon. Stupid girl."

The words made Shizuma Hoshigaki flinch and draw back even further. Sakura wanted to reach for him and beg his forgiveness because she knew what he was thinking, it was all over his face, the way he folded his arms and dug his nails into his elbows.

Kisame looked up at Shizuma and then down at Sakura and something in his expression crumbled. "I didn't notice and I asked her. It's my fault."

Kakashi clicked his tongue and pushed off the floor to stand. "It's no one's fault aside from her own. She should have known better than to ignore whatever warning signs there were. I need to write to someone. She needs a doctor."

"You can't do anything?" Mangetsu pleaded.

"Nothing more than any of you can. I-she needs a  _doctor_." Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and then cursed. "Fast would be good. It'll take anyone forever to get up here."

Zabuza stood. "I can bring someone back if you have a location."

Haku made a noise of protest as he stepped forward. "You just got back though."

Zabuza glared at the boy and Haku shrank, turning his face away as if the glare was a physical slap.

"Someone should bring Sai back. It's not to say goodbye, just to be by her side!" Suigetsu snapped. "He would want to be here."

Sakura wondered if the relationship between Sai and Suigetsu was one she misunderstood. Sakura thought Sai didn't get along well with most of the other swords because of his heritage. He wasn't from Kiri and he wasn't an old sword, he was the only sword made human that was forged by her might and efforts. Sai didn't get along well with the others so much, but Kisame seemed to tolerate him well enough and Suigetsu, despite their rocky start, seemed to like the tantou.

"Who did you plan on writing to?" Zabuza asked, standing and following him to the door.

"I have an…old friend who frequents parts of Kiri. I think I know where she is right now. She's a field medic and one of the better doctors I know. She'll be able to do more than me." Kakashi waved Zabuza into the hallway. "I'll show you on the map."

"It's nothing she can't recover from," Utakata softly stated, reaching to take her cloth and replace it with a newer one, just as cool as the first one had been. "Sakura will recover from this with time and rest."

"How can you be sure of something like that," Yagura groused.

The dark haired male twisted the old cloth to wring out the excess water and soak it anew, freshening it up. "Because I have to. Wishes are powerful things. If you believe and wish in something hard enough, it's that much easier for it to come true I think. I believe Sakura will recover."

"I-I believe in that too," Kagura said, looking to Yagura and then to Utakata. "I know Sakura will get better soon. She's so strong, after all. She was fine enough this afternoon."

Yagura snorted. "She should have rested if she wasn't feeling well."

"Weren't you complaining about her not doing enough?" Haku asked, voice thin like ice and just as cold. Several heads in the room turned to regard him anew.

"You think that's something you want to bring up now, after all this?" Yagura snarled. "We were wrong and we were asses, admit it."

Haku ticked, closing his eyes and leaning back with his arms in his sleeves. "Hardly my fault. It's not like she talked about this with any of us."

"You really run your mouth, don't you?" Kisame asked in a muted tone. He sounded too tired to be upset anymore.

Haku flinched, like the dead tone was more frightening than screaming and roaring. "I'm just speaking truth here. She brought this upon herself. Did anyone force her here? No one's asked so much from her, but she just-just ignored us."

"Haku."

The young man flinched and turned to the door to see Zabuza there, hearing everything. Haku's mouth moved as if to say something, but then he thought better of it and pressed his lips tight, until they were a thin line. At his side, both of his hands were curled into fists that shook with tension.

"When you're jealous you let your ugly side show," said Zabuza

The words shook his hands out of fists and blew his eyes wide. Haku bolted from the room.

Kagura called out and stood to chase after Haku but a barking order from Zabuza froze him in place.

"Don't. Let him go, he needs some time to cool down before he's ready to come back and be a bit more honest." Zabuza reached up and ran a hand through his hair. "Suigetsu, you'll need to make the run because I'm not familiar with the area Kakashi was describing. You're also faster than I am. Take your brother, the two of you track down Kakashi's doctor that way."

"Eh, me too?" Mangetsu asked, pointing to himself.

"The both of you will be better for it," Zabuza said simply. He crossed the room to his original seat at Sakura's side and folded his legs under him, preparing to sit for as long as it took.

The brothers nodded to each other and said their clipped farewells before getting the information from Kakashi and taking off for the base of the mountain. Kisame refused to leave and no one tried to force him out. Eventually the other filed out, leaving the two relics alone to watch over the barely breathing girl and hope she stayed alive the rest of the night.

"Don't be too soft on that kid. If he needs it…"

Kisame's words trailed off, eyes distant and barely focused. One of Sakura's hands was in his and he had taken up a habit of running his thumb over the scars left across her fingers from years of labor. She wasn't a princess, she was a callous covered laborer who made beautiful swords. There was no way she would have soft hands.

"Don't think too harshly of him, Kisame. In his own way, Haku also... cares."

Kisame snorted.

Zabuza nodded. "He's also a vain, spoiled thing that is afraid of being put up on a wall again like an ornament. He wants her to use him and more than that, he wants his new master to want him for what he is. He's still young and acts like it when he doesn't get his way."

"He's a little shit if he thinks he's the only one who wants that," Kisame grumbled. "Still no excuse."

"Ah, well he is a sword, after all."

"So are the rest of us."

There was a long night of silence in that room as the two relics watched on and Sakura slept on in body and watched on in spirit from the empty vessel of a sword on a stand. The night went on and on and on.

In was still dark but smelling of morning dew when Sai burst in and the two relics peered up to see the dark haired boy panting and whiter than normal. His eyes were shivering in their sockets as he had troubled focusing on her. Sai took a step in and staggered before rushing to her side and collapsing against her hip. His hands reached for her face and then her neck, feeling for the pulse there.

"She's stable kid," Kisame grunted.

"She's so still," Sai breathed. He exhaled loudly and the shaking subsided somewhat. A bead of sweat dripped off his face and he deflated against her side. "Sakura…"

Zabuza and Kisame watched, neither commenting while also refusing to leave. Neither was going to give him a moment alone with her while the threat of another coughing fit was still there. It was what Kisame was more worried about, since every other hour her breathing would choke and blood would be back in her throat as her lungs struggled to operate.

"What happened?" Sai finally asked.

"We don't know. We think she was just pushing herself with giving bodies to the swords. She did so many in quick succession."

"Sakura's never had a serious lung problem before. She's always been healthy and fit and…and…." Sai's voice trailed off as his eyes fell off her form. Something in his expression made Zabuza tense.

"What is it?" Zabuza asked, pressing.

"It's the forge. She…other smiths who worked in the forge long hours and with lots of smoke, smiths and iron workers, not sword makers, I remember stories about their sicknesses from the fire and the smoke. Sakura's been in the forge more recently. Is that doing this? It's her lungs."

"I don't think something like that would make someone as young as Sakura sick. It's only old men already on the threshold to death that get sick from that sort of thing," said Kisame. "No, whatever is wrong with her is probably tied up in us…in her powers as a sage. She pushed herself."

Sai's expression darkened. "Why would she do that? She doesn't need to give the world an army. She's safe as long as she's hidden here. I make money for us. I can keep her safe just fine."

"You're just one tantou," Zabuza growled. "Don't act so haughty."

Sai looked up and glared over Sakura's body. "She doesn't need you. She doesn't need any of you. I was the first and I'm the only one who's truly loyal to her, I'm the only one made by her own hand." The skin around his eyes tightened as his glare turned that much sharper. "She only needs me."

"Listen to the shit you say when you're pissed," Laughed Kisame without any humor to his tone. "You think you're the only one who can take care of her, eh? So what? If that was true you would have been here and Sakura never would have tried to summon any of us, but she did and we're here and you have to learn to deal with it, kid. She's not yours to hoard."

As Sakura watched and listened she felt pain in her heart, a part of her spirit that wasn't tied to her body at all. She listened to Sai speak like he was desperate, and that made sense. Who did Sai have to believe in the world but Sakura? All the other swords were different because they were older, yes, but also because they had all had different masters. Many of them had passed through the hands of several different such masters before being given bodies by Sakura. They had matured enough to see the world for what it was.

Sai was maybe two years old and had never known the touch of a different master. Sakura was his whole world, and he didn't know how to grow beyond that. It made him incredibly loyal, but also incredibly clingy. Sakura didn't want to say she hated that about him, but a part of her-the part of her that felt pain-wanted Sai to grow beyond her and understand more of the world. She wanted him to be able to spread his wings and move beyond what little he knew now.

"You wouldn't understand what I feel" Sai huffed, lowering his head onto the soft fabric of Sakura's bed beside her hip. He looked content to rest there and never move again.

"No, or maybe I understood well enough but then grew out of it," said Zabuza. "I've been young and I've been old. I remember both well. I'm old enough now to be able to see the differences in my thinking."

Zabuza then grunted and pushed up off the ground. He padded over to the door and let himself out onto the porch, sliding shut the warped wooden door behind him, but never leaving. Zabuza waited outside, keeping watch from his new perch in front of the door, silent but wary.

Sakura waited and watched from inside the sword, but minutes passed without change and her spirit grew restless. She saw nothing change for what felt like hours. It was unnerving how eerily still the boys could be when they wanted to. It was like they forgot about their human bodies and went back to being swords with flesh wrapped around them. She couldn't see their chests move or their eyes blink, (though Sai was turned away and Kisame's were closed.)

Sakura turned her attention back to herself and meditated upon her current predicament. She was out of her body, but still somehow tethered to it. She felt like she could return to it if she needed to, the link was there, but Sakura didn't want to crawl back inside her dying husk of a body. She was free of it and she wanted to explore such a new sort of freedom.

As if the thought was enough to do it, Sakura felt herself sink into darkness and then fall, fall, fall, fall, fast and faster, through blackness and grayness, blurring sceneries that melted into each other like wet oil paintings. She snapped from one location to a next and realized she had suddenly stopped, settling roughly in a new host, a new, voiceless sword.

* * *

End Part 1

 


	6. Chapter 6

The world was dull with night, color was leeched out of the details and all Sakura could see were the barest and most vague of shapes.

With what control she had, Sakura fell back into that rush and let her spirit travel somewhere else.

Sakura hung on the hip of a soldier just as voiceless in the land of wind, and then a dagger left in the rotting corpse of a friend just south of the land of whirlpools. She stayed stuck in a wakizashi being held by a boy barely ten years old, training with his father in the land of fire. He was barely able to hold the dull, old sword, but his father took him aside and whispered words of encouragement and direction in the dark hours of the night. With a swing Sakura looked back and saw their clothing marked them as the poorest of menial laborers. No wonder they were practicing in the dark hours, the only time when their masters wouldn't see them.

Sakura skipped from sword to sword, quickly losing track of how many times she had slipped and jumped. Sakura traveled the world until something kept her in place.

Stuck.

She tried to move on, to jump again, but she was too heavy to move. Somehow she had gotten herself caught.

' _In a trap,_ ' a new voice cooed. 

If she had blood in her veins that could freeze Sakura was sure they would. Orochimaru leaned over a table examining something in a room lit by a handful of flickering candles and one personal lantern. New light flooded the room and he turned to greet Danzo with a reptilian smile.

"It's still not done," the old man rumbled. His face was always frowning, but there was more displeasure than usual when Danzo looked at Orochimaru's workbench.

"I was saving the best for when you would be here to see it. It doesn't make a difference if they are sword or boy, they can hear me just as well either way. I've instructed him in your plans well."

Danzo didn't move, or speak and the inaction made Orochimaru huff in fake agitation. The sage stood from the table and flipped back the tail ends of his overcoat, letting them flutter back down around his legs dramatically.

"You are no fun to tease. I feel all my efforts to make you itch fall short."

"I do not tolerate your existence for the fun of it, sage," Danzo growled.

"No one does, do they?"

Orochimaru chuckled blithely with a casual wave over his shoulder. He then turned and grabbed the sword off the table and turned it over his wrist once before pointing it at Danz. He let his fingers go a little slack and the point of the sword turned up, the weight of the hilt bringing it down and turning the horizontal object vertical.

Slowly, as if he enjoyed the dramatics of it, Orochimaru let go of the sword just as a light started to bloom from deep inside it. There was a burning flash that erased sight for a moment. In the next instance the light was gone and in its place stood a man with short dirty hair and clear blue eyes like a demon's.

"He'll be perfect for what you need. He'll fit right in with the other field medics."

Danzo approached the sword made man and stopped close enough to reach out and touch the younger man. He grunted, nodded, and then turned back around. "Come with me, boy. I'm assigning you to the 19th Division under Terai here."

Out of the shadows stepped a figure cloaked head to toe in gray and wearing a white animal mask. Sakura saw the mask and remembered hearing ghost stories about dead men who came back for vengeance wearing such masks. Terri's mask had three eyebrow-like markings above each eye hole and a red cat-like nose, making it look almost like an animal she could recognize, while still maintaining that element of the bizarre.

Sakura's brain sluggishly noticed something else: 19th Division. It sounded like the military talk that came right before a war. Danzo was equipping his divisions with sword born fighters supplied by Orochimaru. It smelled like conquest through and through.

"I will expect the other swords no later than the end of this week, Orochimaru. You know I am on a tight schedule."

Orochimaru hummed loudly, folding his hands behind his back and inclining his head in a mockery of a bow. "You want them that soon you're going to have to train them yourself. I'll give you what you ask for when you ask for them, but the quality will be shoddy. You want that when you're pushing into a foreign country filled with capable soldiers who know their own terrain better than you?"

Danzo growled. "You've had just as long with them as you have with this one. Why does it take you so much longer?"

"Well, for one thing, Terai was a bit more sane to start with. These blades from the slaughtered Kaguya clan are just as batshit crazy as their unfortunate wielders. They're a bit too wild to depend on just yet."

The Kaguya clan was a clan the lived on and around Kiri. They were a wild roving people and they knew the environment of the land of mist better than strangers. It made Sakura chill.

"How long do you expect to keep me waiting this time?"

"I can get the first dozen to you in two weeks, and the rest in another two weeks after that."

"I don't like to be kept waiting."

Orochimaru's eyes slithered around the room, taking in the reflection caught on multiple hanging swords that Sakura only just noticed. The room was littered with blades.

"Don't make the mistake and think I'm as free as one of your concubines. I have plenty of work to exhaust myself on. I've been taxed quite heavily this past week tracking down your little runaway."

"Yet you've had no luck with it."

"Oh, I wouldn't rely on luck. I'm banking on my skill."

"Arrogant snake." Danzo swept out of the room and over his shoulder he called. "I'll be back in two weeks."

The door to the outside closed and the room went dark. Sakura watched as Orochimaru stayed standing in the same position, looking at the closed door with a frozen smile before slowly turning to the wall of swords she was hanging on. His smile stretched up to his eyes and in the firelight they burned like saffron embers sunk in his skull.

Sakura tried to leave, tried to fall back into the rush and spirit away, back to her body, but the rush was gone. There was nothing to fall back into and Sakura felt solidness around her like she was literally trapped by stone and walls.

"Don't bother little girl," Orochimaru taunted. "I've been luring you here for days. Now that you're finally here I'm not letting you go so easily."

Sakura's fear surged and she wanted to scream. Maybe Orochimaru heard her because his eyes grew brighter as his grin split open and a deep, hacking laugh, filled the room around them. Sakura cursed his name and just just laughed harder and louder.

"Struggle all you want, you're on your own here, and I've got years over you, little girl. I'm the master of the magical world and you're more hopeless than a gnat in my web. You think you were free in a place where steel and arrows couldn't reach you? Maybe my men can't track you down, but that doesn't mean you're safe."

Orochimaru reached for the sword she was trapped in and pulled it off the wall. Sakura felt herself moved like a lightning bug caught in a glass cage. He dropped her onto his table and she saw her sword's reflection in the other blades around her. The sword was wrapped in paper wards inked with magic amplifiers. The sword literally was a prison designed to draw her towards it. The dizziness over the past few days started to make sense. Taxing herself and pushing herself beyond her limits made her susceptible. Anytime she used the sage magic, she risked triggering Orochimaru's trap for her. They were both sages, drawing from the same well of magic.

"Let me go you bastard! I'm not anything to you." Sakura seethed from within the blade.

Orochimaru settled into the seat at the table and propped his head on his hand, mocking her with a fake smile.

"You're nothing to me? Oh, but my dear, you're my everything. You're the bane of my existence, the thorn in my side, the gnat in my ear, and the blight on my perfect plan. There isn't room enough in this world for two gods and I'll strike down anyone who dares to even threaten my reign."

"That's not right," Sakura yelled, feeling frantic energy running all through her.

His reply sounded like a hiss. "You're the bug and I'm the boot and it's your destiny to be squashed."

"Screw you!" Sakura screamed, fire filling her blood as she pressed up all her energy and set against the binds around her.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes at her efforts but the quirk in his lips was there when Sakura snapped and felt the blood in her throat again. She didn't have a throat, but the sensation was there and she collapsed from the far parts of her prison, collecting her edges unto herself.

"Yes, that's what I thought," he hummed. He tapped the sword and she felt a shudder run through her. "Have fun rotting in steel my annoying gnat of an advisory."

And in the moments after that Sakura nearly went insane.

* * *

Time was a thing she could no longer understand. It was always dark and always quiet and always lonely. She couldn't see anything without the lights, she couldn't feel anything except her restrictions, she couldn't even hear anything outside the sword thanks to the wards. She was cut off in the most insane way imaginable and it drove her nearly mad.

She tried calling for Sai, for Kisame and Zabuza, even for Kakashi and then the others. No one ever heard her, or if they did they were never able to reach her. She was truly trapped and alone. 

She collected herself in the dark and grabbled for what was left of her sanity by thinking of her new family. Sai was the first person she though of. He was so awkward without the social graces that came with time. How was he any different than a three year old? He could kill better than any trained assassin but still bugged her about sleeping together like a child. 

She thought of Kakashi next. He always had his nose buried deep in the peach colored pages of a stupid erotic narrative like it was the only thing that kept him alive. She wondered about that, how he went to that first before the bandages that could help his wounds after a mission. She thought about how he asked her, for the first time with a humble tone, for life to be breathed into his simple knife and how it became a boy he doted on. The was more to the bastard than his sarcasm it seemed. 

She thought of Kisame, kind and boisterous and larger than life. He had an annoying habit of bringing her gifts that made him too happy to be discouraged. She could tell him to cut it out, but she knew he wouldn't.

Both him and Zabuza were mountains but Kisame moved like one, while Zabuza was content to fade into the mist and go unnoticed. If Sakura never made it out she'd never get to know Zabuza better like she had wanted to.

Suigetsu and Mangetsu, the brothers who were like night and day versions of one another came to mind next. Mangetsu was all manners and principal while his brother Suigetsu broke his words and slurred his standards. Suigetsu was a bit of a brat, but Sakura forgave him for it all when she saw how he tried to connect with Sai. More than the other swords, Suigetsu tried to draw Sai out in conversation and act like a friend. 

Kagura was a boy like Suigetsu, but instead of a brother he had Yagura. The younger sword, Kagura was quiet and polite, but not in the same way Mangetsu was. Kagura was timid and cast his eyes down too often. If he grew closer to Sai and Suigetsu that would be good.

With every memory Sakura felt a little bit more grounded.

"I'm going to get out of here," she promised herself. 

She remembered her fight with Yagura and the way he humbled himself later on. He bowed his head and admitted his faults and that was big of him. She was proud of him, and wanted to see more of what he would do once she broke free. She was going to break free and she'd meet him again, and maybe beat him at wrestling once more. 

Utakata. She remembered reading about the series of events that made him into such a famous blade. The man was gentle as a moth and just as soft, but he was a blade almost as bloody as Zabuza. He had been the sword of many terrible masters remembered by history for their cruelty. Yet he was still as kind and sweet as a lamb. He complemented her cooking and took naps in the sun with his friends. Sakura knew he was a strong spirit and promised to get to know him even better once she was free. 

And then Haku.

_"I'm just saying I'm not impressed yet."_

She didn't think he liked her very much, and it was hard to admit that, since all the other swords were pleasant or at least positive towards her. Yagura needed to come around, but eventually Sakura had won him over. She didn't know if she would be able to do that with Haku.

'He sees his place as next to Zabuza, and I'm getting in the way of that,' she mused, remembering all the times Haku got upset and stormed off. 

The last of her blades was Kisame's descendant... Shizuma. Sakura wanted to get to know him better. He looked a lot like Kisame, with a wide smile and blue tinted skin, but she was sure he wasn't just a copy. What made him unique? She wanted to know. 

"I'm going to get out of here," she promised herself. 

The promise was the only thing keeping her sane. 

Orochimaru did come back once or twice. He gloated and smiled and snuffed out all the lights and even laughed when she screamed her curses at his retreating back.

"You're going to regret what you did to me and Sarutobi!"

"And how is that?" he asked. "Will you make me?"

Sakura snarled at his teasing. "One day I will get out of here and when I do I'll remember your face. I'll take it to bed with me each night and dream of tearing it apart."

"As much as I'd love to be in the dreams of a cute young maiden, I prefer keeping my own lovers warm at night."

Sakura gagged at the thought of anyone embracing such a vile human being.

"I'm a god, but I still have desires," he laughed.

"You're no god. I'll prove it to you when I kill you."

He chuckled again and turned out all the lights. "You're welcome to try my little prisoner." 

* * *

 Sakura thought it was maybe two days before she felt something change. She forced herself to press up against the boundaries of her prison and felt them weaken.

She had rested and she had steeped in anger long enough that she didn't even hesitate.

With everything inside her Sakura raged hotter than the force and spread herself far and wide. She hit the boundaries and then kept spreading. The pressure around her mounted and she heard a sound that made her want to cry. A tiny tear, then another, then a longer rip and then shredding as all the wards were desecrated and the boundaries broken down. With a cry Sakura surged back into the rush, back across the countries, back into the light, and back into her body with a scream.

Sakura bolted upright in a cold sweat, still screaming and gasping. Her body shook like it was a glove she was still trying to fit into. She convulsed and fell backwards in her bed, twisting sideways and then settling with a shuddering gasp.

"Don't touch her yet!"

Sakura forced her eyes open and saw the face of a woman, and then another. She blinked and noticed there were three new women in the room in addition to Sai and Kisame. The door was open and Zabuza stood there with Haku just past his shoulder.

Sakura coughed and swore when she breathed in clean air and didn't hack up anymore blood.

"You're back, you're safe," the first girl with short brown hair and purple marks on her face exclaimed. Her hands reached to grab something off Sakura's forehead.

Sakura felt the stick of honey on her skin and looked up to see a ward place upside down in the girl's hand. One ward against another. No wonder the barriers felt weaker than before.

"Who?" Sakura could only manage one word.

"I'm Rin, that's Shizune," she said while pointing to a woman with short black hair before moving her index finger to hover in front of the last blond woman. "And that's the legendary sage princess Tsunade. She's the one that drew the wards."

Sakura nodded once before letting her eyes falling shut and her body limp.

"Sakura?" Sai called, reaching for her. This time Rin didn't warn him back and Sakura felt the boy's hands on her arm. She turned her hand over and flexed her fingers and he reached to grab her hand and hold it back.

"Damn," Sakura murmured. She forced her eyes open and then shifted to try and prop herself up on her elbows. "That was a fun trip I never want to go on again."

The stern blond at the end of the bed cracked a smile. "I imagine that's the understatement of the year if you were where I think you were."

"Orochimaru's dungeon of nothing," Sakura grumbled. She forced herself up on her hands and reached for her face, feeling it like she was sure it wasn't there. "He's building an army for Danzo."

The others in the room went still at her words but no one said anything.

"He had a…a bunch of Kaguya swords from the Kaguya clan in Kiri and…I think he's turning them so that they can be terrain specialists in Danzo's army. That's what it sounded like when Danzo was there."

"You were there when Danzo was in the room," the dark haired woman, Shizune, gasped. "Tsunade, that confirms Lord Jiraiya's theory."

"You sure you remember correctly, girl?" Tsunade asked, ignoring Shizune. "Being separated from your body for so long can make lesser men go mad and remember things that never were."

Sakura coughed and scratched at her scalp, brushing her hair back with her fingers and noticing how greasy it had become. "No way," she said. "I remember everything vividly. The only thing that's fuzzy is my perception of time. Was it two days I was gone?"

"Try four, kid," sighed Kisame. Sakura turned and saw him looking worn out but he still released a tired breath as he ran a hand through his own hair. "Tsunade got here yesterday morning and's been working on you ever since. Rin here got your body stable four days ago when Suigetsu brought her back."

"If that hadn't happened, you never would have survived the strain coming back," Tsunade said. "It was a group effort."

Sakura swallowed and bent her head down, touching her forehead to her knees. "I can't thank you enough. Thank you for saving my life."

"Don't waste your breath, it wasn't an entirely noble act on my part. I live to be a pest to that old snake. I've not been able to do anything annoying in far too long and I'm glad I was able to put a little piss in his morning tea if you know what I mean," said the older woman. Her smile at the end was almost not there, and Sakura imagined the other sage must be exhausted on her own end.

Sakura swallowed again, feeling dry. Before she could say anything Kisame had a cup of water and was pressing it into her hands. "Here, drink it all. You're barely alive as it is. We're feeding you soon, too. Damn, you nearly gave us all heart attacks for every day you weren't here running around."

Sakura almost called him a liar jokingly, but thought better of it after the water disappeared down her throat. "Sorry for making you all worry. I hadn't meant to…and I had no idea that Orochimaru was doing anything like that. I thought he forgot about me."

Tsunade snorted. "Hardly likely. The piss ant is scared of few things. Be proud to be one of his fears."

Tsunade stood and gestured to Shizune. "We're going to get Kakashi. I imagine that he'll want to know about what you heard and saw. That information needs to get to Mei as soon as possible if the snake really is planning an invasion like we feared."

"That's what it sounded like. I'm not sure when that's going to happen, but Orochimaru said he would have the Kaguya blades done in four weeks."

Said spoke while wordlessly observing the blonde woman. She was beautiful in a way women in power often were, with a back built with perfect posture and a set of eyes that had seen too much to not be hard by default.

Beyond that fuzzy idea Sakura also took note of how the woman was dressed. There were no fancy robes or shawls or fine kiminos. The woman wore a simple yukata cut shirt left liberally open in the front and complementary trousers that didn't even reach the end of her calves. She didn't conform to modern styles, but wore whatever pleased her it seemed.

Sakura felt a stab of envy in her heart she recognized as admiration. What a strong woman. She was beautiful in traditional ways, but broke the boundaries in other ways. Sakura wanted to be like that one day.

"Lovely. It looks like I might have to get my hands dirty again after all. Come on Shizune," said Tsunade. She turned back once more to look at Sakura and smirked. "Get better soon, we will have work to do."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a bit of extra content, not a lot, but enough. (About 1.5K worth.) Most of the chapters will be the same, just polished and edited for stuff I miss while typing, but I'm rereading everything and actually enjoying the story again, so sometimes I can't help but add things.


	7. Chapter 7

It felt like Sakura hadn't been gone at all when she went back to work. She used the early mornings to run and exercise The muscle was still there, and she felt angry enough to hone it further. Sai stayed close to her the whole time and refused to let her out of his sight except for baths and few other very rare occasions. He didn't cling to her side, but was always close.

"We need you to run surveillance for this mission," Kakashi said one day.

Sakura held herself still on the edge of the roof, straining as her arms burned from keeping herself upright for so long. She paused in the middle of her pull ups.

"I can't do it," Sai said, never looking up at Kakashi.

Sakura dropped from the ledge and turned, grabbing for a cloth and wiping it across her face. "Sai…" She threw the sweat rag aside and fit her hands over her hips. "Honey, you can't keep moping like this. The others have gone on missions and they need you for this."

"You need me."

"I'm fine."

"You need me more than they do."

She shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Honey, I'm sorry I scared you, but I swear I'm fine. Tsunade and Rin are here helping me out, and there's Shizune and Kakashi and many others who are here being helpful and keeping this place fine. I'm going to be okay."

"I wasn't meant to be apart from your side. I'm a tantou. I'm supposed to be here, next to you, where you can reach me."

Kakashi stared at Sakura over Sai's face sending her an unreadable expression she understood well enough with the context. Her scare had shook Sai more than the others and no one would be able to restore his faith and confidence better than her.

Sakura crouched down and reached for his hand. He reached back for her easily, looking up shyly with eyes filled with hope, but her face was not warm. "Sai, I need you to do this for me. Go scout with the team. Be my eyes in places I can not travel."

His face shook, but she held his hand firm when he tried to pull back. "I-I…" She watched him swallow as he struggled with his desire to serve and be used against his desire to stay and see her safe.

Sakura held his hand a second more and stood. She didn't say anything more, but turned back to the doorway and jumped back up to continue her chin ups. She got through four before Sai stood to leave with Kakashi.

"Would you have done it differently?" Sakura asked over her shoulder. She didn't stop, but pulled herself up again and again.

Zabuza snorted from the shadows softly, barely making a sound. "Nah, probably not if I were you. If I were me, I'd tell the kid to scram and then kick at the dirt."

Sakura chuckled. "How did that help Haku?"

"Not at all, the kid's still glued."

Sakura dropped down, finishing her count at thirty five. Her arms ached but it was a good ache. Unlike the other days, Sakura was in a short yukata that was dingy enough to sweat into freely and discard after a bath. The sleeves were ripped off and the front hung open enough that the upper portion of her bandaged breasts peeked through.

"I'm not sure I would be any more successful with my shadow if I did what you did."

"Maybe not, but is that really the point?"

Sakura reached for the water and drank freely. "Sai is young but not too young for this to still be acceptable. I need him to grow. I need him to mature."

"He will."

Sakura chuckled. "I feel like a mother."

"You're too young to be a mother," Zabuza responded calmly.

It was too casual and the words were out before Sakura could stop herself. "I was once, almost."

She realized too late what she couldn't take back. When she looked back Zabuza was staring at her more openly. She felt hot all over when he watched her.

"I'm sorry, don't-oh, please forget that. I'm not sure what I meant."

He watched her a second longer and then nodded slowly. "Sure." A beat passed and then, "Are you okay?"

Sakura forced an ill fitting smile onto her face. "I had forgotten, honestly. It was a long time ago and I didn't tell anyone about it."

"Do you want to?"

Sakura stared around them. They were a little ways away from the rest of the manor and in a pretty open clearing. She couldn't hear any more voices nearby and knew that most of the boys were either getting ready to leave or already off somewhere in Kiri doing business.

"Maybe," she admitted.

Zabuza didn't say anything but he sat down in the grass under the single tree and Sakura paced over to join him. He offered her a snack from his pockets and Sakura thanked him for the mochi treat.

"It was when I was like…twelve or maybe younger. I know it was right after I started bleeding and my mom wanted me to be a housewife and sometimes she forgot I didn't want to be her. It was the son of one of her friends and he was only eight or nine years older so it was okay and acceptable."

Zabuza was quiet as he listened to her.

Sakura ducked her head, avoiding looking at his face as she went on. "I wasn't forced, I went along with it because I thought that was what I wanted in order to be happy. It's what everyone said I should do and it's what all my friends and the girls my age were doing. It would have been weird to do something else, but I realized pretty soon that the life I had been fit into wasn't for me."

"Oh?"

Sakura rolled her shoulders and faced forward, looking at the sky and the world in front of her like it was too hard to turn and see Zabuza there, sitting next to her and hearing everything.

"I was too young and couldn't carry a baby to term and it all scared me too much. He... he didn't want to put up with a hysterical wife. I ran away to the one place I felt safe and I stayed with Sarutobi ever since."

"The guy…"

"Ended up remarrying and then dying from some stupid sickness. I guess that makes me a widower? Does it count if you run away and he marries someone else?"

She forced herself to look back and see Zabuza. His face was tilted down, staring at the grass. "Doesn't matter," he grunted. "You're here now and that's just something in the past. I can't relate and I think I can only begin to understand parts of what you must have felt."

There was a moment of silence between them before he spoke again.

"Does it still bother you?"

"Honestly I hadn't remembered it until just now. It was so long ago and I feel like that was a part of my life when I wasn't being honest to myself, so it doesn't count." Sakura ducked her head in her shoulders. "Also, people are nicer when they think you've never been married. It was better for business to cut those ties and pretend it never happened. It didn't bother me. You know, a seer once told me I didn't have a red string of fate or a future in love. No, my thread of fate is a tassel on the hilt of a sword apparently."

"Like I said, it doesn't matter. What happened doesn't change you, who you are, or how you treat others. You're a lot more thoughtful than you know."

Sakura buried her head in the space between her knees and chest. "Can you do me a favor? Please don't tell the others. Don't ever mention it. I'm not ashamed of it but…I don't feel like that's who I am and I don't want people treating me differently." She peeked up between the stray strands of pink. "Please?"

"Of course."

Sakura closed her eyes and whispered to herself softly. "Shit."

Zabuza grunted, asking her without words what her curse was for.

"I think I'm the same as them." She looked up and he was still watching her, waiting for her to go on. "I think that I'm just like all of you, all wanting to be used. I used to think that might be a strange trait for all you to have but that's what I wanted too. I wanted to be wanted, to be valued, to have my name mean something. I wanted someone to see me, the real me, the me who was honest and true to herself, and not think her…lacking."

"Yeah," Zabuza agreed. "You're one of us. Too late to run away from it. We're all using each other and that's the lifeline we need."

There was a long moment of silence that was perfect as it stretched out undisturbed between them. Sakura took another bite of her treat and thought about her time with Sarutobi, about her time trying to learn what he knew. She remembered the rush of pride when her sword was finished and sold and the swell of relief when another commission came in…for her! She was wanted. Maybe she hadn't been perfect housewife material, maybe that meant she would never be wanted, but at least in the forge there were people that wanted a piece of her.

She was no different than all the others. Deep down, she wanted to be used just as much as them.

* * *

That night she helped Yagura with preparing dinner. He was obviously more skilled in the kitchen when it came to preparing food, something about one of his previous masters loving to cook as a pastime. She showed him a thing or two about food back in her country and the meal that night benefited from it. Half the boys were out on jobs, but that was okay. Tsunade, Shizune, and Rin still stayed and were more than grateful for the meal.

In the morning she found Suigetsu and Kagura and while the sun was still climbing she started tutoring them in wrestling. Yagura said he would 'watch' for the first few lessons, but halfway through he got up and decided he needed to be a part of their training routine. Sakura worked with all of them, teaching them grappling techniques when she could, and then they offered to teach her the sword, but she declined.

 _'It's too late for me to learn something like that,_ ' was her excuse.

It was getting colder, but the boys helped her gather wood and set up a fire pit for late night grilling. It was crude and unnecessary, but everyone who was left behind was there for it. The boys shared stories of previous masters. The girls shared stories of their travels. Sakura shared stories she could of things she had heard and then the night ebbed away their energies until everyone was returning to their rooms.

Rin slept in the vacant room next to Sakura's while Tsunade and Shizune took one just across the hall, making that far corner of the manor the 'lady' side. Rin and Shizune had retired earlier, but Tsunade hung back to speak to Zabuza in hushed tones about something to do with military movements.

Sakura was about to trek back when she felt someone's hand on her elbow. She turned and saw Yagura there, pink eyes narrowed.

"I'll walk you back."

Sakura almost choked on a laugh. "It's right over there Yag, I'll be fine."

"The agreement was you could call me shortie, not  _Yag_ , and it's still the intention of the manners that counts. I'll walk you back."

"Even though I beat you in wrestling?" Sakura teased, accepting his arm.

"I'm getting better. It's only a matter of time before I succeed in besting you."

Sakura hummed and rolled her eyes as they approached the porch. Sakura stepped up from the courtyard and turned around to see Yagura still standing in the gravel and weeds. The next big project was going to transform the innermost courtyard that the manor wrapped around. Half the rooms opened up to the innermost courtyard and it was where many of the boys spent most of their time. Presently, it looked like shit, but they were planning on making it look better.

"Thanks for helping out with dinner again. We love your cooking."

There was color high on his cheeks but he frowned with effort and averted his eyes. "Ah. It's edible, that makes it good enough." He forced his eyes to meet hers and it made his frown seem all the more forced when she just smiled back. "I hope you sleep well, goodnight."

He bowed stiffly and turned on his heel to head back in the opposite direction to the other rooms.

* * *

Sakura watched Rin as the petite woman listened to Sakura's heart and then her lungs. There was a bandage over one lung that Rin explained came from when she had to pierce the lung and remove the blood pooling there. Without such a procedure, Sakura might had drowned in her own blood.

"You're amazing. I've always admired doctors," Sakura said.

Rin looked up and smiled, putting away the listening cone. She had her bag open and behind her was a cabinet case as big as her back filled with many drawers. Each drawer held a different cure that could make her the most important person in the world to a sick man.

"It's nothing too major. I'm not as proficient as Shizune, but I'm learning. Whatever I can't do, Shizune and Tsunade cover for me. We make a pretty good team, but it's nice to settle at a place like this for a while. We've been on the road for years. It's too long."

Sakura stared off, thinking about Tsunade. "She's a sage then…like me. Why doesn't she travel with any sword companions?"

Rin shook her head sharply. "Oh no, she's not  _that_  sort of sage. There used to be a famous name for her and the other two because they were all raised together. There's Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru. Tsunade is the healer, Jiraiya is the fighter, and Orochimaru is the maker."

"I've heard of those three gods before," muttered Sakura. "I thought they were just stories."

Rin's patient smile was pretty on her lips. "They are…or maybe they aren't. But in the story of the three gods they heal, make, and fight off evil to develop the world from demons. When Sages appear they are one of three types. I guess you're the Maker, lucky!"

"I guess. I don't like how I am the same as Orochimaru though. The thought makes my skin crawl."

Rin's smile seemed to fade. "Yeah, he's a real piece of work."

Sakura nodded and then thought of something. "What about Shizune? Is she traveling with Tsunade because she's also a younger sage in training?"

"No, just a medic, like me. Tsunade can see wounds and illnesses in the body in a way we can only dream about. She's a world above us in power and skill, but we trail after her as well as we can because she lets us. I don't know how much she can help you, but I know she wants to hang out here and support you. It can be scary when you don't know what's happening to you or your body. We girls need to stick together during times like this I think."

Sakura couldn't help but laugh. "It's so good to hear something like that. I've never had a girl to be friends with, not since I was a little kid I think. I like how it sounds though."

Rin gave Sakura a funny look. "No girl friends? How did you not go insane? Men are idiots!"

Sakura's laughter doubled her over and she felt tears in her eyes. "Oh gods, it's true."

"No, seriously, they're idiots. They don't know any better and you're going to go crazy if you're not around someone with feminine common sense at least."

Rin jut her chin out and then clamped her mouth shut. She reached behind her and drew out a sword wrapped in velvet, too short to be a katana and too long to be a tantou. Sakura recognized the style once Rin removed the velvet wrappings. It was a woman's modified short katana, meant for a woman's hand with a smaller hilt and average blade.

Sakura's mind thrummed when she heard the echo of a voice, melodious and smooth as silk. It was a woman's voice.

"May I?" Sakura asked, holding out her hands for the blade.

Rin passed it over and Sakura hummed in delight. The sword spoke and sounded like a woman so well Sakura could practically see the sultry figure lounging nearby.

' _What rough hands for a lady, I should hope that means you know how to hold me right.'_

Rin pushed the sword back when Sakura tried to return it. "You can use this better than I. Please take this and you can give it a body when you're a little better recovered."

Sakura couldn't help but frown in spite of the wondrous gift. "Isn't this your's? I don't want to take it from you."

"I can't use her well enough to need it. You would be a far better owner and I want you to have it. The man who gave it to me was worried I wouldn't be able to protect myself if I wasn't with him, and…" Rin's eyes shuttered and then narrowed as if she was watching a far off memory. But she blinked hard and shook the memory away before looking up again. "But I'll be safe with Tsunade and if she gets her way, we'll stay here for a while anyway. You'll need medics if you're preparing for war, right?"

"The man who gave this to you…what happened to him?" Sakura asked, even though in her gut she felt like she was asking something better left unknown. But the words were out and there was no taking them back.

Rin chuckled sarcastically and stared off. "Oh, I married his best friend and I guess he's finally grown up enough to talk to me after it all. My husband died many years ago and he's not spoken to me since so I was surprised when he asked me to come here."

Sakura swallowed suddenly. "Kakashi! Him?"

Rin grinned. "The one and only. Yeah, don't let him go to waste. I know he looks and acts like a louse, but he can be very capable when he wants to be. Thanks for taking care of him."

Sakura tried to imagine it but had trouble picturing Kakashi being compassionate enough to commission a sword so fine as a gift for a woman he wasn't romantic with. It made taking the sword that much harder.

"I'll take this, but if you leave, I'm going to insist she go with you because I don't think I can take this from you when it was a gift from Kakashi. I don't know what he feels anymore, but I do owe him my life twice over and I don't want to do anything that might hurt him."

"It won't, trust me. You might think it was expensive or a commission, but it wasn't. It's had many owners before me I'm sure. You'll be able to ask her on your own, won't you?" Rin held up her hands, palms up, refusing to take the sword back. "I really want you to have a girl at your side if I'm not here. Don't worry about me or Kakashi. He'd understand."

Sakura turned the sword over and drew it partially out to see the gleam of silver steel. The name was etched into the side along with a signature. 'Paper Cutter.'

' _Mmm, but you can call me Konan for short. It's a pleasure to meet such a beautiful sage after long last. Please take care of me, Sakura_.'

* * *

Sakura was in the forge finally folding steel the next day. The fire was blazing white deep inside the hearth as Sakura heated, folded, and then heated the steel again and again, swinging a heavy hammer into the brick to make it bendable. Her arms started to tire but Sakura knew her limits were further and kept folding.

It was harder when she was just on her own so she had asked Inari to help her. He spread dirt onto the anvil when she told him to and held the ax where she told him to so that she could hammer into the chunk of steel to make it foldable. He was keen and eager to please, which made him perfect for the work. He looked like a child and sometimes acted like it, but when she told him to do something he did it perfectly without fail. He later told her he had been a carpenter's blade and in his heart he had a deep respect and admiration for the makers of the world.

It took her a couple of days and Sakura instead on folding the steel more times than she normally would for a single tantou, but several of the kera chips had been in her hip pouch when she was nearly killed and stained with blood. Those chips made the sword louder and fiercer and she was afraid of what she might make if she gave it anything less than her very best effort.

With Inari's help she combined the hard and soft steel bits to the blade, folded the metals, and then finally stretched out her white hot lump of steel into something longer.

"That's a bit shorter than a typical wakizashi."

Sakura hummed. "True, but he's going to have a wicked edge and be twice as fast. Originally I meant for this one to be a part of a set I was commissioned for. He has a brother and a sister in the possession of a Nara. All three blades were made using Suna sand."

"You have a name for him yet?"

Sakura grunted before sticking the cooled steel back into the fire and stoking the flames with the bellow. When she pulled it out again it was blazing white. Her hammer attacked it mercilessly. It began to cool and she moved to stick it back under the coals.

"His name is Gaara, Sabaku no Gaara."


	8. Chapter 8

 

Later in the day Sakura readied her station so she would be able to temper the blade in the morning of the following day. Inari said he would come back to watch but knew she didn't need him anymore.

He was just starting to leave when they both heard the commotion down below that came with Kisame returning from a successful mission along with his team. He was hollering for Sakura, saying he got her a present he wanted her to try.

"He always does that," grumbled Sakura. She hid her smile by pressing her lips tight and stood. The anklet of chiming coins winked in the light.

"He told you one of his masters was a big time sailor? Sailors always love to bring home gifts for their loved ones. It's like how merchants are."

Sakura reached out and ruffled Inari's hair until he complained and snapped at him to scamper off. She wiped her hands on her smock and tossed it back into the forge before following the younger boy down to the rest of the manor.

Kisame was all smiles when he saw her approach and held up the jug of high quality sake that was large enough to drown a household in. He watched her with eyes full of expectation.

Sakura sighed deeply and fit her hands on her hips with a resigned posture. "I guess we did need to celebrate you all coming back safe and sound. I'll help Yagura make something extra nice."

"So I got something you like?" Kisame boasted with color high on his face, turning his skin purple in places.

Sakura reached up and accepted the jug big enough to need two arms to carry. "You know me too well, my dear."

She saw Sai hanging back a little separated from the rest of the returning men and felt her heart hurt to see him unable to meet her eyes. Haku was also behind Shizune, arms crossed in the sleeves of his yukata.

"Hurry up and clean up. I'm sure you're tired and would enjoy something a little relaxing," she said.

Shizuma looked to his sword brother Kisame and then rubbed at his neck. "A swim would be really nice, actually."

"I know a place," Kisame answered before looking back over his shoulder at the others. "Any of you sorry ass boys wanna take a little trip for a dip?"

"Not remotely," Haku said, lip curling. "I'll retire to the  _baths_  if you don't mind."

Kisame looked to Sai and raised a brow. Sai simply shook his head, holding his arm and walked wordlessly away.

"Your loss, suckers." Kisame grinned back over at Zabuza and the other swords who had come out to greet them. "Anyone else wanna know where the cold ass watering hole is?"

"It's too cold you freak," Yagura complained under his breath as he drew up alongside Sakura. He then nodded to the kitchens and gestured that he would heading there to start dinner. Sakura nodded, nonverbally communicating that she would join him soon.

Utaka showed up behind Inari and then said he wanted to go swimming in the cold that prompted Inari to insist he should go to with the rest of them. Suigetsu was all too eager while his brother Mangetsu said he wanted to stay behind and help the others prepare some side dishes.

Sakura turned around with the jug and caught sight of Tsunade leaning against the doorframe across the courtyard, arms crossed in the sleeves of her robe while Kakashi stood to her one side and Shizune to the other. Rin was nowhere to be seen.

"You need help with that?" Mangetsu asked, drawing Sakura's attention away from the group of adults.

She blinked and realized that Mangetsu was talking about the jug in her arms. It was full and heavy enough to make a lesser man tremble under the weight. The thought of sweet sake made her grin and she laughed when she shook her head no for Mangetsu.

"Darling, I'm finally going to be able to drink my weight in wine, there isn't any help I need with that."

"Hopefully you'll leave a little to share between the rest of us?" Mangetsu teased in a hopeful tone. "I'm eager to sample his spoils as well."

The two of them headed back together to get to making the meal. A special request had been okayu rice porridge to somewhat celebrate the cold settling in around the rest of Kiri, even though it had been cold for a while up so high in the mountains. Sakura thought it was a fairly plain meal, but knew that it would be okay because, with three cooks in the kitchen, the side dishes would make up for it.

Mangetsu helped her gather the ingredients once they were in the kitchen and between the both of them they had the salted salmon cut into shredded lengths, picked plum, green onion, shredded seaweed, sesame seeds and parsley. Yagura was already washing the rice.

Sakura took the oysters and started to prepare Kaki Gohan, a seasoned rice cooked with oysters that would help make it feel like winter was truly coming. Mangetsu was behind her was chopping vegetables to cook in sauce and prepare.

Somehow, time cut itself in half and the sun sank lower than it should of for how Sakura felt. It seemed as if only a few minutes had passed when she heard Kisame and the others loudly make their way back into the manor. Mangetsu stopped them at the door and curtly told them all to wash up properly and make themselves neat for the meal that would be finished in another five minutes. When Sakura looked back she saw Haku and Utakata talking amicably with one another before separating, Haku going ahead to sit at the table and wait because he didn't need to get cleaned up at all.

"Heh, pretty boy," Yagura muttered darkly, narrowing his neon pink eyes. In the dark the color of his irises seemed more vibrant than usual.

"It's funny what we're serving, I think," Sakura said. It was an effort to divert Yagura's irritation that worked too well.

"Why is that?" he asked.

Sakura shrugged while washing the last bit of oil and seasoning off her hands. "I don't know, but it's just something I'm not used to. I love okaya, but I've mostly had it when I got sick or didn't feel well. It was a comfort food for me."

"Is it wrong to want to be comfortable when you're not sick?" he asked, almost worried by the unease in his tone.

Sakura couldn't help but laugh. "No it's not! Humans are silly and I wasn't the brightest for thinking I had to be sick to eat something I liked. It's comfort food and comfort is good all the time. Ah, sometimes I do dumb things, like denying myself harmless pleasures in life."

"I'm hoping tonight's meal is only harmless," Mangetsu bemoaned. "There is even more sake than we originally thought. Kisame left a second jug in the kitchen."

Sakura's eyes were flashing with glee. "Like I said, it's stupid to deny the harmless pleasures in life."

"Don't you ever worry about drinking too much and falling into drunkenness?" Mangetsu asked.

"Not me. I can hold my drink fairly well and I usually get full before I get drunk." She paused to consider the two swords watching her oddly. "Why do you ask?"

"It's not the same for us I don't think. I don't know my limits yet," Mangetsu confessed while Yagura just turned away with a huff to hide the color high on his cheeks.

"Ah yes, that is new territory, isn't it. You've had rice wine before though, haven't you?"

"Not more than a single drink. Kisame and Zabuza both can hold it pretty well I heard. Kisame has stopped by the bar a few times on missions. He says it's to get intel but he just likes to drink."

"And he's not the only one," a new voice interrupted. In the doorway the legendary sage Tsunade leaned against the doorframe, shoulder pressed up against the wood jam. Her eyes were keenly narrowed and her red lips pinched upwards in a tight smile. "I heard you had the good stuff, kid."

Sakura huffed in mock agitation. "You're calling me a kid? What does that make you, granny?"

Tsunade's brows shot up and her mouth split open in a smile that showed her teeth. "Oh, you want to have it like that, do you? Not many people get away with calling me old."

"What else is a  _kid_  supposed to call you?"

"I don't look like a grandmother do I?"

"And I don't look like a child, do I?" Sakura countered, hand on her hip, chin out.

"Maybe if you ask the right person."

Tsunade's eyes swept the kitchen seeing the food and then she pushed off the edge of the doorframe to stand fully on both legs. Her arms were crossed under her chest and held loosely while the sleeves of her jacket trailed off her shoulders.

"Dinner should be in two minutes," Sakura offered, reading the gaze as hungry.

"You did a good job and any guest worth their salt knows better than to pick a fight with the person who prepared and is serving their food. I'll behave, but no more granny compliments," the older woman teased.

And with that she turned and headed back into the connecting room.

Sakura helped the boys bring the food out into the kitchen and Rin rose up to help carry side dishes out, cutting back on the trips they needed to make. Kisame was already at one head of the table pouring rice wine for anyone who could drink and then insisting they all share in a toast.

"To getting the job done and getting to come home!"

Sakura held her dish of drink out and her arm went stiff. The table echoed with cheers as Tsunade loudly added a part about visiting good friends. The table roared again and then the dishes were tipped back. Sakura touched hers to her lips and then closed her eyes to knock it all back. It was easier swallowing the burning alcohol than it was the thought of this…this place really being her home.

She tasted a memory when the drink burned her going down. She remembered Sarutobi and the dirt and the familiar nagging and the semi steady stream of visitors to inquire about shipments and their updates. That had been the first place to feel like home to her and she had never, not once, been thankful for it like she should have been.

Sakura numbly passed a side dish across the table and passed along another one that Kisame was hollering for. The table was loud as people who were often notorious for being quiet, like Zabuza and Utakata, turned to engage in conversations. Wine had loosened their lips maybe a bit.

Sakura helped herself to seconds of the drink to help wash down her food. Sai was trying to edge away from Kisame who had moved to sit beside Sai. The larger male was trying to wrestle Sai under his arm in a 'brotherly hug' to prove their affection to the world and Shizuma had decided to join in. Sai was the meat in a Hoshigaki sandwich looking miserable as ever.

Tsunade didn't hold her drink well for as much as she loved it and was roaring in laughter and egging the males at the table on. Poor Shizune hung on Tsunade's arm and tried to calm the louder woman down, but Sakura caught Rin's eye from across the table and she was smiling slyly and shaking her head. She seemed to think it was a useless struggle. Whatever the Healer Sage wanted she would get and the rest of the world would have to just deal with it.

"You look pensive for a celebration. Might I be privy to your thoughts?"

Sakura turned and saw Utakata there, golden eyes creased with a smile as he waited at her elbow. Sakura wordlessly scooted to the side and made room so he could sit beside her with his drink in the place where Yagura had been.

"Nothing quite so interesting, I assure you," Sakura sighed. "I'm just feeling nostalgic for ideas of places people call home. The last place I thought of as home was left in blood and ruin and I'm just now considering what that means."

A little bit of the cheer left Utakata's golden eyes as he leaned in closer to her to listen to her words more seriously. "So what does it mean? What have you discovered?"

Sakura picked up a bundle of seasoned vegetables and chewed before picking up another to offer to Utakata. He leaned in and bit the food off her chopsticks without fuss.

"I wasn't grateful for what I had last time, but I should have been. I spent too much time being bitter and complaining about what I thought I deserved and looking at what I wanted that I never stopped to be grateful for the blessing that it was. I don't want to be like that again with you all and this place." Sakura managed a weak smile. "I want to treasure this a little more."

Utakata's saffron eyes were shimmering like pools of molten gold under sunlight when he smiled. Minutely, he inclined his head until their foreheads touched and she didn't pull away. When he sighed she felt it before she saw or heard it.

"You have no idea of the power you carry, do you?" He opened his eyes and Sakura thought she could count the lashes because of how close they were. "You're not the only one who is realizing how grateful they are. Everyone here at this table owes you their life and their freedom. You've given us the hands to wild ourselves and make something of our existence. I'll never repay that debt, but you never hold that over our heads."

"You help out a lot, don't sell yourself short. What I did was something rare, but it wasn't as extraordinary as you make it out to be."

"Have you ever had to kill someone?"

Sakura almost pulled away at the question but he reached up to hold her hair in a grip near tender that kept their foreheads together. "I've killed before," she answered even though she couldn't remember if she had or hadn't. When she first fled she had cut men down, but wasn't sure what happened to them after that.

"Have you ever killed women, the sickly, children, the unarmed?"

This time when Sakura pulled away Utakata let her, but dropped his head onto her shoulder so she couldn't see his face or the expressions he made. A curtain of dark hair falling to his chin obscured her vision.

"The freedom you gave us can never be trivialized. I'll never have to kill another person again if I don't want to."

"Utakata, I-"

He pulled away from her and braced on the edge of the table as he climbed to his feet. Standing over her, he bent down and pressed his lips into her hair and kissed the crown of her skull with reverent affection. When he whispered words to her they sounded wet.

"I will never deserve this, but I thank you all the same."

And then he moved to sit back down next to Zabuza at the opposite end of the table. Sakura saw beside him Kakashi actually talking to Rin. It was the first time Sakura had seen the two 'old friends' communicating in front of others. Sakura couldn't help but be curious as to what they were saying but became distracted when she heard Yagura behind her.

Sakura looked over to see the shorter male with clouded pink eyes standing on unsteady legs. He had a finished alcohol jug in his hand she didn't recognize and the color on his cheeks was almost as bright as his eyes. Behind him, Suigetsu was talking to Kagura about tolerance levels and body size.

"Cruel woman. You're not fair, not faaaair," he slurred, bending low and then settling down on his knees. He dropped his jug onto the table and braced there before turning around and facing her. "I was supposed 'ta be here. I left and he took ya from me."

Sakura grabbed the empty jug and laughed at the lingering smell. Whatever he had consumed was strong and he wasn't good about holding his own in the first place.

"Honey, what did you do? You're not supposed to have this much of the Baijiu, it's like ten times worse than the rice wine," Sakura laughed. She tipped the empty jug back and sucked off the last few drops. It tasted terrible and kicked like a beast with just a drop. It certainly wasn't meant for someone with a tolerance level like Yagura's.

With clumsy fingers, Yagura pushed the jug away from her face and pulled his body forward until he was nearly on top of her. He then closed his eyes and fell into her lap, latching his arms around her waist like deadbolts on a door. Behind him someone cursed and Sakura saw Kagura set his drink aside to crawl over in an attempt to reach his fallen relative.

"Come on, that's not appropriate," Kagura whined, flushing in embarrassment as he tugged on Yagura's shoulders. The older sword growled threateningly but didn't budge.

"He's fine for now. Let him stay and in a few minutes he'll be asleep," Sakura laughed. She reached down and ran a hand through his hair, brushing the pale locks back. His shoulders, which had been hunched sharply, jerked at the touch before melting away their edges as he relaxed into her.

"But he's being a bother," Kagura admitted.

Sakura hummed, still running her fingers through his hair, occasionally lightly scratching scalp. "He's fine. I'd tell you if this bothered me." She looked up and saw the younger boy's plate was still partly filled with unfinished food. "Did you not like the side dishes?"

He chuckled and sat back down in his seat and shook his head. "They're delicious. I'm having thirds!"

Sakura laughed, finishing the last of her food and washing it all down with more rice wine that wasn't as strong as some of the other drink, but infinitely more tasty. She had a high tolerance but that didn't mean she wanted to always put it to the test.

"Princess over there doesn't look like she likes my Baijiu!"

Sakura looked up and arched an eyebrow at Kisame's jeering. "I just love myself too much to wash down a nice meal with tar wash. I don't know what's wrong with you."

Beside his 'older brother' Shizuma laughed and then elbowed Sai who was smiling secretly to himself.

"Ah, is that so. You just can't handle the good stuff."

Sakura felt a groan in her throat and pushed it back, keeping it behind her teeth as she flashed a wicked smile. "Please don't ruin my nice dinner."

Kisame faked outrage and held his hand over his heart. His voice pitched high and cracked with effort as he dramatically scoffed at her statement. "What accusations. You think it would be me who would ruin your lovely dinner? And how would you claim I'd do this?"

"Kisame…."

"Certinally not with a little…." His eyes narrowed into devious slits that made his grin look half mad.

Sakura groaned out loud, seeing the rest of the table leaning in. "Please don't."

He slammed the extra large jug of high grade demon land Baijiu down between them. "-Drinking game!" he exclaimed, sending half the table into whoops and hollers.

Tsunade was already pulling out a ring of money chips to place down for bets. Shizune looked like she had given up and sat back with a dead look in her eyes, drinking from the nearest sake bottle. Rin challenged Tsunade and Kakashi started orchestrating bets between them.

"I don't want to hate myself in the morning," Sakura groaned. "Please no."

Kisame faked a pout, which was very awkward to watch on a man with his facial proportions. "I'll have to ask for a stand in then, because I'm drinking until it's lights out."

Sakura rolled her eyes and picked up some vegetables from a tray in the middle of the table to much on."Go ahead," she said around the food in her mouth.

Kisame turned to his side and the smile was still there. "What do you say, Sai?"

Sakura choked, eyes nearly bugged out as she braced on the table and coughed. Her eyes watered as she reached for a non alcoholic drink to clear out her throat. Her eyes, though red and watering, were narrowed defiantly in his direction.

"Ah, it should be fair enough, since he's your creation he probably has the same tolerance level as you. What do you say kid? You have any pride as the fairest of Sakura's blades?"

The words were too much of a taunt for him to resist and Sakura saw the moment when Sai decided to take on the tallest and largest man in the room in a drinking contest.

"Stop right there, fish face!" Sakura yelled, leaning forward across the table and slamming down her empty cup. "You want to get to him you got to go through me."

Kisame hollered in pure glee. "Don't mind if I do."

A series of empty cups too small to fit in either of their hands were filled and laid out between the pair. Nearly everyone on the sidelines had started to put down betting money and Sakura heard Haku and Zabuza arguing about who they thought would win. In place of coin, chore duties and randomly salvaged objects were wagered as well. Someone didn't want money but wagered a full body massage off of Tsunade who was, apparently, famous for them.

"Y'all gonna be sad as hell when you get stuck covering twice as many shifts," Kisame taunted, looking to Zabuza and then Utakata. The only one not betting was actually Yagura, who was nearly asleep on her lap.

"Shut up and pour, fish face," Sakura growled. She could already feel the headache she was sure to get in the morning.

"As you wish, princess," he chuckled, pouring out the drink. It reeked stronger and darker than the drops she had licked off Yagura's jug.

The first cup bit and the second cup bit and the third cup kicked a little bit, but was easier to swallow. Sakura had seen men go down after two cups of Baijiu and other drinks from off the continent. She didn't think that's how Kisame would be, but when he knocked back his forth cup and looked like he wasn't any worse off she started to worry.

Five cups in she could feel the sea her belly had become. Her skin started to itch and flush in what she hoped was a pretty blush-though she knew better. She covered half her face with her hand, spraying her fingers out wide to try and block anyone's view. It was a stupid effort on her part since everyone's attention was focused on her and Kisame.

"Where you come from, drinking like it's nothing?" Kisame laughed as he watched her swallow the sixth cup. He reached for his own when she turned the cup over face down.

"I'll tell you what I tell anyone who thinks I'm an easy out in these sort of stupid drinking competitions," Sakura said. She took her seventh cup and hated how she had to brace for it. When she looked up Kisame was watching her keenly and licking his lips. There was color high on his cheeks as well, but not as much as hers.

"Oh?" he prodded.

"In the fire country there's a god who likes to boast and prove to all that he's the best in all that he does. Kinder people call him the Rooster god or the Rooster Fellow, but most of us just call him the cock god for how much he crows."

Sakura reached for eighth cup and watched as Kisame swallowed his. From the sides some observers were making observations and comments. Sakura heard apprehension and admiration alike in both their tones. She looked down into the ghostly clear liquid and saw herself. She schooled her face into an impressive mask, retracting her hand and finding that strength again.

"And what about this god?" Kisame asked. Beside him, Sai grinned and his eyes flashed with knowing. He had heard this story before and knew it well.

"Oh, he's a terrible joke that's the representation of all male egos on this land." Behind her, Tsunade snorted. "So of course he thinks he's always the best when he really isn't and goes out of his way to try and prove an untruth. Like….when he comes down from the clouds to challenge men and women in wrestling or drinking contests." She caught his eye and grinned when she saw the haze in his black orbs.

"And let me guess, he came to you?" he asked, watching her drink everything in her cup before reaching for his own. When he set it down she didn't miss how his hand was slack around the cup.

"Wonderful prediction," Sakura purred. "Exactly so. He heard a woman was the best wrestler in the town and came down to challenge her, claiming he was only there to defeat the strongest, never mind how he hardly challenged any of the men in neighboring villages. So yes, he went down," she said while slamming down her empty cup. The effect was not lost on the audience as several flinched at the sound. It made her grin stretch. "Just like  _that_."

Kisame snorted. Sakura caught the way he swayed when he reached for his next glass. He downed it but winced as it hit him deep in his belly. Like Sakura, there was an ocean there and it was burning him out the same way it was burning her. She had just learned how to live with the burning instead of letting it consume her.

"And of course in the face of his loss, loss to a woman no less, he tries to recover with a new bet that he's sure he'll win. No one told him she's been drinking like there's no tomorrow since before she could bleed." Sakura didn't pause when she noticed Kakashi and a few other more prudish males flinch at the mention of menstruation. "So he loses that bet too and before he can dig himself any deeper he decides to bestow upon the woman a gift so that no one else may be able to beat her and sully his name."

Sakura drank and she couldn't remember the number, but she set the cup down and looked down to count how many cups she'd overturned. She was finally at ten. When she looked up Kisame was bracing his hands on his knees and staring too intently down at the three remaining cups that waited on his side. He swallowed and reached for one more.

"Ts a nice story," his voice rumbled.

Sakura watched him drink, watched the Baijiu spill out of the corners of his mouth as he leaned too far back and fell. Sakura knocked her next drink back and then reached across the table for one of his and drank that too. Slamming both cups down at once she shook her hands above her head like she was shaking off dirt and then reached for her vegetables to help soak up the sea in her belly. Her skin burned all over she felt herself go fuzzy at the edges. She was going to hate herself in the morning but she hadn't lost her senses and was still, more or less, in control of her actions.

The table around her hollered and laughed and Zabuza taunted Haku with a crooked grin while Utakata reached across the table to remind Suigetsu of all the chore duties he now had to cover. Rin was also mocking Kakashi for something while the lazy old pervert slid a couple of coins her way before Tsunade did the same.

Sakura grinned down to the opposite end of the table to smile wide at Tsunade. "You should have known better," Sakura called.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "You would think, but I'm notoriously bad with bets so I didn't want to jinx my losing streak here tonight."

Sakura laughed some more and reached for more vegetables. There wasn't much left but she ate what she could like she was a hunger that would never be full.

"You're warm," Yagura mumbled into her thigh, nuzzling her a bit more before falling a little more asleep.

"I've been called worse."

"I think we need to build a distillery out back," Utakata declared with a sake dish held in the air. "I've enjoyed tonight far too much to go back to a life without alcohol."

"You know the first thing about what that looks like?" Suigetsu snapped.

"Not a clue, the golden eyed male admitted with a cheeky grin. "What do you think?"

Suigetsu groaned loudly and buried his head in his arms. On the other side of the table Sai grinned over at Shizuma who now owed him chore duty before looking across the table at Sakura who was still chewing away on her vegetables.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very excited because the next part has newly added (but also poorly written dream smut that's never seen the light of day.) If you've read the old version, you'll see what I mean about the next chapter being different.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you know what a lemon is, be warned, ahead there be my pitiful attempts at citrus. I'm sorry, but also not.

Kisame roused about a half hour later and grumbled about a rematch but Sakura was already outside on the porch with a few others, drinking water and watching the stars. Mangetsu and Kagura, two boys she liked to think of as more sensible than others, were wrestling each other in the dirt. Sakura wasn't sure why, but was watching Haku to see if he would join them based on how red his cheeks were and how he swayed when Zabuza tried to help him up from the table.

Sakura watched the pair walk off and thanked Zabuza again for carrying Yagura back to his room. Her side had been unoccupied for only a second before Sai was there, hanging on her shoulder with his chin and his hands around her waist. Zabuza didn't say anything back but Sakura heard Haku loudly exclaim that he could walk just fine on his own and didn't need any help.

Sakura stayed up late, later than almost anyone. Kakashi and Rin had walked off somewhere together after taking Inari to bed. Shizune and Tsunade had walked back not long after Kisame. Before leaving Tsunade had reached down to feel Sakura's skin and cursed.

"You're doing it, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sakura coyly replied, batting her eyes.

"You're burning the alcohol out through your skin, I can feel it. How can you manage such a thing? I thought only Healers could do that."

"You don't think I tricked a god for this gift?" Sakura asked.

She snorted. "That story was the best part, but no. We don't have such a god in the fire country."

Sakura shrugged. "Like hearing the voices, it's just been something I've been able to do."

Tsunade touched Sakura's face once more, but this time it was to tap the younger girl's forehead. "I want to place a seal here, to protect you when I can't from sages like Orochimaru. He'll try again and next time you might not be so lucky as to escape. It's better to protect yourself now."

"In the morning?" Sakura echoed, pushing back her hair.

"Sure. Once my hangover abates we'll get to it."

And with that, both women were gone and Sakura didn't doubt that it would be very late into the next day when the older sage woke.

"You about ready to sleep?" Sakura asked.

She nudged Sai and when he didn't respond she looked down to find him asleep on her shoulder. It was easy to pick him up and carry him back to bed, but a bit harder to leave him as he clung to what he could, forcing her to leave the outer layer of her yukata, the coat she wore over her main layer.

She walked through the halls back to her room and paused when she noticed Zabuza's door was open. She didn't look inside but slowly slid it shut so it wouldn't make any noise on the track. It was late enough and she thought she might have trouble sleeping for some reason. In spite of all the booze she had burned most of it out of her body and that left her oddly energized. It was one of the neater side effects of being a sage, she finally understood. It made sense and suddenly her stupid story about out performing a god seemed less exciting.

Sakura slid the door to her room back and slipped in, nudging the dead lantern with her toe before drawing back the covering that hung from the ceiling in front of the door to the outside. She pulled it back far enough that the light from the moon could shine through the rice screen and highlight the rest of the room in shades of blue and silver. It would be enough for her to see by to change and ready herself for bed.

When she turned her heart stopped for a second when she saw the other figure standing still in the middle of her bed, yukata dropping off his shoulders. Haku's normally immaculate hair was slightly dissolved and he looked as if he had been sleeping…or sleepwalking.

"Shoot, I shut your door and you probably got turned around," Sakura said. She reached for him. "Here, I'll help you back."

Haku grunted at her touch and pulled away. "Nah," he mumbled."Don't wanna."

Sakura huffed and remembered how she was his least favorite person. Out of all the swords, he probably liked her the least and Suigetsu had actually tried to kill her.

"Sorry, I forgot you hate me."

Haku reached up and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Is that what you think?"

Sakura reached for him again, this time slowly. She didn't expect him to grab her and hook his heel behind hers. He swung her around and she landed on her bed, disturbing the pillows but doing no damage. She was too stunned to react, but by the time the anger came it was chased away with confusion. Haku was over her and his hair was a beautiful curtain shielding their faces from the world, s she was the only one who saw his tears.

"Idiot," he hissed at her.

She felt when his tears hit her cheek but didn't flinch. In the silver moonlight he was too beautiful, and though she couldn't ever remember being overcome with a desire to be with anyone from her new family in such a way, something warm bloomed in her.

"Haku," she carefully called, swallowing.

His hands hesitantly found her face and both his thumbs brushed over her cheeks in affection. "Why can't you just look at me more?" he complained. "I just want you to look at me and…and use me."

He had been kneeling over her but he pulled away slightly to tug at his yukata and Sakura jerked back when he began to strip it away. He was a sword made man, but with nothing to cover him he was very much a man and he was flushed pink with a need that made him only more beautiful. Sakura almost hated how it made her body react…almost.

"Hey, stop that, hey-" Sakura held up her hands and pushed him away when he reached for her, crawling over his wrinkled yukata wearing nothing but moonlight.

"I don't care," Haku groaned. "I hate it, I hate it, watching-watching-having to watch them all hang on you and kiss you and get close to you and you won't even look at me. I thought I was beautiful. Am I not what you wanted, am I not what you could find in yourself to desire?" He reached for the hand that pressed him back and pulled it to his lips to kiss along the wrist. His lips on her veins sent shivers all through her body and Sakura melted a fraction.

"You're drunk, Haku, you don't know what you're saying."

"I'm saying what I've been too scared to say!" he was quick to retort. "I'm not too proud to say it when I'm like this. I can finally grovel at your feet like I've wanted to so look at me now. I want to be with you please," he whined, cracking his voice on the whisper his words became. "Please, please just please look at me. I am debased before you."

"Haku," Sakura echoed, feeling pity and too many other things take up a place in her heart.

If she was less in control of herself she might have kissed him but she had burned off all the alcohol and knew better than to take advantage of a man in such a state…even if he was sinfully pretty and very much into her.

Haku's tears made silver trails across his face, reflecting the moonlight better than anything else. He looked like a fairy and he was completely bare and willing at her feet in her bed and three months ago before any of this happened Sakura would have never imagined herself in such a situation.

"I want this to be my place," Haku admitted, reaching down and touching the bed. "Have any of the others told you this yet? They've talked about it, you know, about how we're not allowed to ask or even to let you know. They're such liars, pretending like they don't wish they were here with you like this. Zabuza told me not to bother and even Kisame warned me off but I know they're worse than some of the others." Haku chuckled and it was almost a broken sound. "Wouldn't even mind sharing, those two."

Sakura's heart felt like it was going to leave her chest.

"Haku, you're still really drunk and this is no condition to be doing anything." Sakura inhaled deeply and pushed herself up. She then shoved Haku back so he stumbled off his yukata and pulled it up off the floor. "Get up and get dressed I'll take you back."

Haku laid on his back and made a sound of displeasure that did nothing but further ruffle her metaphorical feathers. He arched his back and showed off more of himself before Sakura dropped his yukata on top of him and stomped towards the door.

"I'm going to get Zabuza, if you have any sense left you'll be dressed by the time I come back."

When she looked back, halfway in the hallway, Haku had turned towards her and was watching her with wide chocolate brown eyes that didn't want her to leave. She made a move to leave further and he grabbed his yukata like he meant to finally wear it again.

Sakura paused to watch and made sure he followed through. Haku was slow about it, and clearly displeased with his current situation, but he still dressed and stood. A moment later he padded over to the doorway and stopped just before leaving her room. Sakura walked back in and pushed the door open wider, waiting for him to leave.

"I'll go on my own, but I…I may be drunk but I don't want you to think I didn't mean it."

Haku looked up through the curtain of his dark hair and Sakura saw the idea seize him. Before she could stop him, he reached for her and this time his lips slanted over hers. Wrist in hand, he pressed into her, cupping the underside of her head and pressing in close to her so that she felt all of him in that kiss.

Her lips didn't know how to stop him as he pressed his tongue into her and tickled the roof of her mouth in ways that betrayed his inexperience. Sakura staggered under the kiss but he held her as the last of her breath started to burn away. Before she could take no more, he pulled away and then kissed under her jaw once, whispering something before leaving.

'I don't think I'd share as well.'

* * *

 

Sakura slept in the forge that night, relying on the voices of the swords to keep her from burning away in her sleep from steamy dreams that hadn't haunted her in half as many years.

She dreamed she let him. She dreamed she pushed him down onto the floor and pushed apart his yukata herself, making him grin and tease her for her roughness. She claimed she didn't know how to be anything softer. He told her that was fine and she believed him.

“There’s no rush, I’m here all night,” he said before reaching up to kiss her neck before she pushed him back down again.

She dreamed she didn’t care he was buzzed and brave and likely wouldn’t remember in the morning. It didn’t mean that much to her. She just wanted to feel him and remember something from a long time ago.

“This is what you asked for?” she hummed. And just like that she forgot it was a dream shared between her heart and her shame.

Haku watched her lower her face between his knees, trailing kisses up his legs and thighs before stoping at the apex of his lower regions. Nothing was limp but instead straining and ready to be teased, soaking the front of what was left of his yukata. Making eye contact Sakura nipped lightly with just the edge of her teeth, making him cry out. She watched him bite his lip to keep the sound locked away as her lips moved. The fabric was brushed aside and he was left bare.

“You don’t have to hold your voice back, I don’t care who hears you,” she whispered, sounding nearly breathless.

“Only if you like the sound.”

“It pleases me to know I’m making you feel something.”

“Oh?” he tilted a single brow up in mock confusion. “You think you can do that?”

Her eyes were full of the challenge. “Watch me.”

She laughed and open her mouth wide enough to take him all in. Haku nearly screamed when she sucked at his head, wasting little to no time taking him completely into her mouth. She wasn’t slow and she wasn’t soft and she knew she wasn’t what he expected. He trashed a bit on her bed, seemingly overwhelmed and certainly flushed with how quick she moved. With one hand she teased his balls, pulling and pushing and caressing almost teasingly. With the other hand she reached up to tweak at his nipples which had gone pert and pink.

“Sakura-Sa-Sakura!” he exclaimed before gasping and nearly choking on his words.

Haku blinked and then groaned, seemingly gaining better control of himself in spite of her lips stretched around the base of his dick. She sucked hard and watched his eyes shutter in response. He looked as if he was fighting against her, trying not to be completely overwhelmed and failing with every stroke and pass she made with her mouth. 

Sakura pulled away suddenly and he nearly folded in on himself at the loss. He whined cutely but Sakura stood, stepping over him. She splayed her legs and let him see between her thighs how wet she was before she aligned herself with his member.

“What do you want?” she teased, loving how she was in control.

“I want it, I want you, I want you, I-I want you,” Haku gasped. His face was flushed a cherry pink, almost like her hair. “I want you to _use_ me.”

Haku ran his hands down his front, over his abdomen down to his hips until his hands were around the base of his shaft. He angled it up, using his thumbs to keep it where he wanted it. His eyes were tilted down, watching the space between them looking like he couldn’t drag his eyes away from the sight.

Sakura reached for his hair and yanked it lightly to force his head back. She kissed him on the mouth before pulling away with a pop. He tasted himself in that kiss.

“Tell me what you want, Haku,” she said again, eyes wide and wild in a way that commanded attention. He reached up to nip at her bottom lip again before she reached down to meet him in another open kiss. She closed her eyes to it, dipping in low and angling her head so she could taste even more of him in their kiss. When she pulled away a trail of saliva made his lips glossy.

“Damn,” he breathed, chest heaving.

“Is that it? Sakura laughed. “What else do you want?”

Haku reached up with his hands to grab at her hips, but she was stronger than stone and wouldn’t move for him. He trailed his thumbs into patters over her hip bones and then lower. “You,” he answered honestly.

Sakura angled her head back in time to let him kiss at her neck. “Try again, darling.”

“I want you.”

She made a clicking sound with her tongue against her teeth, reaching down between them. His eyes shuttered as she pinched one of his nipples. He tried to move his hips up again but she stayed just beyond his reach, teasing him with what he wanted most.

“You-damn! I want you on my dick!” When she laughed he went on. “I want you riding me all night long. I want to make love to you-I-I want to fuck you. Shit, Sakura, I can’t-m-much more please just-ahh!”

Sakura had dropped herself down and slid him into herself, pausing only once to adjust before moving her hips and taking the rest of him all the way in. She groaned, ducking her head into his shoulder and angling her hips a bit more to get the angle just right before pulling back, and ramming back in. Haku cursed again and dug his nails into the bedsheets as he braced from it. Sakura laughed into his neck and he hissed her name through clenched teeth when she clenched her inner walls around his member.

“All you had to do was ask,” Sakura cooed into his skin before pulling back and setting the pace that sent him to the stars.

He moaned her name and she swallowed the sound in another kiss. He was long enough to fill her and thick enough to satisfied her, but she was relentless in her pace, like she was the desperate one. Maybe she was.

He was content to throw his head back onto the pillows and let her have her way with him. She was the one in control of it all and he put up no resistance, even when she teased him with pinches and ticking touches down the sides of his bare chest. Her eyes were wide open for all of it, memorizing what she could and learning everything available to her. She wanted to know what made him whimper and what made him beg.  Sometimes she twisted away, teasing him with the way her walls would clamp down on his dick from a different angle. He almost pushed her away at times and it thrilled her.

“Enough for you?” she teased, nearly breathless.

“Not nearly,” he moaned, lifting himself into the next thrust. “More. I want it-all-mmm.” 

He hissed and grabbed for her hips to try and stead himself under her, but she was still too strong for him and and all his efforts to influence her pace or direction fell apart on a cry or a moan she inspired.

"Tell me with your voice, tell me when you've had enough."

Haku almost laughed. "Never!"

Sakura laughed, feeling the new fire in her belly as she took him. It was an old sort of fire she could barely remember and most of her memories weren’t nearly so pleasant. At least Haku lasted.

His hands were still on her hips when he spoke again. “Yes, use me, Sakura. Fu-fu-uck, use me…ugh. _Hold me_.”

She felt him tense up and pulled away in time for his explosion to stain the skin between them. She let him jerk once more as more of his seed spilled back onto his chest, reflecting pale moonlight. Sakura had a warm towel, still wet from the basin, that she used to clean the both of them up before kissing his dick and rousing it again.

“Sakura?”

“Don’t think that was it,” she laughed before stroking his cock with the wet rag that was still warm to the touch. “You said you wanted to be used, so don’t complain when I do just that.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He moaned in appreciation and his member twitched, starting to lift again.

“That’s it,” she said encouragingly. “You’re not sick of me yet, are you?”

“Never,” he admitted easily.

“Good.”

Sakura pushed him back down and left the cloth on his dick before kneeling in front of his face. She spread her thighs and grinned over her breasts while tweaking one.

“Have a taste.”

Haku reached up for her thighs to take hold of while his mouth lapped eagerly at her pink folds, spreading them wide with his tongue before diving in. Sakura didn’t stop herself from making those sounds of approval that helped him find the spots that pleased her best.

At points she had to close her eyes and bit her lips, but when she looked down again it was Haku’s eyes she saw. He watched her through it all, studying her for the details that helped him know her best. His eyes were bright with a hunger she recognized, even when she had to shut her eyes. She could feel his gaze on her through it all.

Sakura keened prettily but Haku never paused, not even when he felt her spasm around his tongue. It was right after he rubbed up against the patch of her inner walls that was just a tad rougher than the others. She gasped his name and she knew he felt his ego swell just like his member by the way his eyes flashed. 

His hunger was clear.

Sakura staggered back and Haku stood up to follow her to the wall. She grinned when she saw him stalking her. She didn’t stop him when he reached to grab her already abused thighs and lift them over his hips. For being as slight as he was she was surprised by his strength even though she knew all the blades were stronger than they appeared. He slid in on a grunt and she used gravity to slam back down on him.

“Shit, you’re so tight,” he groaned while pressing into her.

His hands rubbed at her things in appreciation, ticking the lines and swells that made her as strong as she was. She wasn’t a petite thing with spindle thin legs and no one had ever accused her of being a beauty below the belt, but Haku didn’t seem to mind. He stroked her up and under her ass, humming in pleasure.

She felt her back hit the wall as Haku kept her pinned there. He pulled back and then thrust in. She rolled her hips over him and he nearly cried out but never faltered in his pace, rocking into her more and more frantic as he felt the tension build. Sakura's hands slid down his back, over the slight muscles that she had never noticed before. He was strong enough to hold her and then some. 

"Touch me all you want," he hissed into her neck.

She felt her fingers find the base of his scalp where his hair fell like silk down his back. She tugged lightly, forcing his head back enough to kiss under his jaw. He growled at the pain but not in a way that made her think he wanted her to stop.

"Yes," he urged. "Like that. Touch me."

Sakura moved along with his rhythm, nipping at his ear and then kissing where she wounded him. He always pressed into her touched and followed it when he could. When she pulled away to throw her own head back to cry out he bit off his own curse. She loved his reactions, and wanted to tease him more, but she felt like a spring wound too tightly. 

Close.

He must have said it out loud because she reached down between them and teased her clit. “Me too,” she gasped.

She came first, crying and clenching tight enough to milk him into his own orgasm. Haku bit her shoulder to keep from crying out and felt the wave of pleasure wash him away.

He lowered them back to the bed on the floor and she kissed him in encouragement. “You did fantastic.”

“You were fantastic.” He smiled and kissed her shoulder where his teeth left bruises. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Sakura playfully nipped at his ear. “I like it a little rough. Come here,” she drew him to her and pillowed his face on her chest where the scent of her seemed to lull him to sleep. Her fingers in his hair, slowly brushing and coming through did nothing but help. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I know I'm not the typical smut writer, but I hope I didn't butcher that too terribly for you. I wrote that over a year ago and it was hidden away on my laptop inside four different folders-no joke. This is the first time I'm showing it publicly?


	10. Chapter 10

Tsunade had forgotten her jacket and found herself on the walkway back to the dining room when she spotted Kakashi, hands in his pockets, shoulders slouched as poorly as his posture, staring dully up at the moon.

She had remembered him walking back with Rin, but by the look of things, events had not unfolded as he had hoped. The man had a long way to go if he had any intention of picking up from where he left off with that girl.

Tsunade was naturally protective all all the ladies she drew under her wings, being so selective about holding others close to the heart in the first place. A part of the blonde sage wanted things to work out between the old lovers, but another part of her wanted Kakashi to wallow in heartache a little longer because he would never be worthy of Rin no matter what he did. He was still an asshole and still a fool who never seemed to learn from his mistakes. It was almost painful to watch him.

"Oi," she called out.

Kakashi turned towards her, posture still as horrible as ever. His eyebrow rose in question but he didn't say anything else in response. Typical Hatake behavior. He was no better than his father.

"I'm not done drinking. You want to be able to sleep tonight?" she taunted, jabbing with her thumb back at the room she had been heading to in the first place.

She turned around and headed off, listening for his footsteps. That was foolish of her. He was a ghost and ghosts made no sound. She wasn't sure if she was surprised or not when she looked back to see him hanging in the doorway. His expression was a cross between resignation and boredom.

Tsunade found the wine and didn't bother with the cups, but passed a whole jug to Kakashi and took one for herself. The pair settled on the edge of the porch, staring across the scraggly inner courtyard that was set into haunting contrast with a silver light paining every edge like a blade. It was quiet but not silent. Somewhere there were boys talking and arguing, maybe drunkenly.

"So what's keeping you up?" she teased, knowing full well what kept the lonely man awake during most nights. The way he looked _at_ Rin and looked _for_ Rin were impossible to ignore.

"Lord Jiraiya hasn't written any peach paper books in a while and I've worn out my old volumes," Kakashi sighed in mock sarcasm. "What about you, Lady Tsunade? Shizune not giving you any these nights."

"Humph, no wonder Rin is keeping you at arm's length. Not even the kid made things easier for you, huh. What a mouth you have. Show some tact."

Kakashi slumped further, his shoulder blades standing up like peaked mountains as he took another pull from the jug. When he spoke he sounded too tired to keep up the verbal spat much longer. "Shut up."

Tsunade let a moment of silence stretched between them before speaking up again. "Huh, have it your way. There are other things that are worth worrying about. Have you heard anything back from your dog runners on the inside?"

"Nothing new since what I reported to you last time. My informant is not at liberty to press his luck anymore than he already has."

Tsunade snorted. "I've never known a Nara to be lucky. They're too crafty to be anything else. When he's ready he'll bark, but not before."

"You know you could just get your own spy network and work with them yourself instead of always coming to me or Lord Jiraiya for all your dirty little tidbits."

"Ah, but you're so much better at it than I am. Why bother trying to improve something that works so well? No, I'll leave the spying to the experts and stick to what I do best. I told Sakura I would see her in the morning for something to keep the snake from hurting her again. It would be bad if he trapped her or worse, he killed her."

Kakashi paused, staring into the mouth of his jug before tapping it against his lips. The cloth normally stretched tight around the bottom half of his face was bunched up around his neck, another sign he was depressed about the whole Rin thing. Tsunade waited for his words, knowing he was muling them over.

"Can he do that across such a distance...kill?"

"Not the way he tried. If he could, Sakura would be dead. With a spiritual connection he could only bind her soul in place and keep it from returning to her body, which is just as bad. A body without a soul forgets how to live around one and in some extreme cases, after days or weeks apart, souls are sometimes unable to enter their original bodies."

"We'd really be fucked if that happened."

Tsunade snorted. "I bet. I've seen Orochimaru's sword men and I've seen Sakura's. They are as different as night and day. No one would weep for the snake's death, but I think each and every one of those boys would burn the world twice over if something really did take her away from them."

Kakashi snorted. "What a romantic."

"Says the man who reads erotica every day."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Fiction isn't real. Sakura is real."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I've already lost a lot of money tonight, Kakashi, don't tempt me and just shut up on this. I know what I'm talking about. The education Orochimaru's swords need to go through lasts anywhere between a few days to weeks and even then they're all as dull as a box of rocks."

"He didn't seem like a bright fellow, just a crafty one," Kakashi admitted.

"I didn't think he would have been able to work with a sword that has a strong soul. Most of the ones he animates are lacking in character. They're mindless tools without personality. Sakura's swords have soul so it's no wonder giving them bodies exhausted her as much as it did. It was taxing spiritually."

"I'll believe that. I've run missions with most of them. They're all top notch. I'd feel safe with any of them on my squad, even Sai for as young and dense as he is."

Tsunade snorted. "Yeah, I think he has it the worst out of all of them, but he's not the only one who wants to be adored by his pretty sage master." A new look came into her eyes and she turned to Kakashi suddenly. "Who do you think has it the worst out of all of them? You saw Yagura tonight, right? And even Utakata had his hands on her."

"You want me to rank them on…?"

"Who's got it the worst for Sakura."

Kakashi chuckled to himself, going back to sip at the booze. "And here I thought you weren't in the betting mood."

"It's not a _betting_ mood, I'm not offering any more money or massages, I just want to know what you think and don't say you haven't considered it. You read too much of that sappy smut to not have some interest in this. What other entertainment is there out here in the hills, eh?"

Kakashi hid his smile behind his hand and glanced over his knuckles at the older woman. He tried not to let the smile into his eyes, but doubted he had managed so much. She was spot on because Kakashi really had been paying Sakura and the swords a bit too much attention when there was really no need for it.

"I think Haku has it the worst," he finally admitted.

Tsunade recoiled a bit. "Huh?"

The thought made him laugh, but Kakashi nodded and went along with it. "He's a brat and it doesn't seem like it at first, but he's the worst about it. He lies all the time saying he doesn't care or worse, he bullies her with his words for the attention and it's been building and building and building ever since he was a sword."

Tsunade finished off her jug of sake and set it to the side, leaning back on her elbows as a fullness settled in her belly. "I would have thought Kisame and Zabuza for sure. They were like lion dogs, loyally keeping watch over her while she slept."

"Oh yeah, but they're honest about it and actually have some level of communication with her. Haku doesn't, which makes it harder for him to keep it in. You're right about those two relics though, they're completely devoted to Sakura. She worked really hard to win them over as swords and they've been dedicated ever since."

"I'm still surprised that Mei gave you relics. I thought Kiri was supposed to be super uptight about their traditions and their swords. Last time I saw her the brat wouldn't even treat me to sake."

"You're not her type."

Tsunade reached out and kicked Kakashi in the leg. He hadn't tried to dodge because it was only a kick but the impact made him see stars and he cursed at the feeling. When he looked back over he saw that Tsunade was glaring.

"Shit, sorry you crazy old woman."

"Doubt that, but I'm fine with just seeing you in pain. Don't forget I'm a sage too and not the sort of person you trifle with."

"I'll not mention it anymore. If I limp I can't do missions and you'll be stuck with my ugly mug around camp for that much longer."

The blonde woman rolled her eyes. "You can catch up on the gossip and quit pretending like you don't just live for it. I know you better." She pointed to a far end of the manor where there were low voices muffled through the wood. "What do you think of the other swords?"

"They're all trustworthy and capable."

"Not that. You know what I mean," Tsunade snapped.

Kakashi put on a sad face and reached for his shin, holding it up and moaning lowly. "If only I wasn't in so much pain then I could think straight. Ohh, oh, the pain. Yeah, still can't think straight even though I know I should know the answer to this question."

Tsunade's hand glowed green and she grumbled loudly, but moved to heal his leg before he could whine about it much more. He hadn't moved the fabric of his pants away so there was no wound to see shrink away, but Kakashi relaxed at the feel and could tell the injury was gone by the time she pulled away.

"Now you can talk."

"Well, it doesn't matter who else has an interest in our cute little Sakura if she's still the way she is, unwilling to look at the big picture. She's an interesting brat if you ever think to study her motivations a bit. Not the typical romance heroine and I would know. You see," Kakashi raised his hands to demonstrate, "she's lacking sight. She doesn't see romance as an option anymore and it's going to take some aggressive advancements on the boy's end to remedy this. Maybe it's because she's a forge monkey and never had a boyfriend in her life, I don't know."

"I don't know if I've had enough wine for that to make sense," mused Tsunade skeptically.

"It makes sense, it makes sense."

"But the others?" Tsunade prodded.

"I think Mangetsu is sweet by nature, and Suigetsu is okay enough, but neither seem to have what it takes. The same could be said for Kagura. He's a kid compared to Yagura and he's got a better disposition so I don't see him being worth watching. I'm not sure about Shizuma yet, I've had the least amount of time to observe him."

"I saw Utakata tonight. Him and Yagura. You can't tell me those two aren't worth watching."

Kakashi chuckled. "You're worse than I am."

"I live for this sort of drama, remember?" Tsunade mocked.

"Yeah, yeah. Those two are the type to keep your eye on. Yagura is the type to be interested once he gets some sense smacked into him and Utakata is the clever type. You won't see him coming until it's too late."

Tsunade mulled his words over, thinking to herself about what it had to be like to live in such a stagnant situation, where leaving the manor meant a heavy risk. Sakura didn't leave, she was stuck and confined to the immediate grounds and for some people that would be enough to drive them up a wall. But it was necessary because of what they knew.

Tsunade sighed and when she looked up again she felt old in her bones because she was staring at the same sky from her youth but nothing in it had changed-just like the world. The same stars still twinkled and the same people were still wringing their hands in blood with no end in sight. If anything, the state of the world was worse.

"Sometimes I wish all we had to worry about was which sword boy is the best one to ship with his master. I'd be happy if that was it."

Kakashi's tone turned somber. "I know, but if what Nara said is accurate, Danzo's not even trying to be subtle about his aggressions. It's put a huge wedge between the Uchiha clan and the shogun. Even the Hyuga are seeing signs of taxed resources. At this rate we will be in open war before the year is over."

"You think The land of Waves can brave it?" she asked.

"Let's hope so. If not, there aren't many more places to run to."

* * *

* * *

Sakura blinked her eyes open and stared at the room around her. "Is that it?" she asked, looking up.

Tsunade huffed and reached for a hand mirror. "Not so loud kid, some of us still have hangovers."

Sakura accepted the hand mirror and shot the older sage a look of accusation. "That's your choice. You could have avoided it if you wanted."

"Yeah, well some of us like how booze makes us feel. Be grateful you don't have to be numb to get to sleep most nights. Now shut up and look at yourself already."

Sakura grunted teasingly but looked down into the mirror she had been handed to see the familiar reflection of her face with only one major change. A dark purple rhombus was colored into her skin, shimmering with light from the magic of another sage. As Sakura watched it the rhombus dulled to a faint lavender color and didn't shimmer as much.

"It'll grow darker when you use your powers. It's not the cutest thing to have on your face, I get it, but you won't have to worry about Orochimaru taking advantage of you with that in place," Tsunade said.

"It's amazing."

Tsunade snorted and turned away, but not before Sakura could see how the older woman flushed from the praise.

Sakura thanked Tsunade and spent the rest of the day in the forge working on her sword. At one point, when she was dirty and sweating from tempering the blade she thought she saw someone watching her on the crest of a low hill behind the manor, but when she turned to look that way Haku wasn't there and she wasn't sure if he had been something her mind made up, or he was just too fast to catch.

Sakura wiped her hands on her apron and lifted Gaara back into the furnace, stoking the flames with the bellows until they were white blue under the pine charcoal. When she drew Gaara out he was blinding red and the steam from when she slipped him into the water sounded so much like his voice.

Gaara was one of the most bloodthirsty blades she had ever worked with. Most of the time she didn't want her blades to be so vicious, though that sometimes gave them the most carelessly sharp edges that always seemed to find a way to draw blood.

'You'll be a sharp blade, but you won't be consumed by bloodlust,' she told him as the day drew to a close.

'Blood is mine to spill.'

She frowned at the response. 'Not all blood. You were made to protect and yes, to avenge, but only in the name of justice. You are not a soul meant for evil, Gaara.'

'What is evil and good in the face of my edge?' It didn't really sound like a question when he said it.

'Good and evil are still two very real and present forces you must not forget.'

'Craft me with a good edge, give me an edge I can cleave the world open with.'

Sakura set Gaara aside and pulled off her smock.

"That's enough for today, little devil. I'll come back when I'm not as worried about your mental health."

She felt a sense of fear from Gaara and his presence, once bloodthirsty and feral, melted into one of pain and longing that cried out without words to be loved, to be held, and to be tended to. Sakura ignored his cries because she had said she would.

When she returned in the morning, asking if he had slept well, she was met by a grudging silence that told her Gaara was awake and aware of her presence, but chose not to respond to it. Like a child, he was trying to manipulate her into seeing things his way.

'Should I work here or should I leave today?' she asked him.

When he didn't reply she reached for the draw filled with kera metal and started to pick through them, turning them over and listening for voices in the metal that would work well together and one day become a fine sword. It didn't take long before Gaara's silence broke up and he dissolved into angry speech that demanded she not ignore him in favor of some other project.

'I thought you were asleep, you weren't answering me.'

'I'm here, I'm here and you're supposed to be working on me!'

'I'm scared of you right now.'

Gaara was silent for a while in a way that made Sakura think she must have stunned him with her words. Finally there was a hesitant, 'why?' in the back of her brain. He meant to whisper it so only she could hear.

'You're hungry for blood just like I've been hungry for it, and I think that's my fault. I hate Orochimaru for what he did to me and my teacher. He's evil and cruel and holds himself like he's god of all our lives and that's wrong.' Her voice wavered towards the end but stayed stead enough to reflect her control over her emotions. She didn't let herself sound like her hate ruled her.

'But he hurt you.'

Sakura swallowed and nodded. 'Yes, he hurt me, but that's not _why_ I want to hurt him. I want to stop him from hurting others. I don't want anyone else like me to suffer ever again because of him. I want justice.'

He was quiet a moment more before asking. 'Why would you care of others? Only love yourself. Life will not be so hard then.'

Sakura laid a hand on the smooth side of his blade and hummed. "But I love you, and I love Sai, and I love all the swords I've made. I love my friends and I loved Sarutobi before he died. Loving someone can be the most painful thing you feel as a human, but it's also the most amazing thing, and I think that makes the heartache and misery all worth it in the end. Is that wrong? Should I not love you?"

More silence stretched between them, but she knew he was thinking.

'I think….I think I like being loved by you.'

Sakura smiled wide and settled in to work. "It's time to sign the tang, and I think I know exactly what you need."

When she was done, the character for Love was etched into the metal along with her name and then his name. Another day was dedicated to making his sheath and wrapping his hilt, all things she called Inari in to help her with.

In less than a week Gaara was ready.


	11. Chapter 11

Part 3

* * *

She was used to Kisame bringing her gifts back, but didn't stop to consider it to be a family trait until Shizuma came back with a wrapped parcel tied up in ribbon.

"I asked them to make it like a present for a lady," he explained as he studied the gift in his hands, avoiding her eyes. When he looked up it was almost as if the effort was painful for him. "I realize I never apologize properly to you."

Sakura was even more lost than before. "Apologized for what?" she asked. She wiped her hands on the edge of her yukata, knowing that they were still dirty from work in the morning and hating how she never seemed clean or pretty enough for polite company. She knew none of the boys really minded, but it still bothered her.

Shizuma wasn't an odachi like his 'older brother' so he wasn't as tall as Kisame, and he wasn't made with the same blue steel, so his coloring was closer to her own, but at moments and times she could see the painful resemblance that made her feel like a fool for doubting their relation. They were both Hoshigaki blades with the same wide smile too sharp for  _polite company_.

He pushed the package into her hands and she took it, rubbing her fingers over the paper before starting to dig into where they overlapped.

"It's for...you know, when you got sick. That was my fault."

Sakura stopped unwrapping and looked up, eyes wide and face pale. "What?"

He tried to smile again but it looked more like a wince. "It's because you gave me a body that you were weak enough for Orochimaru to do that to you. If it hadn't been for me you would have been fine, but you suffered for days. I just wanted-"

She grabbed his arm and the contact jolted him into abrupt silence. When he looked to her face again it was stern, lacking the surprise from earlier.

"Don't believe that, Shizuma. Listen to me now, that was not your fault and it's not something you should be blaming yourself for. Have you thought that way this entire time? Has someone said something to you to make you think it was your fault?"

"No! Kisame was actually trying to convince me of the opposite, but that's just because he's my older brother and he is looking out for me. It doesn't matter what the others think though, I think it was my fault."

Sakura put more pressure to where her hand held his wrist and he swallowed, watching her and waiting for her to speak. "Look at me. I'm telling you right now that it was never your fault. Don't even think like that. It does no one any good for you to blame yourself. No one is to blame, but if someone were, that person would be me, not you. I should have known better but you did absolutely nothing." She almost laughed. "There's no way it would be your fault."

He turned his wrist over so his hand grabbed her wrist back. They were each holding the other's wrist in a shared grasp. "Somehow I suspected you might say that, but I was afraid that was my wishful dreaming."

"It's not," Sakura stressed.

He nodded but then nudged his chin at the package in her hands. "Okay, but you still need to take the gift and open it. I found it during my last mission where Kisame picked up the wine. I didn't want to give you this until you had already gone through his gift."

Sakura chuckled, dropping his wrist and returning both hands to the paper. She pulled it apart and turned over the outer jacket with a laugh. He had found for her an indigo colored haori that faded to a lighter blue color at the bottom. On the sleeves there were different aquatic animals like sharks, whales, and turtles as well as some sea birds. Sakura recognized right away what the design was of.

"It matches the anklet your brother got me, the one from the stories."

She ran her fingers over the raised design of a narwhal, breaking through the ice with its spiraling horn like tooth. If she remembered correctly, the narwhal was a character in an epic poem that was sent out by a prince from the deepest parts of the ocean, tasked with the mission to break through the ice and make access to the prince's lover possible.

"You like that one?" he asked.

Sakura nodded. "I loved the story it matched with. Kisame told it to me one night."

"It's one of the reasons why women are not often allowed on fishing vessels. The superstition is that they'll attract the old ones who live at the bottom of the sea with their beauty. This will entice the old gods to steal away the women as brides."

"I thought women couldn't be sailors because men were just sexist assholes."

Shizuma shrugged. "That's the reason sometimes too, but I liked the stories better. Hoshigaki blades are romantic like that I guess. Both Kisame and I had masters who were also sailors at times and samurai at others."

"I do really like the stories, so I'm not going to complain or tease you for it," Sakura said. "Do you have a favorite?"

He touched the shark on the haori. "These guys were said to be born from the broken teeth of an ancient titian who was killed and sank into the sea. His mouth bled and from where his teeth had fallen came forth the monstrous fish who never ran out of teeth. They are always waiting for the day when they might once more be the instruments of a greater reckoning."

"Oh?" Sakura hummed, eyes lit up with interest that made Shizuma blush.

He swallowed and nodded before explaining further. "They say at the end of the world these guys, the sharks, will swim back into the secret places of the ocean and become teeth again, so sailors are told to be grateful when they see sharks at sea because that means the end of the world isn't here yet."

His hands drifted over the shark to another part of the sleeve where there was the design of waves.

Sakura watched his fingers trail across the fabric. "That makes them sound so fierce, but it's sad to think that they're thought of so fearfully. Kisame told me that sharks aren't even that aggressive with humans, and most attacks are accidents."

"They're still scary, which I think is cool."

Sakura allowed herself to laugh. "Okay, okay, you're allowed to like what you like. Help me put this on, I want to try wearing it for a bit when I know I won't get it dirty."

The younger Hoshigaki huffed but helped her into the jacket. "You can get it dirty, it's not expensive. I'm sure I could find another one like this."

Sakura rolled her eyes and stepped away once she had her arms through the sleeves. She turned around to face him while pulling her hair out. "It doesn't matter if its expensive or not, this one is important to me because it was a gift. Really, between the two of you brothers I'm terribly spoiled."

"That's fine. We feel bad that you're not able to leave whenever you want to. If there is something you want you have to wait until someone else goes out to get it for you. Kakashi said you were used to having independence so it might make you grumpy when you can't go and come as you please."

"Oh, he said that did he?" She was going to have to have a talk with that man later. She held out her arms and smiled. "How do I look?"

He smiled wide in a way that made her think he could be no one other than a Hoshigaki. He was all teeth. "You look good enough to steal away."

"I'll take care to avoid the open seas then."

"Yeah, just wait until its safe enough for us to take you out. Kisame and I will watch out and protect you real good," he laughed, sounding more like a youth than before.

He let her go and Sakura walked back into her room and spared herself a single vanity. She pulled the long mirror out from behind a folding screen left in the corner. There was dust over the glass she wiped away with a stray rag. Her reflection was warped in one corner where a fire had melted the glass at some point, but other than that, she recognized the person staring back at her.

With the haori the shape of her shoulders and bulge of her arms was hidden. No one would be able to see how unfeminine she really was under the extra layer.

Her hair was loose and a little messy but she combed her fingers through it until it fell neatly over her shoulders. She hadn't noticed how much longer it had grown since leaving Sarutobi, but it was past her shoulders by a good couple of inches. It was almost long enough to style and she contemplated letting it grow out. Maybe she could learn to braid it some new ways. Maybe she could...

"Stupid," Sakura huffed, looking away from her reflection. She laughed bitterly before reaching up to tug the mirror back behind the junk where no one would see it.

What had she been thinking? Why would she bother with something so silly now after all this time? Things were going nicely and she was as happy as she believed she deserved, but she wasn't stupid. She hadn't changed that much. She had no use for a mirror.

_'That doesn't sound like healthy thinking my dear.'_

The voice was loud, louder than it needed to be and Sakura wondered if it was because Konan didn't know how easy it was for Sakura to hear the voices of her swords.

"I forgot there were opinions other than mine that had to put up with my depressing thoughts," Sakura chuckled.

She turned around and hobbled over on her knees to where Konan sat on a sword stand. She was polished and nearly ready to be given a body. Sakura took her time getting to know each blade before the summoning. She meant to give Konan a body soon, once Rin came back from her herbal run.

' _I think you look lovely as you are. You're unique. You need not trim yourself to seem like other girls.'_

Sakura thought that Konan had probably seen more girls in her lifetime as a ladies' blade. Like Rin had admonished her for, Sakura's life had been oddly saturated with the male presence and laking in female relationships. Konan was kind in a way that was easy and open and Sakura wondered if that was because Konan was Konan or because that was a trait nurtured by female society.

Sakura reached and lifted Konan off the sword stand. The connection that had been fairly strong between them swelled and Sakura could hear Konan in her head that much clearer. The lady sword hummed in appreciation at the contact and Sakura remembered how swords loved being held.

"Konan, what sort of life have you lived so far that you're such an expert on the subject of hair?"

It was a simple question that was light enough on its own, but the two were a little more connected than that and Konan knew what Sakura really was asking. 'What sort of life have you lived: tell me.'

"Ah, it's not been as long a life as some of those relics you've worked with. I've had several masters before Rin, sweet girl that she is."

"Tell me about it."

Konan vibrated in Sakura's hands and she felt the tickle of the blade's chuckle. "Ah, well where to begin...Let me tell you about my first master who learned how to do hair in the red light district where she went to visit her lover."

"A story."

"If you want to think about it that way," Konan laughed. Sakura could almost see her hiding her smile behind the sleeve of her elegant kimino. The picture came in, vivd and clear.

Sakura listened to the stories and talked to Koan about her own meager adventures. Sakura felt like her own life failed to paint nearly so interesting a picture after listening to the tales of jealous lovers and broken pledges under the red lights and palace lanterns hung by secret lovers. Some of the details made her blush but she never turned her attention away from Konan's stories.

The more Sakura heard from her swords the more she understood how little she actually knew about the world.

"What do you want now that someone can hear your voice?" Sakura heard herself ask.

The answer didn't surprise her.

"To be useful and be used."

* * *

Things were going well, too well, so they had to fall apart somehow. Sakura knew in her heart that happiness couldn't last forever because it never did, but she never suspected things to go as terribly as they did.

She heard Kakashi screaming and it sounded like a man possessed by agony ripping through the sky. The sound made her drop the work she had been busying herself with and run back down to the inner courtyard from the trees behind the forge where wood was split. As she passed her hands reached for whatever they could and she dropped her ax in favor of the heaviest hammer.

There were arrows sticking up out of the ground like stalks of infant wheat and a smeared trail of blood through the dust leading to where Kakashi cradled Rin in his arms. The girl was pale and gasping at the arrow that had pieced just under her collarbone. Sakura also noticed that the girl's hair was covered in cloth and impossible to see from a distance.

'They thought she was me.' The guilt hit her along with that thought.

"It's fine!" Rin gasped as loudly as she could, still wincing in pain. "Kakashi, go."

But he was a man with a single mind and ignored her. Kakashi screamed for Tsunade even as the figures in black slipped over the walls, wearing a myriad of different porcelain animal masks.

"Inari, go with them," Sakura barked as she slipped her arm back through the loose sleeves of her yukata, letting one half side flap free behind her. "Go!"

Inari took off after Kakashi who was helping Rin back into the house. Sakura heard louder footsteps and then Yagura was beside her, his blade drawn and pink eyes flashing with anger. Behind him Mangetsu and Suigetsu trailed, all looking flushed or angry.

"What the hell?" Suigetsu cursed, drawing his own sword and crouching ready. An arrow flew towards them and he deflected it easily before falling back into a stance. "I don't recognize these guys. They're not bandits or mercenaries."

"No," Sakura said. "They're Danzo's elite forces, the swords Orochimaru turned."

"They're after you, Sakura, go back inside, we'll handle this."

Further back Utakata was running through the halls to join them, but Sakura knew that Kisame, Zabuza, Haku, Yagura and Shizuma were all out on dispatch missions. Sai was also on watch when-

 _Sai_! Her brain was screaming with the question, where was he?

"Where's Sai?" she asked. Her voice sounded near frantic.

"Sakura, go! He'll be fine."

She didn't know who said that but she turned and ran, ducking under the cover of a nearby roof just in time to miss the arrows. She heard them hit the dirt and sink deep or scatter in broken bits. Nearly blind, Sakura ran like a bolt through the halls, slamming doors back so hard they broke. She stumbled, but pushed back up with her knee to make the hard turn into her room and roll over Konan and Gaara who were both left at the foot of her bed. She meant to give them bodies but-

Sakura ducked low in time to miss the swing of a sword and cursed when she dropped both swords to grab her hammer with both hands. She rolled and popped up far away enough to just miss his blade, but she had been practicing, and she swung with the hammer in a stance any good swordsman would block. He reacted like she thought he would and saw too late that there was no way to block her hammer. She wasn't a swordsman, after all, and his head splattered like a watermelon across her wall to prove that.

The wall behind her caught an arrow and Sakura had to dart out before she could catch her breath. She reached for the swords but they both fell through her hands as she ran, faster and faster, ducking for cover. She took a corner too hard and rolled sideways, through a door that cracked and split open. She fell to her knees and just missed another projectile. They were tossing throwing stars at her now.

Sakura ran, screaming in her head for Sai, begging him to answer her. She didn't hear her Sai, but she heard voices…voices she recognized only slightly.

"The Kaguya," she realized with a start. Orochimaru had accelerated his time table. There were at least six of their voices and then four or so more that were not Kaguya. All others were out of range or without a sound.

_'Fine the girl.'_

_'Kill the girl sage.'_

_'She has to die.'_

_'Kill her!'_

_'We're here to kill the sage girl for Danzo, then he will be proud.'_

Sakura felt sick but turned and headed away from those voices, careful to run like a fawn in the forest, white tailed and silent on as a ghost.

When the house was barely in view she felt something and had to stop. It felt like a thought, a white noise voice. It was impossible to tell, but her gut told her it was Sai. She turned towards it and ran.

The house came back into view and there were even more voices, louder than before, in her head. They said awful things and then her boys said angry things, and then there were messy voices she couldn't tell apart.

It all fadded when she found his body.

Her heart stopped as the horror gripped her and her hammer fell limp from her fingers. She covered her mouth with both hands to stop the sob as she staggered forward. There was so much blood from where he had been cut nearly clean through. His beautiful tantou self lay in two broken pieces in the dirt, cut through in the same place as his body. His eyes were wide open and staring at the sky, more white than ever before.

She remembered what she told Gaara a few days ago. " _I love you, and I love Sai, and I love all the swords I've made. I love my friends and I loved Sarutobi before he died. Loving someone can be the most painful thing you feel as a human, but it's also the most amazing thing, and I think that makes the heartache and misery all worth it in the end_."

An arrow lodged in her side, between two ribs just under her lung. Another one whizzed by just shy of actually hitting her. She didn't even flinch when the second arrow landed two ribs above the first, around her back. She couldn't feel it.

She heard their footsteps and the voices were crying out for her blood. They wanted to strike her down with their blades and had missed on purpose. They raised up their arms behind her and she knew exactly where they were when the seal broke into black lines across her body and her will became a physical force that knocked them back.

Sakura rounded on them in rage, her eyes glowing green. She extended her hand and saw them for what they were, steel and scabbard, blade and edge. With a snarl soaked in anguish she pushed her power into them, over them, through them and all three of her would be attackers shuddered under the cloud before their bodies became unmade. There was a hiss and black smoke as their skin and bones disappeared and all that remained were their swords.

**Was was made could be unmade.**

Sakura turned her attention to where she could hear the other voices of the blades. She couldn't see them but she could hear them and she reached for them all the same, grabbing at what held them together to snap like celery, and tear like wet paper. There were cries, but one after another, their voices dimmed and stayed stuck in their blades until only her own boys remained.

The seal on her forehead stuttered and then fadded back to a pale purple and then vanished completely. Sakura fell off her feet into the dirt and turned towards Sai.

Sai, her beautiful, jealous, growing boy. He had been terrible upset with her last they spoke. She had wanted him to get along with Gaara because they would be brothers, but Sai didn't want another brother. He complained that he was enough and then left on an exclamation about how she was throwing him away for better blades. She had meant to let him cool down before she confronted him.

That had been last night.

She knelt at his side, and where she set her knees the blood in the ground soaked up the fabric. Her hands were dirty with it when she reached for him. She wanted to close up the wound and put him back together, but there was nothing she could do, even as she reached for his ends her hands shook too terribly to move or even touch him.

"Sai," she cried. "Sai, please don't…oh gods why did they do this to you?" It wasn't a real question, but her brain didn't work well enough for those. She called out to him again and again but his eyes were already glassy and watching heaven.

That's how they found her.

Mangetsu tried to reach for her and bring her back, but Utakata held the other boy back, wordlessly shaking his head. Sakura could hear their wordless conversation in her head just as well as if they were still swords.

'Leave her be. Let her cry it out.'

'She's in pain, I want to help her.'

'You can't.'

...

* * *

 

Sakura sobbed until she couldn't anymore. Then a bone weary exhaustion took hold of her and she fell asleep, only just remembering that there were two arrow heads still stuck between her ribs. She hadn't felt either one, but the blood loss didn't care. All she wanted was to put Sai back together like a blade and have him be angry at her all he wanted because she deserved it.

"It's not safe, we have to move!"

"Shit, not so loud. We can't right now."

She couldn't distinguish one voice from the next, but listened half awake to what she could. It didn't matter who said what. Nothing really mattered to her in that moment. She was numb all over-down to her heart.

"That doesn't matter, we need to make sure Sakura is safe."

"What are 'ya talking about? She's safe if we're all here. We're cutting back on away missions, remember?"

"Also, their invasion was a terrible failure. None of them survived. We can hold them off here. We'll be better prepared next time with traps and better alert systems."

"That's beside the point. I don't want this sort of thing to happen again. There are other abandoned mansions in the mountains, ones better hidden."

"They'll find us no matter where we go. We should stay and fight."

"But look at what they did to her!" Something shattered. "Shit, I didn't see that there. I got it-I said I got it! Move off."

"…It's not the wounds that have debilitated her, but the loss."

A longer silence stretched between them all.

"I don't like seeing her like that. Isn't there something we can do?"

"We need to let her process this loss in her own time. It's not something you can rush or help with. Her relationship with Sai was special compared to yours or mine. He was the only one of us she actually made, and he was by far the youngest and maybe the most attached to her."

"Ah, and I'm sure she unfairly blames herself and feels this responsibility in a way we can't understand."

"…I still hate seeing her like that. I wish I could fix it for her."

"I think we all do."

* * *

Sakura couldn't hear Sai's voice anymore. She kept the broken pieces of his blade under her pillow, listening and dreaming for that sound but it never came. She could hear Gaara and Konan, but couldn't bring herself to touch them, especially Gaara. She was too afraid to see him split open and staring wide eyed just like Sai.

Zabuza let himself in and closed the door behind him. She didn't hear his footsteps but saw his shadow and knew his outline too well to mistaken it. He knelt down beside her bed and stayed there, silent for the longest time until eventually she turned over in bed to face him.

He inclined his head and tugged the cloth that sometimes covered his mouth away to speak with her.

"I heard about what happened when we got in. I wanted to check in on you. Kisame did too but I told him you weren't in the mood for his stupid gifts."

Sakura blinked, staring up at the taller man who seemed impossibly big with the sunlight casting rays behind him. "I'm glad you're all back safely."

He nodded stiffly. "I don't think anyone else is going out on anymore missions for a while now. I'll be here."

Sakura felt like it took all the effort in the world to blink. Her eyes wanted to stay closed and it was too easy to leave them shut, but she forced herself to stare up at Zabuza and really see him. He didn't flinch or look away when he saw her tear swollen face. She didn't know how she felt about that.

"Thanks. I'm sorry I'm not… more put together."

He watched her push herself up in bed and drag her hand out from under the pillows. Her fingers were nicked in places from moments of carelessness, and she suspected he knew exactly why.

"Is this harder?" he finally asked. "Harder than when you miscarried?"

That was an old pain that throbbed like a dull wound in her heart that was only ever noticed when she pressed against it. That memory hurt, but she answered him honestly. "Not like this. This was worse."

"I was afraid of that. Not unlike a child, he was a life you forged, formed, and brought into this world. We all knew how much you loved him and he knew it too."

"No he didn't."

She didn't want to but she let the bitterness slip into her words and it sounded like she had sharpened each one with resentment.

Zabuza calmly nodded along. "Maybe not as well as he should have, but then when does any child understand or comprehend the love of their mother? I don't think he or I or anyone could have understood how much you loved him, but he knew you did love him. He was proud of that."

"You weren't there. The last things he said to me…he was hurt and I let him run off because I thought that was best. I was-I didn't want to spoil him so I let him go and I should have never done that! I should have chased him down and made sure he knew that he wasn't being replaced, that I loved him still. I messed up, Zabuza."

"You can't blame yourself. That's the last thing Sai would have wanted."

She snorted, looking down at the red cuts across her fingers. "Sai was only three years old. You don't know what he wanted."

"He wouldn't have wanted to see you like this. As much as you loved Sai, remember that he loved you too. There was no one alive he was more proud of or who he looked up to than you. He loved being your creation and beamed when he talked about it. You know there weren't many people Sai really liked even though he got along with all of us to please you." He reached out and touched her chin with the underside of his curled fingers. The action was to get her to look at him even with her eyes lowered. "Hey! He loved you. He'd hate to see you like this."

"I feel like someone took my heart out of my chest, Zabuza."

"If someone did that do you think you would still be able to feel this much pain?"

Sakura laughed but it came out sounding like a sob and there were a few tears she had to wipe away with the heels of her hands. Still, she was smiling when she looked back up at him.

"You are strong. You will survive this. It will leave a scar on your heart, but you will survive this," he said.

She believed him when he said it with so much conviction, so she nodded and wiped her face with the blankets, not caring that it wasn't a ladylike thing to do. Zabuza left right after that, sliding the door shut but in time for her to catch a shock of blue and piece together the fact that Kisame was sitting on the edge of the porch outside her room. Even with the door closed she could hear through it when she listened.

"I don't think now's the best time to be giving gifts."

"Dumbass. Don't think I know that? Shut up. I'm just keeping watch is all."

"You need to do that with a lady's kimono?"

Kisame growled low. "Shit face, you better keep walking."

* * *

Sakura woke in the middle of the night and she thought it was because she heard his voice.

She bolted up and threw away the pillow, reaching for the two pieces of Sai only to feel how cold and dead they really were, two empty pieces of steel, broken just like his body. She hadn't even seen them take it away to be buried. Someone mentioned how the body started to break apart hours after death and how there was nothing left to bury. Sakura wasn't sure if that made her feel better or not, because the image was burned into her brain with no hope of ever being forgotten anytime soon.

"Sai," Sakura called, knowing there would only be darkness to hear her.

Silence.

"Sai, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't run out after you. I'm sorry I didn't chase you down that day and I'm so sorry you felt that way. I should have never let it come to that. I love you, I've always loved you and…and you didn't know this but love isn't something that diminishes when new people come into your life. Nothing new or different would have changed how I felt about you. Sai, you're always going to be special to me."

More silence.

Sakura laid the two pieces atop each other and held them close to her heart and waited. There was less of a moon out, but the sky was clear of clouds and each star in the heavens was on display when she pushed open her door to look out.

Kisame kept watch from a distance but at night she couldn't see who was watching her. With how little sleep swords needed she knew it wasn't hard for them to work out a rotating schedule.

The metal on her skin warmed.

Something deep inside her told her that what she wanted was probably unfair, but she stood up and walked to the forge with both pieces of Sai.

There was enough to start a fire the burned blue and then white with help from the bellows. Sakura pushed back her sleeves and grabbed a pair of tongs. She thrust both pieces in under the coals and fed the fire. The room around her turned sweltering very quickly but Sakura didn't let up. Once the two halves of metal were heated she pulled them out and laid the white hot pieces together on the anvil. They fit like puzzle pieces and she hammered them back into place, melted them back together and hammered again. Again and again she repeated the process, smoothing the scar out with each heating until there wasn't even a noticeable trace, but Sakura kept heating Sai again and again until the sky started to burn with a new sun rising.

"Sai, speak to me. I know you're still there. Listen to my voice and come back."

She thrust him back into the fire and burned the last of the coals.

"Sai, listen to me. I love you, you're my precious person. Nothing can ever change that and I'll always love you so please come back to me."

Her tears were falling on the blade and sizzling into steam when they touched the metal.

"Sai!"

The hammer was ringing out like a bell, again and again she worked. Daylight burned the world into color and all around her things began to stir and wake up, but there had been no rest for her and there would be none for a long while at this rate.

"Listen to me, listen, listen. Sai, listen to the sound of my voice and come back to me. I love you, I've always loved you and I always will. Come back Sai, you're not gone, you're not. Sai, come back. Sai, listen to me. Sai, you are my proud and beautiful tantou that I treasure. I could never part with you and I refuse to let you go.

He cooled on the anval and she took him to be sharpened once more, laboring over his edge until he reflected her tear stained face back up at her with a wicked gleam. The purple yin seal Tsunade had put on her forehead was back and she breathed deep, reaching for that power.

"I love you Sai, so come back to me. I believe in you."

The seal flashed and she felt the power she utilized as a sage flow out. It was like a cork being pulled free. All of that energy that thrummed with life burned a little hotter as it washed over Sai on Sakura's command. She had seen Orochimaru perform the ceremony before but she wasn't cold and precise or perfectly analytical about it. She was sloppy and didn't know the theory of what she was doing as well, she just knew she loved Sai and wanted him home.

"All I have is my love to offer you, Sai. Please come home."

She had never poured herself into a dead blade before with so much determination. Like the empty swords she had fallen into before, Sai was void. He was an empty maw she could pour and pour and pour into all day long. There was no end to him, nothing for her to reach and pull into life. He was a dead sword, a well without a bottom.

"Come back to me,  _ **please**_."

Sakura poured more of herself, as much of herself as she could reach, tipping out all the power she had into him and she felt like breaking herself when her lungs seized and the lines across her body burned before snapping back to their source like a whip. It knocked her back off her feet and Sai clatter limp to the ground.

Still dead, still steel.

Sakura didn't have any tears for sobbing, but she let her body shake with grief once more. That last bit of hope hurt the most.

Sakura closed her eyes and sang into the dirt. It was the only thing she could do that felt appropriate. It wasn't a dirge, and she didn't have ashes to scatter, but her mother had said the dead wanted a song to bid them farewell, which was why funerals were always somber concerts. She had never sang for one before, never been that close with any of the dead.

_Flowers of the fields_

_Where do they go, where do they go?_

_Petals in the wind_

_Where do they fly, where do they fly?_

_The mountain calls us home, so carry on dear wind_

_No one walks away from this battle, from this power over us_

_No one walks away from this calling, from this power over us_

_So carry on dear wind, and carry on us home_

She didn't think she had any left, but she felt the tears on her cheek. They were cold when the rest of the world around her was still warm from the forge's fire.

She rolled over, sat up, brushed the dust off, and put out the fires before walking back to her room to sleep in her dirty robes. She didn't take Sai's blade with her, but left it on the anvil and maybe that was the closest she would ever get to putting his body in the ground.

The moon was barely in the sky, hanging on the sliver of its own light in a sickly present gleam. When she opened her eyes she saw an empty room, but felt the presence of the man that had been trying to trap her once more in that moment of weakness. He knew he couldn't do anything to her with the seal still in place, but he still lingered to taunt and rub salt in her wounds.

"Did you think you could raise the dead? No even sages have authority over the deceased. You can't bring back what's already been broken no matter how hard you try and wish and pray. Dead is dead."

Orochimaru laughed in the darkness and her blood boiled in response.

She felt him hover close.

"It's almost a shame to see you lose your will like this over such a trivial matter. I'm afraid of what will happen to you when we come to kill off the rest of your petty little swords. You know we have armies, right? You know that a handful of blades won't be able to survive. Maybe one or two might, but you'll have to bury a lot more blades before this is over."

If she closed her eyes she was sure she would see some manifestation of him in her mind. She was too weak to will him away, unlike any other time.

"Sweet child, don't think this is anywhere near finished. This is only the beginning of your suffering. I will come for you like the thief in the night. I will steal away all your happiness before you can even recognize it. And hope? Ah, hope will hurt the worst of all. There will be no relief from me."

Sakura imagined her brain on fire and burned away his form inside her mind, finally angry enough to muster the will to push him back. She spit a mouthful of blood from a bit lip out onto a handkerchief.

"Then come at me you snake," she hissed to the silver highlighted darkness. "I'll make you taste this grief ten times over." She stood and screamed it. "I will end you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a sad chapter, and I don't know what's wrong with me or why I feel the urge to do this sort of thing....again. I've killed Sai off in other works and I'm always so sorry about it! He's my precious boy and I'm a monster. I'm sorry!


	12. Chapter 12

Fugaku sat ahead of his two sons, far closer to the hanging rice screen and the shadow that shifted just beyond it. Danzo was older for a Shogun, but Fugaku knew better than to believe the old man was too old to be spry or that there weren't half a dozen hidden figures ready to strike in an instant.

"We've taken some losses as it is," Fugaku said, "but it is not something we need to be relocated for. Our numbers will quickly swell once more."

"It's been enough years since that wild toad sage made a mess of your district and restoration has yet to satisfy me."

Fugaku kept his anger hidden deep in his throat. "We are a noble clan."

"I have need of useful clans, Uchiha."

"In the many years of our faithful service, we have never been a useless clan. We have provided services while the Hyuga-"

"Do not presume to make your efforts more than they are by belittling others!" Danzo's voice boomed in the hall. " _They_  have not withheld their treasures from me when asked."

Behind him Fugaku could feel Sasuke's agitation as he shifted. Itachi was as cool as stone, but his youngest was not used to the intensity of a volatile personality like Danzo's.

Some days Fugaku and the Uchiha were in the favor of their aging leader, other days they were the subject of his ire. The flip of a coin had a better chance of predicting the moods of their Shogun.

"Apologies, we meant no offense." Fugaku bowed low and jerked with his elbow for his sons to do the same. Itachi was quick and Sasuke followed along just as well, much to their father's relief.

Danzo huffed loudly and seemed to settle in complacency behind the hanging screen. His ire often abated after such displays.

"You are a loyal people, but the citizens are a dull bread that do not know this as well as I. They clamor for the lands that sit unused. I might feel differently if I knew you were not holding out on me. I have asked you for the blades of your ancestors but you insist on keeping these from me. I can not permit you to waste the land I've blessed you with. The empty home will be ceased unless proper compensation is paid."

Fugaku held his breath and listened, knowing that the Snake sage Orochimaru had to be somewhere near, listening in. For years he had been badgering the Uchiha and Danzo alike for access to the blades of their ancestors, the ones they buried in silk in secret places. To the Uchiha who's heroes put so much of their soul, sweat, and blood into their blades in the age of warfare, Fugaku was afraid of what Otochimaru would be able to do if he had access to those weapons.

Letting that snake have their ancestral swords was not an option.

"We will let the widows know they are to vacate the properties. Please give us a week's time to make arrangements for their families."

Danzo huffed in agreement. "You have one week and then the lands will be seized. Go and do as you must, we are done here."

Fugaku bowed low once more, and behind him Itachi and Sasuke did the same. When Fugaku stood to leave he silenced the question from young Sasuke with a hard look. Itachi understood at once and took Sasuke's hand to tug close.

"We will have much work to do tonight."

"The widows and their children will have to be moved into a new property," Itachi mused aloud. "It is unfortunate that we were not able to lobby for the preservation of their land, but I think I understood why it went the way it did."

Fugaku glanced to the side at his eldest son, who was now only eighteen and well on his way to being a shrewd clan head, if only his health were better.

"You may share your thoughts once we are home. I will have special tasks for you and your brother."

Once they were safely back on Uchiha grounds Fugaku would need Sasuke and Itachi to collected the ancestral blades and hide them again. He had a sickening suspicion that with the upcoming chaos Orochimaru, who had once been shy about overstepping such boundaries, would come out in force for what he wanted. But now with Hiruzen Sarutobi dead and the rumors of the Wave country having their own Maker type Sage, there was no telling how bold the snake would grow.

"Whatever you need of us, father," said Itachi, dutiful as ever.

* * *

Sakura tied the knot that kept her robe shut tighter and slid the door back, spotting Kisame on the edge of the porch. He looked up at the sound and stood when he saw her there. She wasn't trying to sneak out this time.

"The Kaguya swords that went limp, where are they?" she asked.

"Ah, we took them and kept them in a chest. You wanna see one of them?"

She spoke like a war general and there was no waver in her voice or in her heart when she opened her mouth.

"I want to see all of them. I'm getting information from them. Depending on what they know we might just have to move."

Kisame ran to bring the chest with the swords into her room and then called Shizuma down to send him off with the message to spread to the rest of the house. Kisame didn't seem willing to leave her for long and Sakura suspected he had always been close, even when she had been in the forge attempting the impossible.

Sakura pulled the swords out, one by one and inspected them each with a critical eye. She recognized the Kaguya bone swords easily and could see which ones were Danzo's animal masked swords. There was a single Kaguya sword that seemed different from the others, bleached and made from whalebone in particular.

Sakura summoned a Kaguya blade with darker wrappings and recognized one of the fighters from that night. His eyes were wide and hungry but he didn't lunge to attack at the sight of her.

'Kill her.'

"I wouldn't try it, buddy," Kisame growled from behind Sakura, drawing his own blade.

"He won't. I'd make him come undone before that could happen," Sakura hummed. She crossed her arms and looked the man over. "You know who I am. How did you find this place?"

'Kill her. She is the enemy of the one who gave us form. But she is the one who gave us form.'

Sakura felt her lips tug down in displeasure. His thoughts were fragmented from being a weak spirit and the general confusion. She wouldn't be able to trust anything he said in such a state.

Sakura dismissed his form and reached for the sword that clattered down in place. His voice was muffled and far off, but still split. She sorted through the others swords and was frustrated by their crude language. Some were more intelligent than others, but most of them were just savage blades with little more to their personalities than their brutality…except the scrimshaw blade.

Sakura turned it over once before summoning a body for it and feeling the magic drain out of her. She wouldn't have enough juice for another body if she had to forcefully dismiss him. Still, his voice was elegant and unfractured. There was a calm in him that was lost on the others.

Sakura made her choice and let the magic drain out of her.

He was tall and pale with hanging ash blond hair that set him apart from all the other Kaguya blades she had seen so far. Red makeup around his eyes made him look almost regal when he turned his gaze on her.

"How did you know about this place?" Sakura asked.

"Orochimaru is my sage. I will not answer you. Kill me if you must."

"Cute, kid. Talk or I'll pop you back into a sword and hang you up to be admired, high up enough that no one will ever touch you again. You want to end up like that?" Sakura cooed playfully, knowing only too well what fed the fear in the heart of most swords.

Predictably, the boy flinched.

"That snake might have been your sage before, but he's got no power over you now. If I wanted to I could use you, or toss you aside, but you want to be needed. You were made to be used and I have a need of you." Sakura stepped close enough to the boy that she could reach out and touch him if she wanted to. "You think he cared about you? He didn't care about anything and he never will, least of all his legacy."

"You are mistaken…I do not believe he cares for me. I know better," he answered. "That is beside the point. I am a blade that was made to be used and he is owed my loyalty."

Sakura leaned into the boy's personal space, arms crossed. "No he doesn't. I've won that from him when I bested you in that fight. He is owed nothing because he lost."

"Then will you weild me?" he asked. His voice made it sound so simple.

"Who gave you the body you're in right now?" Sakura reached out to touch his collarbone, left exposed by a robe left too widely open. He flinched at the touch, but didn't draw away. She could see the hairs on his skin stand up and the pupils of his eyes twist and shrink. It made her chuckle.

"That's my power, boy. Now I've summoned you to be useful to me." She dropped her arms to her sides and stood back away enough for him to look down and see her hand extended in an offering.

He didn't speak, but Sakura could feel his thoughts humming with a low current of  _want_.

"Now, will you let me use you in this?" When he hesitated she added. "Tell me what Orochimaru knows about me and this place."

The boy didn't talk on the first day, or the second day. Each time he refused she let his body fade away. She would return him to his sword state only to try again the next day. But Sakura didn't try on the third day, instead she cleaned his blade and practiced stances with him, sweating into the leather around his grip. She finished the week this way and then tried once more to give him a mouth and body to speak with.

Then….

"He doesn't know where this place is, but he pays a member of Gato's runners to lead his troops. He'll make another payment at the end of the month. It'll be double the number of force members and most of them won't be swords now that he knows what you can do."

* * *

Sakura ran a wet cloth over her face and the back of her neck when she heard the knock on the wood of the doorframe. There wasn't a door, but she glanced back to see Kisame standing in the doorway, watching the floor as she cooled her face.

"How is it going?" she asked, straightening. Her hair was in a messy bun with several lose strands still swaying while others stuck to her face.

Kisame shrugged. "The boys are getting it done. We'll be packed up soon but Yagura is concerned about missing enemy scouts. He killed one last night and now he's paranoid there's one in every tree now. Brat is getting on my nerves with his high and mighty doctoral ways. He really likes to boss us around."

Sakura cursed and rubbed the back of her neck. "We should probably hurry. What's most important is moving you guys out into Mei's compound. If we need to we can leave stuff behind and come back for it much later."

Kisame snorted. "You don't have to worry about the rest of us. We're made out of sturdy stuff. We're all more worried about you. Are you sure you're feeling fine? I want to say you're burning the candle at both ends like this but I'm afraid you'll just ignore me."

" _Fine_  is a good enough word to describe this feeling, I think. I'm not great, but I'm not terrible. I'm fine. It doesn't hurt anymore…just feels like a bruise."

Kisame's grin was lopsided. "You have a horrible habit of playing with yours, so bruises are actually pretty painful when they're on your body, Sakura."

Her frown turned into a pout that was less angry and more annoyed. "I'm pretty sure that's a bad habit plenty of people have. Was there anything else?"

His grin fell away and hung oddly on his face. It was a sad sort of smile that was left in place. "I'm just a little worried about you is all. I'm not worried because I don't think you can't handle yourself, I know you can but I know you well enough to know you're still in pain, and that just makes me want to do something…anything I can, to help ease what you're feeling."

Sakura reached up and pat the side of his face, cupping his cheek with her palm in affection before letting her hand fall back down to her side. He was tall enough that it was an actual stretch for her.

"You're sweet," she hummed in tired appreciation.

Kisame's sad smile fell into a frown and he stepped into the room, moving closer to be in front of her. "I'm allowed to care about you. I have that choice now."

She didn't pull away when he reached for her around the shoulders to pull into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his head into her hair, caching her in his hold. She let him, neither pushing him off or curling into his arms like she was supposed to. She heard his heart in his chest, pump slow steady rhythms, twice as slow as the average heart except when she was close. With her ear against his chest she couldn't tell the difference between his heart and anyone else's.

"You're allowed to do whatever you want. Just don't die on me," said Sakura.

"The same could be said for you. I don't want to think about having to live without you. Don't overexert yourself. Depend on us a little more." One of his hands drifted to rest right above where she had been shot several days ago. The bandages were still there under the fabric and easy enough to feel.

"I'm fine." It came out sounding like a whisper and she knew she sounded the complete opposite of fine.

"It's okay if you're not. We miss him too, but what we feel is probably nothing compared to what you're feeling right now." One of his hands moved so that his thumb could brush strands of her messy hair out of her eyes even though she never looked up. "I heard you in the forge."

Sakura's heart pinched. It felt as if someone had run a needle and thread through it and the knot at the end of the thread caught, but the needle kept pulling, forcing her heart to wrinkly up at the base of that knot that couldn't be undone.

"Tell me I'll be fine. I have to believe in that. If I keep telling myself it's okay then maybe I'll wake up one day and it will all be true. Maybe my believing in something will make it come true."

His thumb was still on her forehead, now brushing lazy circles across her skin almost absently. "I've seen you do impossible things. If anyone's belief had the power to change fate than I think it would be yours."

"I've tried that." She closed her eyes and remembered her efforts on the anvil and how she hadn't been able to go back into the forge since. When she opened her eyes again he was still watching her. "It didn't work out so well."

Sakura stepped back away from Kisame and pat his arm before passing him on her way out. He turned to watch her go but didn't try to stop her.

* * *

Konan was beautiful when she came into her body, dressed in a kimono as dark as her midnight-blue hair and painted with cranes. She looked like she suited court life more than the battlefield, but Sakura had thought that about Haku once too, and he was more than capable of holding his own in a fight. He was actually one of the stronger swords, so there was no reason Konan's extraordinary beauty should mean Sakura underestimate her. Konan was sharp enough to cut silk and beauty had nothing to do with it.

Sakura felt almost bad she hadn't dressed up for the summoning and blushed heavily when the woman's attention landed on Sakura. Konan's eyes lit up and her smile stretched wide.

"You're adorable," she gushed, falling easily into Sakura's lap to embrace the smaller and slighter girl. Konan laughed as she pulled Sakura into a tight hug. "Oh, I could just eat you up."

"Please don't," interrupted a voice from the doorway.

Konan hung off Sakura but kept her wrists locked around the younger girl's neck as she stretched back to see who stood in the doorway with a dower expression. "Another girl? No…oh, I remember you. You're Zabuza's bitch."

"Konan," Sakura lightly chastised. "Haku is one of my precious people. Please show him kindness."

The beauty pouted and looked back over at Haku. "Sorry my dear, I don't mean to offend, of course. I'm new to this whole human thing so I'll be making some mistakes."

"Like your hands?" Haku prompted, gesturing with his chin to where she still hung around Sakura's neck. "Don't be a bother to Sakura. She's too nice to tell an old hag like you to lay off."

Konan's eyes flashed dangerously as her smile stretched and thinned. Sakura felt the older woman's arms go stiff for a moment before Konan forced them to relax. "Old hag you say? Ah well, I see I'm not the only one making mistakes here tonight."

"Please be kind to each other. It's bad enough that most of the boys are biting with each other. I'd like you to try and get along a bit better. We're going to be living in smaller spaces soon."

Haku switched his gaze from Konan to Sakura and addressed her. "Then why give a body to a brand new sword? It's not like she needed it."

"What a brat you are. I should have known that pretty face was there for something. With such a rotten personality it's a wonder you've not been killed by decent people for such terrible jokes," Konan smoothly interjected, leaning forward so that she was draped over Sakura. She squeezed Sakura once more and then pulled away enough to back up and stand.

Sakura sighed, feeling her whole body deflate. "Please don't make this into a habit. I'm sure the two of you have plenty in common you could talk about to see eye to eye on. You are both such elegant blades."

Konan laughed and blushed, reaching up to cover the bottom part of her face with the back of her hand. Over her fingers Sakura could see her eyes crease with mirth. In the doorway, Haku just looked down and let his long hair fall in front of his face to hide the color there, though Sakura could still see the tips of his ears turning red.

"Sakura, you are too kind to your humble vessels," Konan purred, eyes downcast as she lowered her head down to her knees. "I am not worthy."

Sakura rushed forward to force Konan out of her bow and back onto her folded heels. "Don't do that. I'm not like that with anyone. I'm not your master or your wielder. You're human, you can do as you please and make your own choices."

From outside there were voices and Haku turned to look back over his shoulder and frown. He stepped aside a moment later to allow Rin into the room on crutches with Kakashi close behind her.

Rin was ecstatic to finally meet Konan in the flesh and gushed to the beautiful woman all about the praise she had gotten when Konan was still a sword on Rin's hip. Sakura watched on as Kakashi fondly supported Rin and Konan melted under the praise she obviously seemed inclined towards.

Sakura looked back and saw Haku still in the doorway, head down and eyes downcast. His long chocolate brown hair was hanging in his face, but moved when he looked up and caught her eye. Sakura didn't move. His gaze felt like it was meant to keep her there. And it was in that moment she remembered the last time they were in her room together and what he had done.

It was her turn to go pink at the edges, burning inside from the memory. Haku must have noticed too since he smirked and crossed the threshold into her room a step. He stopped when he was still too far to touch her, but not too far to reach if he really tried.

"You're quite fetching when you're unsettled."

Sakura looked up and glared, forcing the blush away. "I won't give you the pleasure of thinking that's because of you."

Haku hummed and then crossed his hands into the long sleeves of his kimono. His smile was back in place and he looked as lovely as a girl made for court once more. The transformation was immediate and filled Sakura with envy. She would never be beautiful like Haku or Konan, but the fact that they could just transform their own person with just a few changes in a few seconds, was worthy of her envy.

"You were the one who told us we were the ones with free will. You never said you were our boss, only that we're free to make our own decisions on our own, so don't blame me if I do just what you say." He inclined his head as one would to their betters. "I'll do as I please," he said cheerily before turning and leaving.

Sakura was able to tune into Rin's comments in time to contribute but for the rest of the night, the words would echo again and again, ringing empty in her brain.


	13. Chapter 13

Rin insisted that the girls have some alone time together, and it was Tsunade who suggested they hike up to the hot springs Kakashi had mentioned, and rest there for the evening. 'Just us girls.'

The boys paroled enough that it would be fine for one night.

"I don't like it," Kisame grumbled as he watched the gaggle of girls assemble in the courtyard.

"Which part?" Zabuza asked. "The fact that it's still dangerous out there, or the fact that you're not invited?"

"Both. It makes me uneasy when she goes places I can't follow."

"You're not the only one," a new voice interrupted. Kisame turned but Zabuza didn't have to. He would have recognized Haku's voice anywhere.

"I'm surprised they didn't invite you. I thought all the girls were going," Kisame teased lightly.

He knew well enough that Haku was sensitive about his appearance. Kisame also knew that the younger boy's sensitivity only heightened because of the feelings he had for Sakura. It pissed Kisame off to know how Haku felt about their master, but he tried to take it in stride. They all had their own personal freedoms. Who was he to crush Haku's?

"She's already seen me naked, that wouldn't have worked, asshole," Haku hissed, folding his arms over his chest.

Zabuza looked back over his shoulder, eyes narrowed. Kisame turned all the way around, hands handing at his side and swinging with the momentum.

"What?" the taller male bellowed.

Zabuza leaned in and added, "When did this happen?"

Haku waved the pair of them off, rolling his eyes. "It happened maybe over a week ago, after that big dinner with all the wine. I got drunk and wandered into her room and, being a sloppy drunk, I slipped out of my clothes a bit too easily."

"And?" Zabuza prompted.

Haku rolled his eyes. "What do you think? It's Sakura. She got mad and kicked me out."

"S-S-She saw your _dick_?" Kisame bellowed.

Zabuza winced and Haku grimaced at the volume of Kisame's outburst,

There was an almost sadistic gleam of glee in the curling corners of his budding grin as Haku watched Kisame sputter. The tallest of the trio was having a hard time finding the rest of his oral functions as he sputtered and spewed, his cheeks turning purple with heat and embarrassment.

"More than just that, but yes," said Haku.

" _Haku_ ," Zabuza chastised the moment he saw that gleam. "We talked about this."

"And I listened. You can't expect me to be so accountable during my drunkenness though. It wasn't like I  _planned_  any of it. If I had I would have been far more eloquent and maybe even successful."

"Zabuza, the shit is talking shit again," Kisame growled, looking to Zabuza like an angry adult would look to the parent of a sassy child. And when it came down to Haku, he might not have any parent, but Zabuza was the next best thing.

"If it was when he was drunk there's nothing more to say. It's not like there's anything we can do about it now." Zabuza closed his eyes and rubbed the skin around them with his thumb and middle finger, splaying his palm across the front of his face. "Besides, it's not like Haku is the only one to do stupid things when drunk. If he could see straight, I think Yagura would have tried just as much."

"Yagura is a lush," Kisame grumbled.

He eyed Haku critically, not completely sold on the notion that the younger boy was as innocent as he professed to be. They had both been there that night and Kisame had noticed 'Hime Haku' being a snood about the booze selection. Kisame hadn't suspected Zabuza's kid to get sloshed enough to drunkenly wander around the manor in the nude.

"Don't do it again," Kisame barked at Haku, willing to let it drop.

Haku ducked his chin and glared through his lashes. "Not unless I'm asked."

Zabuza closed his eyes again and just shook his head slightly, bracing for the onslaught of words between the two other swords he was closest to. Haku was being an antagonistic little bitch again.

"Shit, we talked to you about this," Kisame growled.

"You told me you both were doing a great job as monks and keeping it in check for how you felt about Sakura but I don't have to be like that. So what if you think it's not proper to want a relationship? Only Sakura can decide that and I-she should at least know she has options. I like her, and I don't think I should have to hide it."

"Did you stop to consider what she might be dealing with or going through right now?" Kisame asked, voice low and dangerous. The sputtering from before was gone and his eyes were narrowed slits of dark pitch. "She's lost someone precious to her, she's blaming herself for it, she's dealing with being tormented by a sick, creepy snake of a man from another country, she's fearing for her life among others, and she's still mourning the loss of her home and mentor. Do you understand that?"

Kisame took a step towards Haku and the younger boy stood still, letting the distance between them shrink. Whereas before Haku's stance and expression had been snide and provoking, he now looked off to the side and kept his mouth shut.

"Haku," Zabuza called, earning the boy's attention.

There was a moment of pause before the young boy's mentor found the right words to say. Kisame took a step back and crossed his arms, watching the exchange. Zabuza took a breath and found his hips to settle his hands there before speaking.

"I think I can see where you are coming from. You respect Sakura's ability to chose for herself and think you should be free to pursue her. If the situation was different you would be right. It's ultimately Sakura's choice who and when she decides to move on with someone. But right now she's fragile, more than you know. Her survival and her well being come first."

"She should have the right to know that I-"

"That you what, Haku?" Zabuza interrupted, tone sharp. "That you care for her, love her, desire her? That you want to hold her, make love to her, have her mother your children, grow old in a shared home together? Don't forget we don't know how much of that's even possible. Don't unsettle her with thoughts and feelings you can't see the source of! She's our Sage and our master. We all love her." Zabuza took a half step back and turned his face away. "We're going to keep her safe no matter what. Whatever comes after that is for another day."

Haku didn't say anything more and neither did Kisame.

* * *

Sakura bit her lip to hold back the sound as she slipped into the hot water. Rin was already leaning against the side of the pool with a sloppy grin on her face. Konan reached up and helped Sakura enter the pool by holding her hand while the sage stepped down.

"Careful, it can be slippery on the rocks here."

Sakura didn't bother being quiet as she let a satisfied sigh that ended as a moan escape her lips. "This is so nice," Sakura said, moving towards the same side where Rin sat. "I'm so glad someone found out about this and told us. I'll miss it when we have to leave."

"Yeah, but there are places like this in the capital that you can pay to go visit. It can get expensive though," said Rin.

"I've not been to the capital in this country yet," Sakura mused. "I wonder how different the Fire Country's capital could be from the one here. I'm sure it's nothing too drastic."

"Not at all," Rin laughed. "It's just another city filled with busy people. The biggest difference is the climate and the temperature I think. It was always so warm in Konoha. Here you'll see rain far more frequently."

"I've already noticed," Sakura said with her hands in her hair, knotting it high up on her head so that it wouldn't get wet as she waded further into the water.

Pale pink stands were slipping free so Konan came over to redo the whole thing for Sakura with a chiding click of her tongue behind her teeth. The end result was much nicer than anything Sakura could have managed on her own.

"You're really good at that," Sakura said. She could see her reflection in the still of the waters.

"I've not had a body for very long, but I've spent too many years in the presences of lady dressing rooms, that's enough to know a thing or two. This much is no big deal to me, my dear. Your hair is very healthy though, which is good. You don't dress it up special or oil it so I was wondering if it would be coarse like a man's, but I should have known better."

Sakura blushed and reached up to finger a stray strand that curled ver her ear. "That's not entirely true. I used to use some oils on my hair back when I could be petty enough to splurge on such things. I've just not had the motivation to preen since narrowly escaping death these many occasions."

Her words made both Konan and Rin laugh. Behind them Tsunade and Shizune had both slipped into the waters and were wading over to where the stones naturally shelved under the surface. Beyond the pools there was a dull gold glitter that twinkled in and out of sight.

Tsunade caught Sakura's stare and grinned. "That's a protection barrier. It's pretty crude, but it should be good enough for an area this small for only a few hours. I can't do ones much larger than that, and they don't last very long. You might be able to do something like this too. Orochimaru was able at least."

"I thought you were both different types of sages. I can't heal like you can."

Tsunade lifted one hand up out of the water and the liquid trapped in the cup of her palm glimmered with gold light. "Sages are mysterious things with limits that are discovered and destroyed every day. Most mysterious of all the sage types are the makers, since they are the types that end up breaking the most rules."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"Makes make things, including rules. It's almost like the ability to create supersedes any other ability. Orochimaru  _made_  the ability to do things because he is a maker."

"And you think I'll be able to transcend those traditional boundaries?"

"I don't know exactly what you're capable of. I was surprised you were able to burn the alcohol in your body since only healers can alter their bodies like that. Ah, but Orochimaru can't do some of the things you can do, either."

"You talk about him like you know the guy," Sakura said.

"I loved him once."

Konan hid her shock better than Sakura who sputtered and choked on her own breath. " _What_?"

"We were children together. I was infatuated with a pretty boy that I thought understood the world in a way only I could. I thought we were special, but I was foolish and young and didn't see his greed. Sarutobi looked after all three of us legendary sages at one point or other, but we all drifted apart as soon as we could. Orochimaru was Sarutobi's favorite because of his ability to hear the voices in the swords that Sarutobi made. Orochimaru was a talented sword wielder, but was shit at making anything."

Shizune chuckled from beside Tsunade and shook her head. "He still is. None of the swords he gives bodies to have any personality. The ones he sends out are so easy to tell apart from other humans because they're all dull as a box of rocks."

"Maybe that is something to be grateful for," Konan suggested, running one hand down her arm to watch the water roll off her skin. "I very much like how I turned out."

"Orochimaru could never stand when others were better than him," Tsunade said, eyes landing on Sakura. "It was after a long separation when I first heard the rumors that my one time friend had begun hunting and killing possible young sages across the land. Jirarya took a young boy under his wing and ran off to hide with the tyke a few years ago. I hadn't heard Sarutobi had one of his own. You were a surprise."

Sakura lowered her eyes and thought about the old man who bled out too quickly on the floor in front of her. He had died too quickly but his memory still haunted her when she least expected it. She hadn't expected to miss him as much as she had. He was rough with her, often ignoring her for days at a time to leave her to her work while he focused on his smithing. He had not been a father like man, but he was probably the closest thing she had to a father.

"Well, I hadn't known I was a sage at all until recently. Being able to hear voices is generally not a good thing for living in a superstitious village."

"You did well to lower your head. Orochimaru was ruthless," said Tsunade.

"He still is if he's reaching out this far to try and end your life," Konan interrupted, looking to Sakura. "I've heard stories about the Snake Sage of Konoha. He is not one I would want for your enemy."

Sakura sank into the water until they came up to her chin, then she ducked that under the surface too. "Thanks," she muttered through bubbles.

Konan's expression softened and she reached forward to brush the back of her knuckles down the side of Sakura's face. "I did not mean to antagonize you, my dear. Evil does not lessen for the good in others, it simply exists on its own through no fault of our own. For better or worse, we're here now and that snake won't be able to touch you. I swear this as your sword and your precious person."

Sakura flushed and pulled her chin up out of the water to rest atop her clasped hands. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this. It's a war you never signed up for."

"What else were swords made for?" Konan asked softly. "No one has ever stopped to consider the feeling or soul of a sword before, not that they should. We are weapons, tools, devices for the wielder and nothing more."

"You're not just swords anymore," Sakura huffed. She was proud of how her voice didn't waver when she remembered Sai's body, cleaved open and red for the earth to soak up. If Konan was cut open Sakura wouldn't be able to fix her.

Konan's dark eyes softened. "No, I suppose we are not, are we? You've made us something more. Now I can speak my heart's thoughts and do as I please. Still, nothing would please me more than being able to protect the person most precious to me. I want to be used still, but this time I will chose my own master."

The taller woman reached across the water to Sakura and tugged at Sakura's clasped hands resting under her chin. "You heard me when no one else could. I want to be useful to you. May I?"

Sai's body was just as red as Sarutobi's. Sakura tried her best to swallow the memory down, least it unnerve her voice. "I don't want you to get hurt. It'll be dangerous."

"That's why I want to stay here by your side," Konan laughed. "You think I want to live with myself knowing that someone important to me, someone I owe my will to, was hurt when I could have done something to stop it. You know that's how almost everyone here feels, right? We all want to protect you. It's what we  _want_."

Tsunade watched the sword made woman hold Sakura's hand and thought to herself how odd this was. She was used to seeing seals and wards and hexes in black ink that made Orochimaru's creations bend their will to his. Many of the swords he summoned were obedient on their own because they had the same feelings all swords were made with: a desire to be used and found useful.

But often Orochimaru was forced to break and bend wills when a sword decided they didn't want to slaughter a family for the Shogun just because they couldn't afford to pay taxes. That's when the hexes came into play. Seals burned into their new fleshy bodies made up for the loyalty he could not naturally inspire.

Sakura would never need to use such curse seals. She valued the swords she gave bodies to far too much to ever need to manipulate their feelings. Konan was just the tip of the iceberg.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Yagura looked up from where he crouched in the grass and frowned. Suigetsu stood a handful of paces away looking bored and lonely. That was never a good look for such an immature blade. Yagura didn't relish the conversation Suigetsu represented, but respected the fellow too much to ignore.

"I'm cleaning out this area."

"Why?"

"It's an unmarked shrine."

"And that is good for what, exactly?"

Yagura grunted and continued with his work. "I thought we could dedicate it to Sai."

Suigetsu was silent after that, but a moment later Yagura heard the rustle of fabric and dead leaves. When he glanced to his side he saw Suigetsu kneeling in the dirt alongside him, picking out the weeds a debris around the small stone structure. The bored look in his eyes was gone, and his face was set with determination.

Yagura remembered how close Sai and Suigetsu once were. While Sai stuck to Sakura's side more than anyone else, he had begun to grow and develop relationships outside of the one he had with his master. Sai was stiff and dull at times, but Suigestu hadn't ever seemed to mind. ' _I think he's a cool kid!'_

"Did...Sakura ask you to do this?" Suigestu asked.

"No, but she has enough grief in her heart right now. I was hoping to lessen the loss as best I can."

"She can't bring him back, no on can. He's dead."

Yagura nodded. "It's a chilling fate, is it not? Does it give you pause, to know that with your new body and freedom, there is also the risk of death?"

Suigetsu shook his head sharply. "No, this is far better than living a half life with no heart and no freedom. Even with what we risk, I'd never want to go back. Don't you feel the same way?"

"Yes," Yagura admitted.

A little while later the small square with the stone structure was cleaned of debris and weeds. Yagura produced the water and soap to wash down the stone. Suigetsu helped him with a spare rag and in little time, the shrine was prepared.

"I've never done this before, or even seen it done," Suigestu admitted.

"Neither have I, but I had a master who spoke of this. Shrines with no names are dangerous places. Demons and wandering souls can get caught and stuck. When they do, bad things happen."

"You think that story is true?" Suigetsu snorted.

Yagura rolled back the part of his sleeve that had fallen loose. "Not entirely. I only believe it enough to know there is no disrespect in using this structure to honor a loved one. We can dedicate it to his memory and hopefully goodness will come from it."

"That sounds like an old superstition."

"I am far older than you, boy."

Suigetsu huffed. "Old man."

"Brat."

Suigestu huffed while Yagura jut out his chin before producing a plaque of wood from his shirt's opening. It had a name on it, and when Yagura set it down Suigetsu's shoulders dropped. It had Sai's name on it.

"You can say something to him now, if you want to," Yagura offered, voice less stiff. He waited on his knees in front of the shrine, listening for the other male to speak, even though it looked like Suigestu was struggling.

"Stupid kid," Suigestu ground out between his teeth. "You don't have to worry though. I'll protect her real good. All of us will. We'll take care of her-you'll see! I'll take care of all of them. No one is going to die, you hear me? I'll protect them all!"

Yagura clenched his jaw, feeling his throat tighten. "Yes," he whispered in agreement. "We will protect this family."


	14. Chapter 14

They were getting ready to go down the mountain, when the next wave hit. Sakura had been standing beside Kimimaro when she heard the first far off voices and when she looked up his face was ashen from shock and then horror as something dawned on his face. He had been dressed like the others, and fed enough time at their table with them that Sakura was used to his muted expressions, but when fear crossed his face no one would be dense enough to miss it. 

"He knew I told," he whispered to her with regret clear across his pretty features.

"Not your fault. Get up, we're going to repeal them and I need cover. Some of them are swords at least."

"They'll be guarded by humans. You won't be able to get close enough to disrupt the magic that holds them together," Kimimaro interjected. "Please don't go out. The others will fight for you."

Sakura felt hot as she spoke. "I know and that's exactly the reason I have to be out there. I'm not about to let some of the most amazing people I've ever had the good fortune to know end up broken on my lands ever again."

Sakura stood from the low table and grabbed for the sword that would one day have a body that she could call Gaara. He was still a blade and she felt like he would stay a blade for a while until she felt confident in unleashing him upon the world. He would be the only blade she made that had a body with Sai dead-that thought alone made her blood go cold.

Konan was in the doorway before Sakura could reach it, features pulled together in annoyance. "Where do you think you're going, darling?" she asked, stretching her arms out to brace on either side of the door frame and lean into the room, blocking the exit effectively.

"Konan, at the borders, there's-"

Konan's slender finger on her lips stopped Sakura and she bit back her words when she saw that Konan's flirty smile was now gone. She dropped her arms to her sides and pulled herself up to her full height. "I know what you're going to say. Yagura saw them and he's already called the others out to meet them. You're to stay here."

Sakura felt sick in her stomach. Her boys were already out where she couldn't see them, fighting enemies that could leave them looking like Sai, bloody and broken in different shards of metal. Who had run out with Yagura? Who did she have to pray for?

Sakura took a step towards the door and Konan sidestepped to block that section of the exit with her body. She reached for Sakura's shoulder and gripped it loosely. "Stay here. You're more precious than you realize. If they reach you this whole family is unbound."

Her heart was hammering so bad it was painful. Sakura thought it needed to be ripped right out from between the edges of her ribcage and be set free like all the other caged birds. "You don't understand, I have to go to them. I have to be with them. If I can't see them they'll get hurt and it's all because of me. Please let me go to them at least."

"They'll be just fine. You've taken good care of each of them and our numbers are not as bad as you might think."

Konan's lips were painted a dark red that made her look like a polished antique, restored to its pristine condition. Her lips were drawn thin as she watched Sakura with worry in her eyes.

"Honey," Konan said. "You can't worry like that. It's not your fault what happens here. I can't let you go where it's dangerous. You're not weak but you're too precious to lose." Konan's lips quivered slightly. "So stop looking at me like that. I'm not going to let you go."

Sakura looked back at Kimimaro and then again at Konan. "At least tell me how many and where they are now? What about Rin and Kakashi?"

Sakura knew that Tsunade and Shizune had gone down ahead of them to prepare a place for them, but the human couple were still at the manor and Sakura knew that Kakashi's reason for living was that girl, so she doubted he would dare leave her side. On his own he would be in danger.

"They're safe. They took Inari and are hiding out in the cellar where no one would bother to look for them."

"Inari's not trying to fight, is he?" Sakura asked.

Sometimes the kid wanted too much and thought he could do what was beyond the abilities of a crude fishing knife. He wanted to be one of the big boys but he was still just a kid. 

"He's safe. He's in charge of keeping Rin protected, Kakashi said."

The responsibility would be what kept him safe, but Sakura didn't say that out loud.

She looked back and saw Kimimaro watching her with brows drawn together and creased with worry. He was looking to her for direction. Somehow that only made it harder for her to say anything. She didn't know what to do because her blood wanted her to move, to run to her found family and be beside them even if she was pathetic with a sword. But she knew better. She knew Konan was right.

"Where do you want us?" Sakura asked, looking back at the taller woman. "You have something in mind, I'll guess."

"I do. We're going to stay inside Utakata's room. The room is well protected and it has the disguised door. It'll be safer for you if we can make it there before we're spotted." Konan held out her hand and gestured to the hallway. "This way."

Sakura took the offered hand, grabbing for Kimimaro behind her and racing after Konan who kept to the shadows too well to be completely human. She knew how to move unnoticed and guided them to the opposite end of the manor in such a way. She ushered the pair in and then started to roll the wall painted door shut between them, trapping them inside and her outside.

"Koana!"

"Don't open this door until you hear our knock and our voices. Keep it secret and we'll keep it safe." She swallowed and then shut the door before speaking through it to Sakura and Kimimaro. "I'm going to go help the others. I promise we'll all come home to you though. I promise."

Sakura listened as the footsteps added and then sank to the floor. "Idiot. No one can promise that."

She crawled to a corner and sat down, crossing her legs under her and forcing her back straight. She adjusted the weight of her body so her legs wouldn't fall asleep on her, but the agitation in her heart wasn't prepared to leave her just yet. There were butterflies and bats in her stomach and they were tearing at the insides of her, trying to break free.

Kimimaro was looking around the room and found a rack of swords by the far wall. He picked one up and frowned at the blade reflecting his image back at him. "All these blades are dead. Why did he keep them?"

Sakura didn't have an answer, but she did have an idea.

"Bring one of those to me, please."

She held out her hand and he passed one of the the short swords over to her. She turned it over and saw her reflection in the blade and closed her eyes to it. Like he said, there was no voice because it was a dead blade, but inside there was room for her spirit and so that's where she went. She pulled herself out other her body and fit it into the blade. She fell into it the same way she knew she needed to in order to be safe about it.

One blade led to another, and then to another. She fell and guided herself towards a point until eventually she looked out from the dead blade and saw Kisame. The attackers were using dead blades Sakura wouldn't be able to turn into humans to fight with.

Kisame roared and then drew his blade back until it came free from the body of another bandit, dripping wet blood and gore. He brought the blade back around and another body fell under it's swing, just as dead as the first. There was blood all over his body, but none of it looked like it came from him. He was dressed in the gore of his fallen enemies and not far behind him Shizuma was following in the footsteps of his older brother.

Kisame laughed at the mess he made and then shouted back at Zabuza something before charging the man with the dead sword Sakura's was looking out from. The world turned over and Sakura felt the sword fall into the ground, sticking into the dirt like a stick left upright.

Sakura shifted her awareness from one angle of the blade to another, seeing behind her the world. Zabuza and Haku fought with their backs to each other. Zabuza had such an impressive range that was slow and left openings that would have been fatal if Haku wasn't there filling them in with thrown knives and senbon of his own. The pair flowed over each other like two streams of water, moving so fast it was hard to tell one apart from the other. No wonder the two liked to work together. Between the pair of them it was an impossible fight. She couldn't imagine them losing.

Mangetsu and Suigetsu were runners, darting in to do damage and then melting away before the ignored could retaliate. It worked well with Kisame and Shizuma who would then charge in, unbreakable as the angry ocean, to sweep the remaining enemies into death.

She couldn't see where the Karachi swords were, but she suspected both Yagura and Kagura were close to each other since they worked so well with each other. Maybe they were with Utakata who was also missing from the fray.

Utakata was a longer range fighter that worked just as well in close combat, but often kept to the ranged attacks since all the others were up close and personal with their enemies. An arrow whizzed by and Sakura thought it might belong to Utakata, but couldn't be sure because that was something the enemy was just as capable of utilizing.

She rotated around once more inside the unmoving blade to try and see behind her, but there was no one there. There was plenty of action she couldn't see well, and she hoped that meant her boys were all safe and doing fine, but her heart refused to abandon its worry. She wanted to see Kagura and Yagura and make sure they were in one piece. She wanted to see Utakata's smile and know he was still breathing.

Mangetsu and Suigetsu drew back together behind the Hoshigaki fighters who were harder to hit. Sakura saw red on the ground, and some of it belonged to her boys, but most of it didn't. They were fine, they were stronger than their enemies, but they were outnumbered almost two to one.

Orochimaru made his army with numbers in mind, not skill.

The boys worked well together, even the ones who weren't from the same set in time or from the same swordsmith. Somehow, over time, the group of them had changed from split streams to one powerful, roaring river, too broad to cross and too rapid to survive. Her boys would be okay. They would survive this and they would all come home to her. None of them were going to shatter like-

Sakura felt herself break from the sword and rush back into her body on a choke.

' _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry I didn't want to!_ '

She was back in her body looking up at Kimimaro. He was shaking and crying while holding his sword with both hands. The end of his blade disappeared into her chest and the front of her yukata started to stain with a dark red color.

"Kimi-ma-maro?"

"Sakura," he cried. "I'm sorry-he-he made me do it, I'm sorry, I didn't want to!"

Sakura tried and when she looked for it she saw the curse burned under the leather wrappings of his hilt. It had been a trap from the beginning. No wonder the fight outside was going so well. None of that mattered.

"It's going to be okay," she tried to say. There was already blood in her throat. 

She looked up at Kimimaro and tried to smile. He looked so miserable as more and more tears stained his face. His nose and eyes were red with irritation and she believed he really meant it.

Sakura touched the sword sticking out of her and defused the bonds that kept his human body intact. He dissolved into sea foam and lily petals at her feet. She heard the sigh and believe he was at some sort of peace now. Good. She didn't want to see him cry anymore.

With her nails she ripped the leather back enough to see the black curse mark that had compelled him even when he was human. It was a dark kind of evil magic that made her angry to see, since for so many of her boys having their own will was the most important thing about being human.

"I can do this much."

She pushed her magic into the seal and watched it burn. Orochimaru let her cleanse the curse from the blade, laughing at her efforts because it was already too late.

She was locked away behind hidden doors and even if most of her vitals had been missed, largely in part to Kimimaro's hesitation she suspected, she would bleed out before someone found her. She didn't have bandages and she didn't have rags to stop the bleeding. She needed to dislodge the sword too.

Her eyes hurt so she closed them and let the front of her yukata go wet.

Maybe it wouldn't be the end of her. She had been in terrible scrapes before. When Sai pulled her from the river she had been half dead that time too.

' _Maybe this is my punishment for Sai. Maybe his death really was my fault and this is how I'm to pay for it.'_

When she opened her eyes again the room was gone and Sai was there beside her. He was older, as if he had aged a couple of years. He didn't look like so much a youth, but had the definition of a man in his jaw and face. His hair was cut differently too.

"Still beautiful," she heard herself say.

Sai looked up at her, seeing her for maybe the first time and his voice was there, she could hear it, but she couldn't understand it. Her brain couldn't comprehend it, as if they were in a place where language wasn't supposed to exist. Still, she thought she got an idea of what he was saying.

"No, I don't think I'll making it through this one either, but maybe that's fine. I did what I needed to do." She reached for his face and it was such a beautiful feeling. His skin was soft like a peach's. "You truly are the most beautiful tantou."

He screamed at her and the white world around them burned away. Blackness took its place and she settled into it.

* * *

A long time ago a woman came to their village and everyone crowded to her because they said she was a wise woman, or a fortune teller. Such women were respected above the shanty seers who peddled fortunes that were always good and almost always lies.

Sakura's mother took her to the woman and paid for a fortune.

"You have a red thread unlike any I've ever seen," the old woman began.

The red thread that was tied around the pinky finger from one soul to another meant the pair were destined as lovers. There were other types of threads too, the gold, silver, white, and black threads that meant other things. Rarely did the woman see threads of any other color, but there were mentions of the purple, the blue, and even the emerald green.

Sakura's mother only wanted to know about the red one. Wealth, fame, and success could be thought about later.

"You have a red thread, there  _is_  one there," the woman began.

"Who is it tied to?" Sakura asked, reciting the words her mother taught her to say.

"It's not tied to anyone. It disappears into the darkness and becomes the tassel of a sword."

The woman sighed as if the effort to see such a fate was too much for her. Sakura waited patiently, knowing better than to be rude to such an important person.

"You ever hear the name Sarutobi, girl?" When Sakura nodded the woman went on. "If you fall into great trouble you should seek him out. He'll be what you need for as long as he lives. After that, I can not say."

* * *

Sakura woke up in a bed far nicer than the one she was used to sleeping in. The sheets were pure white to match the canopy overhead. She had never slept in a bed fancy enough for a canopy. She turned to the side and saw a modest sized room with some pieces of superfluous furniture, like a lady's vanity. It was the head a of dark hair at the foot of her bed that made her stare.

Sakura tried to sit up and it jostled her wound, making her catch her breath between her teeth and hiss in pain. The movement of her legs under the covers and her voice made him stir and Sai looked up, eyes wide at the sight of her.

"Am I dead?" she breathed. She sounded so rough in her own ears.

"You stupid idiot! You should have known better. What were you thinking taking such a stupid risk like that?" He reached for her and took her face into his hands. "Stupid!"

Her voice was little better than a whisper. "Sai?"

Sakura reached up and poked the side of his face and he flinched, frowning. "Stop that," he complained.

"Am I really not dead? You're really here? I saw you broken, I saw your body in all that blood. They said you were gone." She touched him again, tracing the edge of his jaw. "You look different…older."

"You made me like that. When you reforged me I changed so of course I would look different." Sai pulled away and huffed. "Haku said I'm not as pretty but what does he know? He looks like a girl. At least you can tell I'm a man now."

"I made you like this?" Sakura echoed. "I can't remember doing such a thing. I just wanted you to come back. I just wanted you to return to me. I thought I failed. You didn't come back when I called." She remembered the words and the mocking laughter in her mind. "He said it was impossible."

Sai frowned and grabbed her hand.

"It was a long way back, but I always heard you. I came back when I heard you, or I started to at least. I heard your song and was afraid I might not make it, but the way was always open and it was warm, slipping back into the blade and into this new body. I could tell you made me anew with love. That's not something the other sage could ever do, so of course he would think it's impossible. But still, I think it was special because  _you made me_ and then you made me anew. I don't know if the others would be able to come back if something terrible happened to them."

Sai's gaze dropped to the front of her chest where the bandages poked out from underneath the layers of her sleeping robe. She saw his gaze narrow as the skin around his eyes drew tight.

"Where are the others?" Sakura asked before he could say anything about the state he had found her in. She could see the reprimand building in his eyes. "No, where are we? How did I get here? I don't remember that."

"You were out of it for pretty much the whole time. You woke up once or twice but I'm not surprised you don't remember that since you were little better than unconscious. We're at the compound Mei had set up for us. Everyone is here, even Tsunade and Shizune who did the actual treating. The rest of the swords are refusing to follow her orders until you wake up though and she's sorta pissed at all of them. I think she was banking on an army she could use."

Sakura swallowed as a new thought entered her brain. "Kimimaro…is he still in one piece."

Sai snorted and pulled away to cross his arms over his chest. "Just barely. Kisame nearly snapped him in half when he saw your blood still on his blade. I swear those guys would have turned the whole country over if it would have stabilized you for how frantic they were."

Now it was Sakura's turn to snort. She hadn't remembered much of anything, but she remembered Sai in a white room screaming at her. "Like you wouldn't do the same? Isn't this the pot calling the kettle black?"

"I'm _your_ blade, the only one you've made and given form to, I'm allowed to be like this. Wouldn't any child worry half this much if their mother or father were dying? Why not a sword worry for their master? You're much more than either a mother or father could ever be to a child."

Sakura remembered Sai from before, and how frantic and angry he had been when it came to her. He had been so upset about Gaara, so upset about having to share her time and attentions with the other blades. He had been an emotional child with too much fear in him, but now he looked, felt, and even sounded older.

Somehow he had grown up on her.

"I'm sorry about the last thing I said to you. I don't even remember exactly what it was, but I remember regretting letting you go with hurt feelings. I should have raced after you and not let you go until you knew how much I cared for you. Sai, you're precious to me and having another blade or sword crafted won't change that. I'll always care for you no matter what."

Sai's lips quirked and turned up at the corners. "Yeah, I know that now. I don't think I'll ever doubt it again. If you hadn't loved me I would have never made it back, after all. So now that we know all that, I think I'm ready to be a big brother."

Sakura couldn't help but laugh. It hurt her stitches, but she laughed until there were tears in the corners of her eyes he had to reach over and wipe away.

"He's going to annoy you, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I think I can put up with it for your sake. I know he sounds worse than I did when I was that age."

Sakura continued to laugh. "You're only three! Don't talk like you're some sort of adult you goof."

But her laughter made him smile and she was so glad to see it after days and weeks of her own agony.

Outside there was the sound of footsteps and Sai let out an annoyed sigh before drawing back. "The others are going to bother you now."

The words left his mouth and not a second later the door rolled back and there was Yagura, pink eyes blown wide, followed by Zabuza, Kisame, and Utakata. The last one in hung back and smiled from the corner of the room, content to watch the other three men crowd around Sakura's bed.

"Sakura, you're awake!" Kisame roared with a warble to his normally powerful voice. Sai stepped aside as the largest male dropped onto his knees and grabbed her around the waist, laying his head against her stomach and shaking.

"Be careful you ignorant ass," Yagura hissed as he climbed onto the bed behind Sakura and sat beside her. He glared over her shoulder at Kisame. "She's got stitches there."

Zabuza pulled Kisame off Sakura but knelt beside her bed as well, looking her over carefully. "You okay, girl. How are you feeling?"

Her cheeks hurt from grinning so much but there was no stopping the smile on her face. "I'm fine, perfectly fine. I'm so glad you're okay too."

Yagura snorted from over her shoulder. "Of course we would be okay. None of us had a rogue sword stuck in our chest. Seriously, woman, you should know better."

" _We_  should have known better," Zabuza cut in curtly, glaring subtly at Yagura. "It was our fault. We made the mistake of separating and trusting that sword."

"No, Yagura's right. It was my fault too because I didn't see the curse seal Orochimaru left on Kimimaro. He didn't want to, but he was compelled and it's something I should have seen, but didn't. I can't blame anyone but myself. Kimimaro couldn't help himself."

"We're going to kill that snake," Kisame growled, still loosely hugging her waist but laying his chin on her knees to stare up at her. "I'll swear that to you right now, I'm going to gut him personally."

"You'll have to get in line," Zabuza interjected. "I've got first dibs."

Yagura snorted. "You wish."

Kisame looked like he was ready to retort something rudely when Sakura reached out to comb her fingers through his hair. He stilled at the touch and then melted under her ministrations. He became as docile as a house cat and almost purred for her touch. Behind her, Yagura pouted in jealousy.

"I'm really glad you're all okay. I tried watching the fight from a dead sword but couldn't see everything. I was worried about you." Sakura looked from one male to the next, landing on Utakata finally. "All of you."

"I think you are failing to see how vastly more important you are in this situation," Utakata sighed through a tired smile. "You're the one in the most danger and the one our enemy sage wants to see dead. Our bodies may be remade, and our souls, once forfeit, are not as irredeemable as you might believe. You love well enough that I'm confident that if any of us were to fall, your call would be enough to find our way back to you like the oldest stories say."

"I've not heard such stories," Zabuza muttered.

"I have, but I hadn't believed in them before," Yagura interjected.

"I've said it before," Kisame interjected, looking up. "The person who I believe to be capable of doing the impossible is only you, Sakura."

Sakura felt her heart swell. For as painful as Sai's death had been, the love and peace she felt surrounded by her found family made her believe and understand that the possibility of pain was worth the price of a heart. She was near euphoric with delight to be alive and surrounded by such precious people.

It almost made her understand the prophecy of the wise woman so long ago.

 _Almost_.

The door rolled back once more and in its way stood Haku, looking just as finely dressed as ever with his hair tied up into a half bun and dark blue paint around the rims of his eyes. His kimono was nicer than she'd ever seen and she didn't doubt it was because someone saw him and decided he deserved only the best. That, or Haku bullied his way into nice things. Sakura chuckled at the thought.

"You look like you're doing well," Sakura laughed.

Haku didn't say anything but stomped stiffly across the room and stopped at the edge of her bed. Sakura looked up into his face but didn't have time to move away before he grabbed her and fit his lips over her's, kissing her boldly in front of everyone else in the room. It wasn't a chaste kiss either, but one just as fierce and just as needy as the one he stole from her all those nights ago. When he pulled away his hands were still there holding her face. His eyes demanded she not look away from him.

"I told you I meant it!" he exclaimed with the utmost fervor. "So don't you die on me before I can prove it."

"You little-Zabuza get off me!" Kisame roared as he tried to lunge for the younger sword. Haku coolly took a step to the side and glared over his shoulder at the tallest member of their party. He ignored Yagura's stunned outrage and Utakata's whole existence, sparing neither male so much as a side glance.

Sakura had the feeling in her heart that whatever existed between the swords and her, whatever their relationship was, it was only the beginning of something more.

After all, her thread of fate was a tassel on the hilt of a sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus, never before released extra chapter coming up next, stay tuned! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 soon to come!
> 
> This is a polished (hopefully) version of a story I posted to FF.net a while back. It's another AU that I dearly love and adore so hopefully you all end up enjoying it too. :)


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